it’s been a while since I’ve played a prank on anyone, and tonight was the
night to make up for the lost time. Matt Mussleman (No really, that’s his
real name, and not one fabricated for this story.) saw a whole octopus at
an asian market a while back and knew that mischevious things could come
from this, but hadn’t determined anything yet. Then, he thought of a great
joke…put this in someone’s toilet,
and wait..and wait..and wait…till you hear the girlish shreak of some unsuspecting
victim. He decided that this victim shall be my roommate Ann. (Note: Matt
did not just purchase an octopus, but also 2 squids…one for use elsewhere
and another for “backup”. When he unwrapped the octopus, he found out that
it was already sliced, so we opted to use one of the ickier squids.)
Now originally, this was supposed to happen at my house w/o me knowing
any of it, so that I would be in just as much shock as Miss Dubose. However,
so that the plan could be perfectly executed, Matt clued me in so that he
could determine when Ann was going to be home.
The social plan for tonight was to have a gaming party at my house with
a Dreamcast, PS2, and Gamecube on my nice new 36″ TV. This was a hit with
everyone, including Sarah who didn’t participate, but enjoyed watching a
bunch of guys screaming at each other as we mauled one another at Quake 3,
SSX and Chu Chu Rocket. The participants were Lee, Rusty, Sarah, Matt Mussleman, Matt Turner
and myself. Rusty and Mr. Turner were kept out of the squid loop so that
we could have some other bystanding victims. So we waited…and waited…and
waited for Ann to finish her shift at Cozymel’s.
The time for Ann to come home came and the ”Squid waiters” waited patiently
for Ann to do her duty. We were disheartened that instead of using the bathroom
like any normal person should, she made haste to grab her things so that
she could go stay with her boyfriend for the night. We all gathered downstairs
and the made every suggestion we could to have Ann go back into her bathroom
and check the toilet. But alas…she said her goodbyes and closed the door
Frustrated and thwarted, I fell on the floor screaming…”Anything!!!
Just go!!!” The aforementioned door then opened and Ann poked her head in,
curious as to why I was now yelling. At this point, we couldn’t hold it
in anymore and we then dragged her to her bathroom…She was disgusted…amused, but very disgusted.
After she left, we were still recovering from busting a gut laughing about the whole ordeal.