Canada. That Maple Leaf place. America’s Attic. (You don’t go up there very often, but when you do, you’re like “Wow! Look at all this cool stuff!”). That was our post-Chicago destination. Sans air conditioning (which stopped making an awful grinding noise halfway through the trip), we found ourselfs getting more and more nervous.
Could it be the hordes of beautiful Canadian women Chris had lined up to host us? Nope.
The prospect of finding out that they really do have flappy heads and fart a lot? Non.
Excited at the prospect of paying $1.11/litre? Nien.
I’m putting my money on that I was unaware of the plan to go through Toronto, and didn’t bring my Passport, Birth Certificate or anything. Long story short, after a car-search and many quizzical looks from the Customs agents when we told them we were here for swing dancing, we made it through. Needless to say, we did the Happy Butt Dance in the car.
We finally got to Toronto, only to find out that the dance (Middle of the Greek area) where we were supposed to meet our hosts ended hours before we got there. Bollocks. After some team discussion, we realized that our best bet was to follow through and keep on truckin’ with no rest or break till New York. But not until we checked out what Toronto is known best for.
Strip Clubs. (Locations curtosey of war-driving)
Chris had never been and although they do nothing for me, I figured that he needed some “relaxation” after such a rough set of circumstances. Even bought the dude a lap dance. But the funniest part was how the two of us were critiquing the gals more than anything else. “Holly’s got better isolation.” “Kathy can do that.” “I’ve seen…oh wait…nope. I haven’t.”
Now after some on-the road planning, I got dropped off in Utica to take a cheap-arse train to Boston where I’ll be meeting up with the lovely Andrea for a few days. On the way here, I gave a 70% tip because I was thrilled out of my pointy little skull to be able to walk into a Denny’s, have my own room, two plugins and free wi-fi. God Bless technology and great waitresses.
— Snoopykiss is going to iSleep.