I’m starting to wonder if guys have just started taking multi-tasking (peeing and giving directions) to a whole new level. I’ll keep my those actions separate, thank you very much.
Meanwhile, I had the following dream:
I was walking to my car from The Bone (however, my car was on the other side of the Deep Ellum tunnel, for some strange reason).
Then my friend Tam drove by and asked me if I wanted to hop a ride. So, I jumped on the top of her trunk and said, “GO!” She then started screeching the wheels and somehow I was able to hold on while making this crazy right turn onto Good Latimer.
But then she decided to do a U-turn in the One Way lane right before the tunnel and then started going the wrong way down the same One Way Street back to Elm. She shot through 2 red lights at which point the cops noticed and turned on their lights and sirens, which then started a police chase. All this, while I was still holding onto the trunk with some apparently, super grip hands.
After we passed the Gypsy Tea Room, we were no longer in Dallas, but now in some type of redneck residental area with lots of tall grass and many wooden shacks and Tam was making sharp turns to try and ditch the cops. At some point, I realized we were going to get caught and jumped off and into some dark alley, but then there happened to be a police car coming down that alley right as I jumped.
I woke up right at the point where I knew I was going to be busted. Headlights shining in my face and everything.
After I woke up and then contemplated this for a moment and my only solid thought was, “I should have jumped right as she made a turn instead of while she was in the middle of an alley because then I would have gotten my feet grounded better and been able to run faster. Note to self, just in case I’m ever in this situation.”
–Snoopykiss needs to have a Zen Moment. Only $19.95
Coming from a guy who has a national reputation for licking people, one can imagine that it would take something fierce to really gross me out.
I also live pretty much an open book life, but there are some times that are sacred to me. Namely, when I’m releaving my bodily needs. I think that those are times that should be done behind closed doors and with no one else observing or even being aware. (I’ll admit that I’ve done my buisness while on the phone before, but it’s one of those things that I feel really guilty about and made sure that I was on mute during those un/comforting times. So, that makes it ok.)
Therefore, I was surprised when I walked into the work bathroom to find someone giving directions while operating “hands-free”. I then took it upon myself to ensure that his compantion was quite aware of his social faux pas (pis?). No hitting the back wall, I was aiming for the water, baby. I was somehow able to fill the entire bathroom with that famous sound and could tell that I made my urinal-neighbor quite shifty as he obviously was trying to quicken his own process. But these are things you really can’t rush. No really.
When he finally left (I forget if he washed afterwards), I felt somewhat guilty, but even more embarassed when I noticed I was laughing all by myself at a urinal. Great story for the next guy.
— Snoopykiss wants a mini. Cooper that is.
After going through enough 100+ people parties, there comes a time where one realizes that there is a core group of people who are not just your party buddies, but people who you can really depend on. Those are the people I wanted around me for my St. Patrick’s B-day.
It’s those people I wanted singing Happy Birthday in the loudest, off-key, deaf-tone, intentionally unharmonious, way possible. Ones that would give me Pinky, the Love Pig as well as show me the epitome of “ghetto wrapped”. Ones who know me and what I want, oh so well. (Thanks for the Mentos and shirt!) As well as ones who are so willing to help me “find something to bang” while making a joyful noise unto the Lord. And then give me a spatula to help with spankings.
After much merriment and a very-welcomed day slept in, I was kidnapped by two awesome Denver Follows, and whisked off to Lindyfest in Houston. This consisted of a weekend full of the country’s best and intriguing instructors where I took a class called, “Learning to Dance to Soul Music” and even saw my friends compete in the American Lindy Hop Competition Regionals.
–Snoopykiss needed that. In a good way. And a bad way.
Session Start (email@example.com:Leigh): Wed Mar 16 14:58:21 2005
Leigh: “I put my hand up on your hip and when I dip you dip we dip”
Tommy: “I get knocked down. And I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down.”
Leigh: “Pissin the night away”
Leigh: “I wanna lay you down on a bed of roses”
Tommy: “I would do anythign for love. But I won’t do that.”
Leigh: “how my poor heart aches… with every step you take”
Tommy: “Don’t break my heart. My achy-breaky heart”
Tommy: “Every Step you take. Every Move you make. I’ll be watching you.”
Leigh: “black cat, cadillac, baby meet me out back, we’re gonna boogy”
Tommy: “I’ve got a pink cadillac, it’s as big as a whale. And it’s about to set sail.”
Leigh: “Tin rrooff! RUSTED!”
Leigh: “Love shack, baybee love shack!”
Tommy: “Like a fiddler. On a hot tin roof”
Leigh: “with or without you”
Tommy: “And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeeeeeeeeeeee will always love…you.”
Leigh: “How do you solve a problem like Maria?”
Tommy: “And if you try sometimes. You just might find. You’ve got what you need.”
Tommy: “I am 13 going on 14.”
Tommy: err..”I am 28, going on 29.”
Leigh: TomTom.. “I think I LOVE you!”
Tommy: “Don’t go chasing waterfalls. Just stick to the rivers and streams that you’re used to.”
Leigh: “Go grease lightening, GO grease Lightening!”
Tommy: “AMERICA!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!”
Leigh: “Shut your F’in mouth , Unclse F’er!”
Tommy: “FAME! I wanna live forever!”
Leigh: “Dancing queen, young and sweet, ONLY 17”
Tommy: “Du hast! Dus hast mich!”
Leigh: “oh mamma, I’m in fear for my life from the long arm of the lawwwww”
Tommy: “I shot the Sheriff!
Leigh: “hang man in coming down from the gallow and I don’t have very long”
Tommy: “Signs signs..everywhere there’s signs”
Leigh: ” Bealzubub has a devil for a son!”
Tommy: “Cats in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon. Little boy blue ran away with the moon.”
Tommy: “Just like me…”
Leigh: “you’re the one!”
Tommy: “You’re not the only one. That can make me feel like thiiiiisss..”
Leigh: “I touch myself”
Tommy: “Big hands I know, you’re the one!”
Leigh: I heart you tommy
Strange things are afoot at Chez Falgout. It started off with my web server eating through 3 different power supplies in 4 days before I gave up and decided to pay someone else to host my site. (Thus the new design for the somewhat observant.)
And now my phone is having as much trouble finding service as a room full of Trekkies.
BUT! My birthday is coming up and this is more than enough reason to start celebrating. Good friends and hot tubbing last night and dancing till my feet fall off for the rest of the week.
I leave you with this limerick from my good friend Matt Weyandt who now knows why men pat each other on the back 3 times:
There was once a man named Tommy,
Whose mantra was “Be kind to the hotties!”
The lassies did dig him,
On the floor, he did spin them,
Dancin’s his hobby.
— Snoopykiss thinks you’re never too old to get spanked.
I love it when my expectations of things get thrown away and then replaced by even mo’betta things.
Like going to see the Stratosphere in Las Vegas. Beautiful view of the city with a rollercoaster on top! How could you possibly have a better adventure than that? What if your cab driver opens up the coversation about how far your seat is with, “So, how’s your nuts?” And then proceeds to barely miss running over every pedestrian that gets in the way.
Crazy Driver Dude to Lee: “So, where you’re from?”
CDD: “Cool. Got some weed?”
*confused, “Did he just say that”-ish pause* “No.”
*swerve* *swerve* *Run redlight* *bank left on 2 wheels*
CDD: “Now we’re in the getto. Want some crack? Want some weed?”
Best $5 ride ever.
G and I also scored $500 vouchers because Southwest was overbooked and we volunteered to take a later flight. To celebrate, we got G dronk with margarita’s the size of our heads in the airport.
Other wacky antics involving Lee, Barb, G, Deb and Gabe ensued. G and I stayed an extra day and went to see a Cabaret show where I then got drug up on stage.
But the highlight of the weekend for me was climbing the 75 foot indoor rock climbing structure at Gameworks. Toward the top, I was starting to breathe really heavy and my hands were getting sweaty, but getting to the top was a complete personal victory. That and I’ve been craving it for quite some time.
— Snoopykiss has found himself a new level of peace. It’s Zen-tastic.
In the persistent quest to better my dancing ability and fix my Overly Caucasion Syndrome, I attended the Paul and Sharon workshop this weekend. I picked up on all sorts of little tricks, moves and techniques, but if I had to say what concretely stuck in my mind (outside of the video of Laurie dancing) was that I finally know where to put my hand. And I’m sure all the ladies will love that.
And of course, no Dallas dance weekend would be complete without the proper cramming of as many people as possible at my place. As a result, I got in a fair amount of hot tubbing, some great company and even leftovers!
Amidst the active weekend, I was able to score tickets to my Kung Fu school’s Chinese New Year Celebration. Accompanied by the lovely Miss Erica, we now both know of some 10 year olds that could probably take me down.
After a (probably better off) cancelled date to go rockclimbing, I picked up the wackiest game in my PS2 collection. Katamari Damacy. The point of the game is to amass crap by rolling on it. The more you roll on, the bigger you get; the bigger you get, the more you can pick up. Don’t try picking up that cow too soon, he’ll get angry. Make sure to gather enough small children. Then you can move onto a Pachincho Store. Or my personal favorite: A Giant Squid. Well worth the $20.
–Snoopykiss needs a nap. But he’s going to Vegas, so don’t feel too bad.