Long time, no writey.

Hi everyone. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve written; however, I am planning to make updates to this journal regularly. The main reason I write today is to release a lot of frustration I have going on right now and to get it all out of my head an onto “virtual” paper.

It has been one of those weeks, where SO many things have happened, that on Thursday a co-worker called me back and I told him I didn’t need to talk to him anymore because that was a long time ago, and he reminded me that the message was on Tuesday.

Here’s a lowdown of my week: Wheee!!!

Sunday - I completed the 5th weekend of my Landmark Wisdom course and saw that I was not being honest with myself or with my girlfriend, Terri. I talked to her with the intent on cleaning that up and seeing where we could go from there. However, the said conversation ended up with us breaking up. Many tears later, I was back on the road to Dallas, doing the best I could not to indulge in the “If only I had…” conversation.
Monday - For the past 3 weeks, I have been in an intensive fight with my computer to get it upgraded. So far, I have gone through 3 different AMD processors, 3 different “compatable” motherboards, 2 cases, and 3 hardware providers. This was all because Fry’s (read: Satan) refused to take back my returns, because a fan which I purchased from them, fried (appropriate, eh?) my CPU. I even talked to the store manager, who wouldn’t budge. I then tried my luck again and amazingly enough, they took back EVERYTHING, including the fried CPU. I walked out of there feeling like a completely serviced customer.
Tuesday - I woke up that morning to see something I’ve only seen about 3 times in my life: Snow. I was so amazed, I went out and took pictures of my house and some of the surrounding areas. I then went to Landmark center where I was going to be a major part of an introduction going on that night and I was lit up; however, out of the 8 people, noone registered. I was sad; however, I got to see why I participate at Landmark…because in an instant, your view of life, the universe and everything can shift, which opens up new ways of viewing and interpreting the circumstances which present themselves. (i.e. I have been beating myself up for the breakup with Terri, because I know how wonderful of a person she is. Amazing, beautiful, caring, genuine. How could I not want to be with someone like that? And I saw that the relationship wasn’t “IT” and was just the next step I take towards finding “IT.” (More on my theory of “IT” later.))
Wednesday - Usually the day that I go swing dancing at Sons of Hermann Hall; however, that didn’t happen, because when I went to Microcenter to return two of the processors I purchased from them, I found out that they would not take them back. I was ready to start tossing fists. It was one of those moments were everything I had been supressing came up and I had to stop myself a few times and tell the person I was talking to that it’s been a rough week to keep from busting into tears and going postal on them. I called my roommate and ranted and raved all the way back home to keep from driving my car into the store. Thankfully, it began to look up after my amazing, omnipotent friend Lee got my computer up and running. Yeah babye! Bad news: My computer typcially crashes when downloading from the internet and my cable modem’s out. ETA: next Tuesday. Grrrr…
Thursday - This was the least eventful of the days. So far, my “upgrade” has cost me ~$1500. And on top of that, I’m thinking about getting a laptop for convenience. This would also further my goal to being a writer. (Inspiration strikes me at the least convenient of places.) That added to a wireless Ethernet router, and a new Linux box, would make me mighty! Mighty Tommy! Mighty Tommy!…who still has a lot of work to do on relationships. :)
Friday - I started off today by getting very overwhelmed by everything which happened this week. I then found my peace and sanity in two things:
An online journal written by “Pfunk”, an aspiring comic book writer, that is involved in one of my favorite online comics, Pffft. I have never met this person, nor have I even talked to her; however, Thank you, nameless soul. Your writing has granted me ease, and got me back in touch with my journalistic soul.
A conversation with a friend of mine, Steve Racz, who’s generosity simply amazes me. Steve was one of the people laid off by the many rounds of Nortel cuts. After being laid off, he joined a cross-country bike ride while also maintaining a group designed to support ex-Nortel employees to find jobs called HireTopTalent. Today, Steve and I were talking about relationships, life and the usual. After sharing with him where I was with life, Terri, and the universe, he said something very profound, “Be yourself. And those that need to be in your life will be attracted to you. And those that don’t need to be in your life will be repelled by you.” It makes so much sense and gives me so much freedom. And it doesn’t even necessarily apply to romantic relationships…but everything. If only computers were that simple. :)

What I’ve realized about all this is that I’m starting to get a bigger sense of what I’m up to in my life. I’m looking to do something big. Something biggger than what I can do by myself. I want to impact this world…this place we all live and dwell on. And I want my future partner to be a part of this. And I want this future partner to be someone I grow and develop with. I am easily distracted and am looking for someone to bring me back to my goals and desires. It might be a while till I find that person. Hell, it may never happen. And that’s ok…because I know that God and the Universe are on my side.

Thanks for everything, people. You make this world worth living.

P.S. The interesting thing about the two people who contributed to me on Friday are both Canadian. Thus giving me more evidence that Canuks are some of the coolest people around.