2025 Lewisville Punkin Chunkin
A Day of Flying Pumpkins and Flying Fun What do you get when you combine medieval siege engines, autumn gourds, and a beautiful lakeside setting? The 2025…
· 5 min read
Blog
DIY LED Disco Kilt: Wearable Costume for Dancing and Going Out
Build a wearable LED disco kilt for dancing, parties, and festivals. Complete guide to materials, LED wiring, sewing, and power management for mobile LED costumes.
GitOps for Presentations
Yes, I work for Microsoft. No, I do not like PowerPoint. Here’s my alternative with the source code which I’ll explain here. For a live example, check out…
· 3 min read
Managing Azure Subscription Quota and Throttling Issues
As Azure customers and partners build bigger and more complex solutions in their subscriptions, you might hit quota and throttling issues. These can be irksome and cause confusion. This article will walkthrough some of the scenarios I’ve seen and how to design with them in mind. Let’s make sure we’re on the same page regarding terminology used in this article: Azure Resource Manager (ARM) - The management layer and API behind all Azure resources Resource Provider (RP) - Each resource type inside Azure has a RP which allows you to manage that resource (e.g. Storage, Key Vault, VMSS, etc.) Quota - the maximum number of a specific resource available for your subscription. Similar to a credit card limit Examples: Subscription or Resource Quota Max RPS for Storage account Max size of single blob container Azure Function default timeout Maximum # of VMs in a VMSS Some quotas have adjustable and non-adjustable quotas Some adjustable quotas can be managed programmatically using the Azure Quota Service API Throttling - maximum number of API requests you can make in a certain period. Similar to bandwidth throttling NOTE: There are subscription and tenant level throttling limits. Each Storage, Networking, Compute and Azure Resource Graph also have throttling limits NOTE: Throttling for RP’s are per subscription per region Examples: Rate limit of writes to a subscription per hour Rate limit of Deleting a VMSS in 3 min Managing Quotas Because quotas are mostly static, viewing your quotas is pretty simple. Simply to go the Azure Portal and click on “My quotas”. If you need to increase your quota, you might need to open an Azure Support ticket. For example, if you need to start deploying in a new region, you might need to open a ticket to increase the “Total Regional vCPUs” and “VMSS” quotas in “West Central US”. Once the ticket has been approved, the quota will be available to you. Managing Throttling For the most part, you won’t need to worry about throttling, but if you’re doing very large scale deployments with LOTS of constant churning of resources, you might hit throttling limits. These limits are less about the number of resources, but HOW you use the resources. For example: You can have 5000 AKS cluster in one subscription, each AKS cluster can have a maximum of 100 node pools. If you try creating the max # of AKS clusters with the max # of node pools simultaneously, then you’ll definitely hit the throttling limit. Some OSS projects aggressively call ARM and the RP API’s in a reconciliation loop. Multiple instances of these projects will also hit the throttling limit. Since throttling is specific to the current time window, it can be trickier. There’s no “hard formula” for when you’ll hit a threshold. But when you do, you’ll probably start seeing 429 HTTP status responses. Throttling Examples Thankfully, you can get insights into your current throttling status by looking at response headers for the requests. x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-subscription-reads - # of read operations to this subscription remaining x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-subscription-writes - # of writes operations to this subscription remaining x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-resource - Compute RP specific header, which could show multiple policy statuses. (see “Read Request for GETting a VMSS” below for details) Let’s dig into this deeper using the Azure CLI. Example: Create a Resource Group (Write Request) Because this request creates a RG, it will count against our subscription writes: ? az group create -n $RG --location $LOCATION --verbose --debug --debug 2>&1 | grep 'x-ms' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-client-request-id': '' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-subscription-writes': '1199' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-request-id': '' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-correlation-request-id': '' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-routing-request-id': 'SOUTHCENTRALUS:20230512T163152Z:' NOTE: The key point is how the x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-subscription-writes is now 1199 (instead of the standard 1200 per hour as per the Subscription and Tenant limits) Example: GET a VMSS (Read Request) This request performs a GET (read) request on an existing VMSS. This is similar to the write request for the RG, but since Compute RP also has a separate set of throttling policies, it also counts against the Compute RP limits. `markdown ? az vmss show -n $VMSS_NAME -g $RG --debug 2>&1 | grep x-ms DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-client-request-id': '' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-resource': 'Microsoft.Compute/GetVMScaleSet3Min;197,Microsoft.Compute/GetVMScaleSet30Min;1297' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-request-id': '' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-subscription-reads': '11999' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-correlation-request-id': '' DEBUG: cli.azure.cli.core.sdk.policies: 'x-ms-routing-request-id': 'SOUTHCENTRALUS:20230512T162738Z:'` NOTE: The key point is how x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-resource has two key-value pairs: Microsoft.Compute/GetVMScaleSet3Min;197 - I ran this command before, so I have 197 requests available in the 3 minute window for performing GET requests on the VMSS resource Microsoft.Compute/GetVMScaleSet30Min;1297 - I now have 1297 requests available in the 30 minute window for performing GET requests on VMSS resources NOTE: x-ms-ratelimit-remaining-subscription-reads doesn’t seem to decrease (11999). Even if I run the same command again. I haven’t figured that out yet. Designing with quotas and throttling in mind Most Azure deployments won’t need this type of fine tuning, but just in case, there’s some documented Throttling Best Practices as well as my personal pro-tips: Use the Azure SDK, as many services have the recommended retry guidance built-in Instead of creating and deleting VMSS (which consume multiple VMSS API requests), scale the VMSS to 0 (which only consumes 1 VMSS API request) Any type of Kubernetes cluster auto-scaler will perform a reconciliation loop with Azure Compute RP. This could eat into your throttling limits Use the Azure Quota Service API to programmatically request quota increases If you’re unable to workaround the throttling limits, then the next step is to look at the Deployment Stamp pattern using multiple subscriptions. You can programmatically create subscriptions using Subscription vending. Hopefully this article has helped you understand quotas limits and throttling limits in Azure, and how to work around them. Let me know if you have any additional questions and/or feedback and I can follow-up with additional details.
· 5 min read
AKS + Private Link Service + Private Endpoint
This walkthrough shows how to setup a Private Link Service with an AKS cluster and create a Private Endpoint in a separate Vnet. While many tutorials might give you a full ARM template, this is designed as a walkthrough which completely uses the CLI so you can understand what's happening at every step of the process. It focuses on an "uninteresting" workload and uses podinfo as the sample app. This is because it's easy to deploy and customize with a sample Helm chart. This is inspired and leans heavily on the Azure Docs for creating a Private Link Service. Architecture Private Link Endpoint Service Prerequisites Azure CLI jq Assumptions This walkthrough assumes you let Azure create the Vnet when creating the AKS cluster. If you manually created the Vnet, then the general steps are the same, except you must enter the AKS_MC_VNET, AKS_MC_SUBNET env vars manually. Setup Steps First, create a sample AKS cluster and install Podinfo on it. Set these values AKS_NAME= AKS_RG= LOCATION= Create the AKS cluster az aks create -n $AKS_NAME -g $AKS_RG Get the MC Resource Group AKS_MC_RG=$(az aks show -n $AKS_NAME -g $AKS_RG | jq -r '.nodeResourceGroup') echo $AKS_MC_RG Get the Vnet Name AKS_MC_VNET=$(az network vnet list -g $AKS_MC_RG | jq -r '.[0].name') echo $AKS_MC_VNET AKS_MC_SUBNET=$(az network vnet subnet list -g $AKS_MC_RG --vnet-name $AKS_MC_VNET | jq -r '.[0].name') echo $AKS_MC_SUBNET AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL=kubernetes-internal AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL_FE_CONFIG=$(az network lb rule list -g $AKS_MC_RG --lb-name=$AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL | jq -r '.[0].frontendIpConfiguration.id') echo $AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL_FE_CONFIG Deploy a sample app using an Internal LB helm upgrade --install --wait podinfo-internal-lb \ --set-string service.annotations."service\.beta\.kubernetes\.io\/azure-load-balancer-internal"=true \ --set service.type=LoadBalancer \ --set ui.message=podinfo-internal-lb \ podinfo/podinfo Install Steps - Create the Private Link Service These steps will be done in the MC_ resource group. Disable the private link service network policies az network vnet subnet update \ --name $AKS_MC_SUBNET \ --resource-group $AKS_MC_RG \ --vnet-name $AKS_MC_VNET \ --disable-private-link-service-network-policies true Create the PLS PLS_NAME=aks-pls az network private-link-service create \ --resource-group $AKS_MC_RG \ --name $PLS_NAME \ --vnet-name $AKS_MC_VNET \ --subnet $AKS_MC_SUBNET \ --lb-name $AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL \ --lb-frontend-ip-configs $AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL_FE_CONFIG Install Steps - Create the Private Endpoint These steps will be done in our private-endpoint-rg resource group. PE_RG=private-endpoint-rg az group create \ --name $PE_RG \ --location $LOCATION PE_VNET=pe-vnet PE_SUBNET=pe-subnet az network vnet create \ --resource-group $PE_RG \ --name $PE_VNET \ --address-prefixes 10.0.0.0/16 \ --subnet-name $PE_SUBNET \ --subnet-prefixes 10.0.0.0/24 Disable the private link service network policies az network vnet subnet update \ --name $PE_SUBNET \ --resource-group $PE_RG \ --vnet-name $PE_VNET \ --disable-private-endpoint-network-policies true PE_CONN_NAME=pe-conn PE_NAME=pe az network private-endpoint create \ --connection-name $PE_CONN_NAME \ --name $PE_NAME \ --private-connection-resource-id $PLS_ID \ --resource-group $PE_RG \ --subnet $PE_SUBNET \ --manual-request false \ --vnet-name $PE_VNET We need the NIC ID to get the newly created Private IP PE_NIC_ID=$(az network private-endpoint show -g $PE_RG --name $PE_NAME -o json | jq -r '.networkInterfaces[0].id') echo $PE_NIC_ID Get the Private IP from the NIC PE_IP=$(az network nic show --ids $PE_NIC_ID -o json | jq -r '.ipConfigurations[0].privateIpAddress') echo $PE_IP Validation Steps - Create a VM Lastly, validate that this works by creating a VM in the Vnet with the Private Endpoint. VM_NAME=ubuntu az vm create \ --resource-group $PE_RG \ --name ubuntu \ --image UbuntuLTS \ --public-ip-sku Standard \ --vnet-name $PE_VNET \ --subnet $PE_SUBNET \ --admin-username $USER \ --ssh-key-values ~/.ssh/id_rsa.pub VM_PIP=$(az vm list-ip-addresses -g $PE_RG -n $VM_NAME | jq -r '.[0].virtualMachine.network.publicIpAddresses[0].ipAddress') echo $VM_PIP SSH into the host ssh $VM_IP $ curl COPY_THE_VALUE_FROM_PE_IP:9898 The output should look like: $ curl 10.0.0.5:9898 { "hostname": "podinfo-6ff68cbf88-cxcvv", "version": "6.0.3", "revision": "", "color": "#34577c", "logo": "/images/2022/cuddle_clap.gif", "message": "podinfo-internal-lb", "goos": "linux", "goarch": "amd64", "runtime": "go1.16.9", "num_goroutine": "9", "num_cpu": "2" } Multiple PLS/PE To test a specific use case, I wanted to create multiple PLS and PE's. This set of instructions lets you easily loop through and create multiple instances. podinfo requires a high numbered port, eg 9000+ SUFFIX=9000 helm upgrade --install --wait podinfo-$SUFFIX \ --set-string service.annotations."service\.beta\.kubernetes\.io\/azure-load-balancer-internal"=true \ --set service.type=LoadBalancer \ --set service.httpPort=$SUFFIX \ --set service.externalPort=$SUFFIX \ --set ui.message=podinfo-$SUFFIX \ podinfo/podinfo This might be easier to hard-code AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL_FE_CONFIG=$(az network lb rule list -g $AKS_MC_RG --lb-name=$AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL -o json | jq -r ".[] | select( .backendPort == $SUFFIX) | .frontendIpConfiguration.id") echo $AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL_FE_CONFIG PLS_NAME=aks-pls-$SUFFIX PE_CONN_NAME=pe-conn-$SUFFIX PE_NAME=pe-$SUFFIX az network private-link-service create \ --resource-group $AKS_MC_RG \ --name $PLS_NAME \ --vnet-name $AKS_MC_VNET \ --subnet $AKS_MC_SUBNET \ --lb-name $AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL \ --lb-frontend-ip-configs $AKS_MC_LB_INTERNAL_FE_CONFIG PLS_ID=$(az network private-link-service show \ --name $PLS_NAME \ --resource-group $AKS_MC_RG \ --query id \ --output tsv) echo $PLS_ID az network private-endpoint create \ --connection-name $PE_CONN_NAME \ --name $PE_NAME \ --private-connection-resource-id $PLS_ID \ --resource-group $PE_RG \ --subnet $PE_SUBNET \ --manual-request false \ --vnet-name $PE_VNET PE_NIC_ID=$(az network private-endpoint show -g $PE_RG --name $PE_NAME -o json | jq -r '.networkInterfaces[0].id') echo $PE_NIC_ID PE_IP=$(az network nic show --ids $PE_NIC_ID -o json | jq -r '.ipConfigurations[0].privateIpAddress') echo $PE_IP echo "From your Private Endpoint VM run: curl $PE_IP:$SUFFIX" I created this article to help myself (and hopefully you!) to clearly understand all of the resources and how they interact to create a Private Link Service and Private Endpoint fronting a private service inside an AKS cluster. This has been highly enlightening for me and I hope it has for you too.
· 5 min read
When, How and Where to use ClusterAPI (CAPI) and ClusterAPI for Azure (CAPZ)
This article explains why, when, and how to use self-managed Kubernetes clusters in Azure for testing custom scenarios. Kubernetes has gotten so large and complex that most companies prefer to use the managed service (e.g. AKS, GKE) instead of running it themselves. By using a managed Kubernetes service, this frees up the operations team to focus on their core competency instead of optimizing, backing up and upgrading of Kubernetes. While this reduces the operational burden, you lose the ability to modify the platform. Sometimes these are acceptable tradeoffs, sometimes you need to manage it yourself. Historically, AKS-engine was the OSS tool for creating unmanaged Kubernetes clusters on Azure, but it had some limitations. CAPI/CAPZ is the go-forward solution for creating and operating self-managed clusters declaratively. I highly recommend reading Scott Lowe's article on An introduction to CAPI. It covers a lot of terminology and concepts used here. One of the reasons for using CAPI/CAPZ is as a testing and development tool for Kubernetes on Azure. For example, you might need to build and test the following scenarios: A kernel change to the worker nodes A modification to the K8S config on control plane nodes An installation of a different CNI The use of K8S to manage K8S This diagram represents a high level architecture of a starter CAPI/CAPZ cluster. The rest of this article will explain how to implement the above scenarios utilizing the CAPI quickstart. Because the command arguments will change over time, this article will describe the steps and provide a link to the full details like this: Link to CAPI Quick Start with details: base command to run Create the KIND Cluster Similar to RepRap, CAPI uses a Kubernetes cluster to make more Kubernetes clusters. The easiest way is with Kuberenetes IN Docker (KIND). As the name implies, it's a Kubernetes cluster which runs as a Docker container. This is our starting point for what we call "Bootstrap Cluster". Create Kind Cluster: kind create cluster Initialize cluster for Azure We will use this bootstrap cluster to initialize the "Management Cluster" which contains all of the CRDs and runs the CAPI controllers. This is where we will apply all of our changes to meet our scenarios. Initialize cluster for Azure: clusterctl init --infrastructure azure Generate cluster configuration Now that our management cluster is ready, we want to define what our workload cluster will look like. Thankfully, there are different flavors we can pick from. By using the default, we will get an unmanaged K8S cluster using virtual machines. Generate cluster configuration: clusterctl generate cluster capi-quickstart > capi-quickstart.yaml We now have a file which contains the CRDs which will define our workload cluster. We will modify capi-quickstart.yaml and edit the CRDs to implement each of our scenarios. Full documentation is available for CAPI (baseline) CRDs and CAPZ (Azure specific resources) CRDs. Scenario: Worker node kernel change If we want to modify the worker nodes, we likely want to add a preKubeadmCommands and postKubeadmCommands directive in the KubeadmConfigTemplate. preKubeadmCommands allows a list of commands to run on the worker node BEFORE joining the cluster. postKubeadmCommands allows a list of commands to run on the worker node AFTER joining the cluster. apiVersion: bootstrap.cluster.x-k8s.io/v1alpha4 kind: KubeadmConfigTemplate metadata: name: capi-quickstart-md-0 namespace: default spec: template: spec: preKubeadmCommands: wget -P /tmp https://kernel.ubuntu.com/.deb dpkg -i /tmp/.deb postKubeadmCommands: reboot After you've made these changes, you can proceed to the rest of the steps by applying the resources to your management cluster which will then create your workload cluster and deploy the CNI. Scenario: Modify Kubernetes components If we want to modify the control plane, we can make changes to the KubeadmControlPlane. This allows us to leverage the kubeadm API to customize various components. For example, to enable a Feature Gate on the kube-apiserver: apiVersion: controlplane.cluster.x-k8s.io/v1alpha4 kind: KubeadmControlPlane metadata: name: capi-quickstart-control-plane namespace: default spec: kubeadmConfigSpec: clusterConfiguration: apiServer: extraArgs: feature-gates: MyFeatureGate=true The above example omits some fields for brevity. Make sure that you keep any existing args and configurations that you are not modifying in-place. After you've made these changes, you can proceed to the rest of the steps by applying the resources to your management cluster which will then create your workload cluster and deploy the CNI. Apply the Workload Cluster Now that we have defined what our cluster should look like, apply the resources to the management cluster. The CAPZ operator will detect the updated resources and talk to Azure Resource Manager. Apply the workload cluster kubectl apply -f capi-quickstart.yaml Monitor the Cluster Creation After you've made the changes to the capi-quickstart.yaml resources and applied them, you're ready to watch the cluster come up. Watch the cluster creation: kubectl get cluster clusterctl describe cluster capi-quickstart kubectl get kubeadmcontrolplane - Verify the Control Plane is up Now that the workload cluster is up and running, it's time to start using it! Get the Kubeconfig for the Workload Cluster Now that we're dealing with two clusters (management cluster in Docker and workload cluster in Azure), we now have two kubeconfig files. For ease, we will save it to the local directory. Get the Kubeconfig for the workload cluster clusterctl get kubeconfig capi-quickstart > capi-quickstart.kubeconfig Install the CNI By default, the workload cluster will not have a CNI and one must be installed. Deploy the CNI kubectl --kubeconfig=./capi-quickstart.kubeconfig apply -f https://...calico.yaml Scenario: Install a different CNI If you want to use flannel as your CNI, then you can apply the resources to your management cluster which will then create your workload cluster. However, instead of Deploying the CNI, you can follow the steps in the Install Flannel walkthrough. Cleanup When you're done, you can cleanup both the workload and management cluster easily. Delete the workload cluster kubectl delete cluster capi-quickstart If you want to create the workload cluster again, you can do so by re-applying capi-quickstart.yaml Delete the management cluster kind delete cluster If you want to create the management cluster again, you must start from scratch. If you delete the management cluster without deleting the workload cluster, then the workload cluster and Azure resources will remain. Summary Similar to how Kubernetes allows you to orchestrate containers using a declarative syntax, CAPI/CAPZ allows you to do the same, but for Kubernetes clusters in Azure. This article covered example scenarios for when to use CAPI/CAPZ as well as a walkthrough on how to implement them. I'm especially excited for the future of CAPI/CAPZ and how it can integrate with other Cloud Native methodologies like GitOps to declaratively manage clusters. P.S. I am extremely grateful to Cecile Robert Michon's (Twitter & Github) technical guidance for this article. Without her support, I wouldn't have gotten this far and definitely would have missed a few key scenarios. Thanks Cecile!
· 6 min read
DIY LED Lanyard Build with WS2812B and Raspberry Pi
DIY LED lanyard build using WS2812B strips and Raspberry Pi, with parts, power lessons, and assembly tips for wearable conference projects.
· 4 min read
Creating a Dev Env with Azure Functions for Python
Azure Functions (one of the many Serverless Platforms inside Azure) allows you to use Python as your runtime environment. This is great; however, it requires Python 3.6, which is a problem for my development on a Mac (which uses Python 3.7). Downgrading/dual installation has the potential for many perils, so I wanted an isolated runtime development environment which wouldn't interfere with my current setup. Here's my requirements: Run Azure Functions locally (e.g. "func host start") Publish Azure Functions locally (e.g. "func azure functionapp publish") Use my existing Azure CLI session (i.e. don't have to login each time) Won't confuse my existing Python 3.7 env. Docker to the rescue! I'll spare you the details of the iterative process of creating the Dockerfile, but after a some iterations, I knew I was on the right track. You can copy/create my code here: https://gist.github.com/lastcoolnameleft/05b6b09735fb435b2cb4469f6cf30ac6 In short, it creates a Docker image and runs it with: Ubuntu 18.04 Python 3.6 Azure CLI Azure Function Core Tools Forwards port 7071 from inside the container to my localhost (used for local function testing) Mounts my home dir to /root to maintain my Azure CLI session. (e.g. No login!) This will definitely save me time each time I want to setup a new Function (or other) environment and I hope it helps save time for you too. Make my func the p-func!
· 2 min read
RoboClippy - Combining 20 years of Internet rage into an adorable package.
The internet’s a weird place. We already knew that, yet it keeps finding new ways to amaze me. Someone thought it would be a novel idea to incorporate…
· 7 min read
Ark + Azure Kubernetes Service
As much as Cloud Providers tout their availability and uptime, disasters happen. It's inevitable. And it's usually up to you to be prepared. There are services that can help; however, they're not always "Kubernetes aware". Thankfully, the great folks at Heptio open-sourced Ark, a Disaster Recovery tool which works for all the major cloud providers. I got hands-on with Ark and followed their Azure steps. It was a good start, but didn't highlight how an actual failover and recovery would look to the operator. I took their steps and created a step-by-step guide to perform a full migration. Ark support Azure native resources, namely Managed Disk + Snapshots. You can review those steps here: https://github.com/heptio/ark/blob/master/docs/azure-config.md Another option would be to use Restic, which performs backups to a local file system. Later, I'll detail the steps on how to use Restic with Azure. If you're looking for Best Practices on supporting Business Continuity and Disaster Recovery for AKS/K8S clusters in Azure, you're in luck! I wrote a Microsoft article covering this use case, which can be found here: https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/aks/operator-best-practices-multi-region
· 1 min read
The Journey to Kubernetes
I created this article with the intent of explaining the migration journey from deploying a legacy application with manual steps to an automated Kubernetes deployment with proper DevOps practices. Its intent is not to help you understand Kubernetes deeper (there’s an abundance of materials out there already). As a Cloud Solution Architect for Microsoft, every week I work with our partners to assist them towards containerization and Kubernetes. I’ll use AKS and discuss it’s strengths and weaknesses without holding punches. Disclaimer: Given I work for Microsoft, I am self-aware of my bias. So in this article, I will make an effort to be more critical of Azure to balance that out. Beginning With the End in Mind, I created the following outline: Intent Duckiehunt is secure, monitored and deployable with the least amount of manual effort, cost and code-change. Purpose I wrote Duckiehunt in 2007 as a LAMP website. It embodies many of the customer requirements I see: Old code, using legacy tooling Want a reliable, resilient infrastructure Want to automate deployment Don't want to re-write Migration should involve minimal/no code change Need to update to modern standards (e.g. HTTPS, MySQL encryption, private DB instance with backups) Outcomes CI/CD (Code Check-in triggers automated tests and pushes to Production) Monitoring cluster + app (visualization + alerts if down) HTTPS enabled for duckiehunt.com (CA Cert + forced redirection to https) Running on Kubernetes (AKS) Managed MySQL Milestones: (in reverse order of accomplishment) Production DNS migrated Azure Monitor + Container Monitoring Solution + LogAnalytics Distinct Dev + Prod environments VSTS + Github integration Securely expose UI + API Integrated MySQL instance Installed on AKS Test in Minikube Migrate App to Container From here on, I’ll explain my journey as steps fulfilling the milestones I created. I’ll list my estimated time, as along with my actual time to compare. The times below are not “Time to get X workingâ€, but “Time to get X working correctly and automate as if I had to support this in production†(which I do). As a result, they’re much higher than a simple success case. Migrate app to Container Estimated Time: 4 hours. Actual Time: 10 hours I wrote this in 2007 using a PHP version that is no longer supported (5.3) and a framework (CodeIgniter) that is not as active. I didn’t want to re-write it yet. Thankfully, 5.6 is mostly backwards compatible and I was able to find a container using that. I would have been done in ~4 hours; however, I lost an embarrassing amount of hours banging my head against the wall when I automated the docker build. (I would always get 404) I learned this was because Linux’s file system is case-sensitive and OSX’s is not, and the PHP framework I chose in 2007 expects the first character of some files to start with a capital letter. grumble* *grumble Test in Minikube Estimated time: 12 hours. Actual Time: 10 hours Now that I got my PHP app running in a container, it was time to get it running inside Kubernetes. To do this, I needed to deploy, integrate and test the following: Pod, Service, Secrets, Configuration, MySQL and environment variables. This is a pretty iterative approach of "This, this…nope…how about this?...Nope...This?...ah ha!...Ok, now this...Nope." This is where Draft comes in. It’s a Kubernetes tool specifically designed for this use case, and I think I’ve started to develop romantic feelings for this tool because of how much time and headache it saved me while being dead simple to use. Install in AKS Estimated time: 8 hours. Actual time: 2 hours Creating a new AKS cluster takes about 10 minutes and is instantly ready to use. Because I had done the work on testing it Minikube the hard-word was already done, but I expected some additional hiccups. Again, this is where my love and adoration of Draft started to shine. I was almost done in 30 minutes, but I took some shortcuts with Minikube that came back to bite me. Integrated MySQL instance Estimated time: 2 hours. Actual time: 3 hours Azure now offers MySQL as a Service (aka Azure Database for MySQL) and I chose to use that. I could have run MySQL in a container in the cluster; however, I would have had to manage my own SLA, backups, scaling, etc. Given my intent of this project is to have the least amount of work and cost, and the cost is still within my MSDN budget, I chose to splurge. I spent an hour experimenting with Open Service Broker for Azure (a way of managing external dependencies, like MySQL, native to K8S). I really like the idea, but I wanted one instance for both Dev + Prod and needed a high control over how my app read in database parameters (since it was written in 2007). If I was doing more deployments than one, OSBA would be the right fit, but not this time. Steps taken: Create the Azure Database for MySQL Instance Created the dev/prod accounts Migrated the data (mysqldump) White-listed the source IPs (To MySQL, the cluster traffic looks as if it's coming from the Ingress IP address) Injected the connection string to my application (Using K8S Secrets) Then I was off to the races. OSBA would have automated all of that for me, but I'll save that for a proverbial rainy day. Securely expose UI + API Estimated time: 4 hours. Actual time: 20 hours This was the most frustrating part of the entire journey. I decided to use Nginx Ingress Controller with Cert-manager (for SSL). There’s lots of old documentation that conflicts with recommended practices, which led to lots of confusion and frustration. I got so frustrated I purposely deleted the entire cluster and started from scratch. Lessons’ learned: nginx-ingress is pretty straight-forward and stable. Cert-manager is complicated and I had to restart it a lot. I really miss kube-lego (same functionality, but deprecated. Kube-lego was simple and reliable) Put your nginx-ingress + cert-manager in kube-system, not in the same namespace as your app You might have to restart cert manager pods when you modify services. I had issues where cert-manager was not registering my changes. cert-manager might take ~30 minutes to re-calibrate itself and successfully pull the cert it’s been failing on for the last 6 hours cert-manager creates secrets when it tries to negotiate, so be mindful of extra resources left around, even if you delete the helm chart cert-manager injects its own ingress into your service for verifying you own the domain. If you don’t have your service/ingress working properly, cert-manager will not work If you’re doing DNS changes, cert-manager will take a long time to “uncache†the result. Rebooting kibe-dns doesn’t help. There’s no documentation for best-practices for setting up 2 different domains with cert-manager (e.g. dev.duckiehunt.com; www.duckiehunt.com) AKS's HTTP application routing is a neat idea, but you cannot use custom domains. So you're forced to use its *.aksapps.io domain for your services. Great idea, but not useful in real-world scenarios To summarize, I was finally able to get development and production running in two different namespaces with one ingress controller and one cert-manager. Should have been simple, but death-by-1000-papercuts ensued with managing certs for each of them. Now I’m wiser, but the journey was long and frustrating. That might involve a blog post of its own. VSTS + Github integration Estimated time: 4 hours. Actual time: 2 hours VSTS makes CI/CD easy. Real easy. Almost too easy. I lost some time (and ~8 failed builds) because the VSTS UX isn’t intuitive to me and documentation is sparse. But now that it’s working, I have a fully automated Github commit -> Production release pipeline which completes within 5 minutes. This will save me a tremendous amount of time in the future. This is what I’m most excited about. Azure Monitor + Container Monitoring Solution + LogAnalytics *Estimated time: 3 hour. Actual time: None. * This was the surprising part. All of this work was already done for me by setting up the AKS cluster and integrated into the portal. I was impressed that this was glued together without any additional effort needed. That said, here’s some “gotchasâ€: The LogAnalytics SLA is 6 hours. My testing showed that new logs showed up within 5 minutes, but after a cluster is newly created, initial logs would take 30 minutes to appear. The LogAnalytics UX isn’t intuitive, but the query language is extremely powerful and each of the pods logs were available by clicking through the dashboard. Monitoring and Logging are two pillars of the solution; however, Alerting is missing from the documentation. That integration is forthcoming, and will likely involve another blog entry. The “Health†tile is useful for getting an overview of your cluster; however, the “Metrics†tile seems pretty limited. Both are still in Preview, and I expect to see additional improvements coming soon. Production DNS migrated Estimated time: 1 hour. Actual time: 1 hour Since I did the heavy lifting in the “Securely expose UI + API†section, this was as easy as flipping a light switch and updating the DNS record in my registrar (dreamhost.com). No real magic here. Summary This has been a wonderful learning experience for me, because I was not just trying to showcase AKS/K8S and its potential, but also using it as it is intended to be used, thus getting my hands dirtier than normal. Most of the underestimated time was spent on a few issues that “rat-holed†me due to technical misunderstandings and gaps in my knowledge. I’ve filled in many of those gaps now and hope that it saves you some time too. If this has been valuable for you, please let me know by commenting below. And if you’re interesting in getting a DuckieHunt duck, let me know as I’d love to see more take flight! P.S. The source code for this project is also available here.
· 9 min read
How to SSH into an AKS agent node
WARNING: SSH'ing into an agent node is an anti-pattern and should be avoided. However, we don't live in an ideal world, and sometimes we have to do the needful. Overview This walkthrough creates an SSH Server running as a Pod in your Kubernetes cluster and uses it as a jumpbox to the agent nodes. It is designed for users managing a Kubernetes cluster who cannot readily SSH to into their agent nodes (e.g. AKS) does not publicly expose the agent nodes for security considerations). This is one of the steps in the Kubernetes Workshop I have built when working with our partners. NOTE It has been tested in AKS cluster; however, it should also work in other cloud providers. You can follow the steps on the SSH to AKS Cluster Nodes walkthrough; however, that requires you to upload your Private SSH key which I would rather avoid. Assumptions The SSH Public key has been installed for your user on the Agent host You have jq installed Not vital, but makes the last step easier to understand. Install an SSH Server If you're paranoid, you can generate your own SSH server container; however, (https://github.com/corbinu/ssh-server) has some pretty good security defaults and is available on Docker Hub. kubectl run ssh-server --image=corbinu/ssh-server --port=22 --restart=Never Setup port forward Instead of exposing a service with an IP+Port, we'll take the easy way and use kubectl to port-forward to your localhost. NOTE: Run this in a separate window since it will need to be running for as long as you want the SSH connection kubectl port-forward ssh-server 2222:22 Inject your Public SSH key Since we're using the ssh-server as a jumphost, we need to inject our SSH key into the SSH Server. Using root for simplicity's sake, but I recommend a more secure approach going forward. (TODO: Change this to use a non-privileged user.) cat ~/.ssh/id_rsa.pub | kubectl exec -i ssh-server -- /bin/bash -c "cat >> /root/.ssh/authorized_keys" SSH to the proxied port Using the SSH Server as a jumphost (via port-forward proxy), ssh into the IP address of the desired host. `# Get the list of Host + IP's kubectl get nodes -o json | jq '.items[].status.addresses[].address' $USER = Username on the agent host $IP = IP of the agent host ssh -J root@127.0.0.1:2222 $USER@$IP` NOTE: If you get "WARNING: REMOTE HOST IDENTIFICATION HAS CHANGED!" You might need to add -o StrictHostKeyChecking=no to the SSH command if you bounce across clusters. This is because SSH believes that the identity of the host has changed and you need to either remove that entry from your ~/.ssh/known_hosts or tell it to ignore the host identity. Cleanup kubectl delete pod ssh-server Kill the kubectl port-forward command
· 3 min read
From the ashes...
This week, I found myself in one of the most unique and challenging situations of my life. And now that it’s all over, I find myself in tears. Not because of sadness, but because I now know myself as someone who can actually make a difference is this world, despite the circumstances. Now for a little backstory. It should be no surprise that I love to build. I found my best friend, Lee Gibson, when a LEGO set came up at a White Elephant party and we both schemed on how to win it. I’ve created a non-profit called “The Trebuchet Societyâ€, with the primary goal of hosting SlingFest, a (mostly) annual event designed to gather builders from around the area to create trebuchets and toss pumpkins hundreds of feet. It’s a blast and fuels my desire to build and be around other builders. In 2014, I discovered TheLab.ms via a tweet. A budding Makerspace/Hackerspace. Its mission is to foster a collaborative environment wherein people can explore and create intersections between technology, science, art, and culture. I found my people. Their guiding principles were more focused on education and ethical hacking instead of building trebuchets, but that’s cool. My mom was a librarian, so education is in my blood. I just wanted to be around like-minded people. I watched Shawn Porter, Roxy Dehart and Richard Gowen pour their heart out into it and build it from scratch. TheLab even got an article in the Plano Magazine. As with all non-profits, you want awareness, engagement and members. These usually bring in new ideas and fresh blood. Sometimes in alignment with your own ideas, sometimes not. And as a father, I can tell you, there is no rage in the world like watching something happen to your baby. Fast forward a few years and after some leadership changes, the last of the founders resigned as a board member, and a number of positions were either vacant or MIA. Then the Education Coordinator resigned. Then the President resigned. Then the Floating Board Member. And the Vice President. And the Secretary. Their reasons were their own. And I support them 100%. I was now in one of the most unique and confronted situations of my life. The sole Board Member of TheLab.ms. A community that I’ve been with from almost the very start and loved so dearly was fighting amongst itself. Anger and frustration was evident on a daily basis. People were burnt out. Thankfully, I had an ace in my pocket. For the last 6 months, I’ve been registered in a course called “Team Management and Leadership Program†from Landmark Worldwide. It is a course designed around creating teams and teamwork in any situation that produce powerful results in many areas of life with freedom and ease. I called my coach and the classroom leader in tears that day. I felt completely broken down and had no idea how to make this work. Through an insightful and “tough love†conversation, I started to see a path forward. I organized a last-minute event and invited people to create the future of TheLab. I expected about 6 people to show up. I had to hold back my emotions when the room completely filled up, including members I hadn’t seen in years. These were people who, despite the burn-out, despite the anger, despite the frustration, deeply wanted TheLab to not just survive, but to thrive. It was showtime. In an hour and a half, we dug deep, asked some good questions and had some fun. We had some deep, meaningful conversations about the future and not the past. And most importantly, people stepped up to the plate to take on some big leadership positions. Elections are next week and I invite all of you to learn what we’re about. I have never been more proud to be part of an organization than I am right now. I have found my people. Again.
Kubecon-CloudNativeCon - Take me to the river
Emerging civilizations naturally gravitate towards beds of water. Growing up in lower Louisiana, the Mighty Mississippi was where my ancestry settled. It…
· 3 min read
How I learned to stop worrying and love containers
I was recently invited to participate in the Microsoft Partner blog where I shared my love of containers. I'm especially passionate about container technology because of how much it makes the developer's life easier. Unfortunately, it's one of those things that must be experienced to truly understand. I tried to boil my thoughts town to just a few paragraphs here. Check it out and let me know what you think! https://blogs.technet.microsoft.com/msuspartner/2017/11/13/how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-containers/
· 1 min read
LetsEncrypt on Azure App Service for Linux
Azure App Service for Linux is a pretty neat offering from Azure. You get all of the DevOps features you want (A/B Testing, Hosted Application, Tiered Support, Button-click scaling, lots of templates and more!) without the headache of managing VM's. 9 years ago, I wrote a quacky little website called "Duckiehunt". Unfortunately, I didn't pay the tech debt and things kept breaking until it was abandoned. I'm now using Duckiehunt as a learning ground for Azure's services and alternatives. Azure App Service for Linux was the perfect fit. However, back in 2008 SSL wasn't as ubiquitous. Now, it's a badge of shame to NOT have it. Azure does offer an App Service Certificate, but I'd like to find a cheaper/more open solution. Enter Let'sEncrypt from Mozilla and the EFF. If you don't know, EFF are the unsung heroes of the internet. They fight tirelessly to support your freedom and rights on the internet. Mozilla and EFF offer Let'sEncrypt as a free way to encrypt websites via CertBot. Now I'll dig into the technical details behind encrypting an App Service for Linux with Let'sEncrypt. Step #1: Get CertBot Because I'm on OSX, I was able to run: brew install certbot. For the full range of options, CertBot's webpage has what you need. Step #2: Create Cert locally Before CertBot can create the certificate for you, it must first validate you own the domain. It will prompt you for a few questions, and then ask you to create a file on the webhost and add content to that file for validation. Thankfully, Azure App Service for Linux provides a terminal access to your container so you can make these modifications yourself. ➜ sudo certbot certonly -d duckiehunt.com --manual ... Create a file containing just this data: %RANDOM STRING 1% And make it available on your web server at this URL: http://duckiehunt.com/.well-known/acme-challenge/%RANDOM STRING 2% ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Press Enter to Continue Step #3: Add the validation file to you website I then went to the Kudu instance of my App Service and ran: ➜ mkdir /var/www/html/.well-known/acme-challenge/ ➜ echo "%RANDOM STRING 2%" > %RANDOM STRING 1% At this point, the validation is in place and it's time to continue with Chatbot by pressing "Enter". Waiting for verification... Cleaning up challenges IMPORTANT NOTES: - Congratulations! Your certificate and chain have been saved at: /etc/letsencrypt/live/duckiehunt.com/fullchain.pem Your key file has been saved at: /etc/letsencrypt/live/duckiehunt.com/privkey.pem Your cert will expire on 2017-11-12. To obtain a new or tweaked version of this certificate in the future, simply run certbot again. To non-interactively renew all of your certificates, run "certbot renew" - If you like Certbot, please consider supporting our work by: Donating to ISRG / Let's Encrypt: https://letsencrypt.org/donate Donating to EFF: https://eff.org/donate-le Huzzah! I've now got a certificate. Time to upload. Step #4: Upload the certificate to Azure Azure has a pretty descriptive set of steps for associating a certificate to your App Service, which I was able to follow. Openssl will ask for a Password which you need to keep as you upload the cert to Azure. ➜ cd /etc/letsencrypt/live/duckiehunt.com ➜ openssl pkcs12 -export -out myserver.pfx -inkey privkey.pem -in fullchain.pem Enter Export Password: Verifying - Enter Export Password: ➜ cp myserver.pfx ~/Desktop Step #5: Bind the certificate to your App Service From here on you're ready to Bind your SSL Certificate to your App Service. I'll let Microsoft's documentation lead the way from here. https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/app-service-web/app-service-web-tutorial-custom-ssl#bind-your-ssl-certificate Step #6: Bask in doing your part to secure the internet. In summary, the process was pretty painless. I used Let'sEncrypt to create a new Certificate for my App Service for Linux by creating a file that Let'sEncrypt could use to validate I owned the site. I then encrypted that certificate to upload to Azure. Once it was uploaded, I bound that certificate to my domain and voila! A more secure Duckiehunt One bummer is that the certificate is intended to expire in 3 months instead of the industry standard of 12 months. The renewal process looks pretty easy, but that's a different blog post. --Tommy feels that he's done his part in making the world a bit safer.
· 4 min read
Fulfillment of a childhood dream.
Like most children of the 80's, I loved playing with LEGO. By mixing and matching bricks, you could physically manifest your imagination. My first LEGO set was the Blacktron - Renegade. Blacktron Renegade By following the instructions, I was able to explore space and move strange and dangerous cargo from distant planets. By moving the wings around, I was able to make the Batwing and fly around Gotham. (Well before anyone else realized that potential.) This was an immensely rewarding experience that I've carried with me through my professional career. Naturally, the toys of the child lead us to adulthood. I knew I wanted to spend my life building. Creating. Spawning new ideas. I wanted to physically manifest my ideas into structures that others would see, admire and even work/play/live in. When I learned that you could get a job doing this, I was elated. I knew this was exactly what I wanted to do. My mission in life was set. One fateful day, when I was sharing my new life mission with my Godmother she informed me: "To be an architect you have to know how to draw." Anyone who's seen me sign a check, write on a whiteboard, or even attempt to draw a square knows artistry genes were not bestowed upon me. I was crushed. My life's mission was aborted and I was unsure what to do with myself. My first drawing of the Falgout Family (I ran out of time for arms) To quote my wife: "Those are people? I thought those were windows..." I drew this I drew this. Not sure what my obsession with blue people was. That drawing is nightmare fuel for me. In High School, when Career Day came I didn't care about any session other than the local architect. As torturous as it was, I still wanted to know what it was like. All I remember was "hard work...something something...dedication". Fast forward to the last 12 months. I made an exciting and brave leap to join Microsoft, and am now a "Cloud Solution Architect". I'm an Architect. I'm a real, bonafide Architect. (I'm literally crying as I write this as I'm so overwhelmed with a sense of accomplishment.) My bricks aren't 8x8x9.6 mm, they're CPU Cores. I no longer have one toychest, I have 36 datacenter regions, spanned across the world. Thankfully, I'm not planning to give up on those plastic pieces of creativity, as I've currently got a Star Destroyer hanging from the ceiling of my man cave. And even more sets left to complete. LEGO Star Destroyer hanging from the ceiling. If I could go back and comfort my younger self during that heartbreaking moment, I'm sure I would have told him: "hard work...something something...dedication".
· 3 min read
//build 2017
//build is a developer-centric conference Microsoft hosts every year. Since I never expected to work for Microsoft, I wasn't even aware of //build. So,…
· 3 min read
Tinkering with Oracle DB in a container.
TL;DR: Size matters. After Oracle's surprise announcement of their containerization of Oracle DB, Oracle WebLogic and a few of their other core technologies, I decided to test it out for myself. (Speaking authentically, I'm leery of their commitment; however, I recognize that I work on Open Source at Microsoft, so who am I to judge?) My end-goal is to get Oracle DB 12.2 running in a container on Kubernetes inside Azure Container Service. This is Part 1 of my walkthrough from 0 to operational. Build and Verify the Container Unlike most Docker projects, Oracle does not have a public image on Docker Hub. To get started, you'll need to: Clone their Github repo Download the Oracle DB instance Run their buildDockerImage.sh from the Github Repo Start the container Clone the github repo `git clone git@github.com:oracle/docker-images.git ... Receiving objects: 100% (5643/5643), 425.77 MiB | 5.41 MiB/s, done. ` Wait...what?! 425MB?! After some sleuthing, it appears they once included the OracleLinux binaries in the git repo but have not purged them. Poor Github. I have a tremendous amount of appreciation for their architects and support engineers. Below is the SHA1 of the blob, the # of bytes of each file and the path. `git clone git@github.com:oracle/docker-images.git Cloning into 'docker-images'... remote: Counting objects: 5643, done. remote: Compressing objects: 100% (35/35), done. remote: Total 5643 (delta 12), reused 0 (delta 0), pack-reused 5607 Receiving objects: 100% (5643/5643), 425.77 MiB | 5.41 MiB/s, done. Resolving deltas: 100% (3164/3164), done. git:(master) git rev-list --objects --all \ | git cat-file --batch-check='%(objecttype) %(objectname) %(objectsize) %(rest)' \ | awk '/^blob/ {print substr($0,6)}' \ | sort --numeric-sort --key=2 | tail -7 35eda80405d711ae557905633d9f9b8d756afb94 42358832 OracleLinux/7.0/oraclelinux-7.0.tar.xz e359def3dde981199ea692bbb26c24bd37e6fd68 42765288 OracleLinux/7.1/oraclelinux-7.1.tar.xz 0956d25bcb27f804cfc37f2a519a5cfb35af0955 43951872 OracleLinux/6.8/oraclelinux-6.8-rootfs.tar.xz 6de0b5011f509e53623ab0170fbc72e8bb53b501 43953520 OracleLinux/6.9/oraclelinux-6.9-rootfs.tar.xz b05b9f4971b6d28330545fadc234eb423815dd59 47275816 OracleLinux/7.2/oraclelinux-7.2-rootfs.tar.xz 9b07a976e61ed2cf3a02173bf8c2d829977f2406 49130232 OracleLinux/7.3/oraclelinux-7.3-rootfs.tar.xz 3b7610a3df4892e9cf4f5d01eb3d55bcd3f2ad54 50369896 OracleLinux/6.7/oraclelinux-6.7-rootfs.tar.xz ` Moving right along... Download the Oracle DB instance from their website Since Oracle does not allow anyone else to distribute their software, you must go to their site, register (Larry Ellison now has my email), and download. Unfortunately, the login process does not allow me to "wget" the file and put on a remote machine, so I must download locally via browser. I chose "Oracle Database 12c Release 2" `-rw-r--r--@ 1 thfalgou staff 3.2G Apr 27 10:07 linuxx64_12201_database.zip ` Another 3.2GB. I now have an alternate version of Sir Mix A Lot's infamous song going in my head: I LIKE BIG BINARIES AND I CANNOT LIE... Moving right along... Run their buildDockerImage.sh from the Github Repo The documentation isn't explicit about where to store the downloaded image. (in my case the 'OracleDatabase/dockerfiles/12.2.0.1' directory) Now the moment of truth. From the "OracleDatabase/dockerfiles" directory, run buildDockerImage.sh `dockerfiles git:(master) time ./buildDockerImage.sh -v 12.2.0.1 -s ... Building image 'oracle/database:12.2.0.1-se2' ... Sending build context to Docker daemon 3.454 GB^M^M Step 1/16 : FROM oraclelinux:7-slim ---> 442ebf722584 ... Pages and pages of output. So much text that my iTerm buffer no longer had the initial command. ... Oracle Database Docker Image for 'se2' version 12.2.0.1 is ready to be extended: --> oracle/database:12.2.0.1-se2 Build completed in 658 seconds. ./buildDockerImage.sh -v 12.2.0.1 -s 3.68s user 8.15s system 1% cpu 10:57.49 total ` 10 Minutes later, the container is finally built. 10 minutes. 10! Perhaps I'm being overly dramatic; however, the Docker Ecosystem has lots of high expectations and one of those is rapid development and deployment through small, composable artifacts. Granted, building and deploying a new version of database is not a common occurrence; however, the process it not conducive to DevOps. That said, this is their first foray into this, so I'm still excited to see the change. `dockerfiles git:(master) docker images oracle/database 12.2.0.1-se2 f788cd5b4b9d 4 minutes ago 14.8 GB oraclelinux 7-slim 442ebf722584 6 days ago 114 MB fedora latest 15895ef0b3b2 7 days ago 231 MB microsoft/mssql-server-linux latest 7b1c26822d97 7 days ago 1.35 GB nginx latest 5766334bdaa0 3 weeks ago 183 MB ubuntu latest 0ef2e08ed3fa 8 weeks ago 130 MB ... ` 14GB? I take that back. Start the container Let's get the party started... `dockerfiles git:(master) docker run --name oracledb -p 1521:1521 -p 5500:5500 oracle/database:12.2.0.1-se2 ORACLE PASSWORD FOR SYS, SYSTEM AND PDBADMIN: LSNRCTL for Linux: Version 12.2.0.1.0 - Production on 28-APR-2017 03:21:48 Copyright (c) 1991, 2016, Oracle. All rights reserved. Starting /opt/oracle/product/12.2.0.1/dbhome_1/bin/tnslsnr: please wait... TNSLSNR for Linux: Version 12.2.0.1.0 - Production System parameter file is /opt/oracle/product/12.2.0.1/dbhome_1/network/admin/listener.ora Log messages written to /opt/oracle/diag/tnslsnr/91c68ac2b2bf/listener/alert/log.xml Listening on: (DESCRIPTION=(ADDRESS=(PROTOCOL=ipc)(KEY=EXTPROC1))) Listening on: (DESCRIPTION=(ADDRESS=(PROTOCOL=tcp)(HOST=0.0.0.0)(PORT=1521))) ... Copying database files 1% complete ... ` Huzzah! After about 9 minutes, it's finally started! Let's test it! `~ docker exec -ti oracledb sqlplus pdbadmin@ORCLPDB1 SQL*Plus: Release 12.2.0.1.0 Production on Fri Apr 28 03:58:10 2017 Copyright (c) 1982, 2016, Oracle. All rights reserved. Enter password: Connected to: Oracle Database 12c Standard Edition Release 12.2.0.1.0 - 64bit Production SQL> ` We're in!!! It worked! It is at this point that I realize I've already gone through 2 drams of Aberlour and I should probably stop for the night. Provided there is enough interest (and whiskey), I'll write-up Step 2 of getting this running on Kubernetes in ACS. As for now, I should stop while the world is only mildly spinning. NOTE 1: If the database auto-generates a password with a "/" in it, I've found it doesn't work. You can change that by running: docker exec ./setPassword.sh NOTE 2: If you run this multiple times, make sure to run "docker system prune" as it fills up your disk fast. On my 3rd try, I hit the following error, even with lots of space on my disk. ` The location specified for 'Fast Recovery Area Location' has insufficient free space. CAUSE: Only (9,793MB) free space is available on the location (/opt/oracle/oradata/fast_recovery_area/ORCLCDB/). ACTION: Choose a 'Fast Recovery Area Location' that has enough space (minimum of (12,780MB)) or free up space on the specified location. ` NOTE 3: It looks like everyone uses Docker now...
· 5 min read
DockerCon 2017
After hearing about it for years, I was fortunate enough to attend DockerCon this time around. Since joining Microsoft as a Open Source Technical…
· 5 min read
I work for Microsoft?!
Laziness, Impatience, Hubris The great Larry Wall claims that these are the three great virtues of a great programmer. And I whole heartedly agree. However, If I were to propose three virtues, they’d be: Inquisitiveness, Acceptance, and Stubbornness. My name is Tommy Falgout, I’m a new employee at Microsoft and I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know .NET. Or Azure. I don’t own a Windows Phone. Heck, the last Windows OS I “owned†was XP. What I do have is ~20 years of experience in *nix and Open Source software development. I helped develop the original SMS implementation for GSM, back when phones were only meant for voice. I wrote telecom automation systems in Perl, PHP and MySQL 3.x. I then worked at Yahoo for 9 years where I expanded my brain to build their live events engine to broadcast Obama’s Inauguration, the Royal Wedding and the NFL games (Yahoo used to own NFL streaming rights in the 2000’s) I migrated to Yahoo’s Infrastructure database which was the duct tape keeping everything together and integrated. As a Technical Evangelist, I’m building upon all that experience as a foundation for this new opportunity. To take Azure to the next level. The thing is...I don’t know how to Azure yet. But that’s the point of this blog. To detail my findings and explore the union of Open Source and Azure. This will be a dumping ground and lesson’s learned. I’m a big fan of transparency and learning from other people’s mistakes. My hope is that you can learn from mine. Now to go learn how not to mangle my ARM.
· 2 min read
Reflections in the Mirror
I've decided to journal again, not because I need something else to do (Father, Husband, Principal Developer @ Yahoo, Scrum Master, President and Founder of DFW Trebuchet, Team Lead for "Trey Bouchet"), but because I've lost focus. I've learned that my ambition is often greater than my common sense. While this helps forward my goals, the overuse of my greatest strength soon becomes my greatest weakness. And as I write, erase and re-write these words, it helps me search deeper into myself for my true intent. And I think that's what I'm really searching for. Similar to how artists chip away a perfectly good stone to release the sculpture underneath, I think it's time for me to shed those internal monologues and responsibilities that no longer reflect me. I've taken over many responsibilities because I have a vision for how great the endgame will be (DFW Trebuchet, various work projects); however, over time those same passions become a burden as my role devolves from leader to lynchpin. And this is where I continue to work on turning the breakdown to a breakthrough. I'm not sure what it will take, or even how long. However, I'm sure that it will involve me reaching out to my community and garnering their support. Most likely by helping me pull my head out of my ass. Snoopykiss is looking to get his groove back.
· 2 min read
To our Friends, Family and those in between,
This is the time of year I electronically dust off the addresses of friends and acquaintances, old and new, and ask myself over a cup of hot chocolate, "Do they still live there? How much is postage these days? Do I even know how to write something that isn't my signature? This is to overwhelming. Maybe I'll do it next year." This is also where we'd have a picture of our family in front of a christmas tree showing how big Kara has grown and with a message about how great this year has been. Fortunately, our lives have been so blessed that one picture couldn't possibly summarize everything that we've experienced this year. So, I present to you this e-essay/card where you can click on links so we both reminisce on what's happened to the Falgout Family in 2011. Early on, I reconnected with my family through my long forgotten Falgout family tradition of a bonfire on NYE, as well as celebrating Kara's birthday in our new Falgout family tradition: Cupcakes! We also got to meet Kara's namesake celebrity, Katee Sackhoff. And a few other celebrities! Kathy and I also had a joint birthday celebration which resulted in the best surprise of my 35 years on this planet and an amazing party. But that's not to say life doesn't have its falls, with screams of laughter, fear and excitement. In fact, one of my favorite accomplishments of the year was the Trebuchet Contest. Which also had it's own falls, laughter, fear and excitement. Somewhere mixed in all this was a trip to Italy, which I had promised Kathy for many years. And we discovered that even thousands of miles away, international cultures have more in common than you think. For the first time, since moving into the Plano, we participated in Halloween. Verdict: Cute! I also picked up bowling, which I found out I can be quite good at if I put my mind to it (read: Don't drink as much). And who in Dallas could forget the Mavericks finally winning the NBA Championship! This year was also a resurgence in our friend's fertility! 12 of our friends are on their way to starting their own families this year. (I sometimes think of ourselves as the Baby Making Hipsters of our friend's circle.) Looking back, it's amazing to see all that has happened this year. It's an extremely blessed and fortunate life. And it's enriched by all of our friends and family which support and encourage us and our wacky lifestyle. Thanks and here's to outliving the Mayan's expiration in 2012! -Tommy, Kathy and Kara Falgout
LEGO Star Destroyer Hanging
A long, long time ago, LEGO announced their new Collectors Star Destroyer. It was their largest set at the time and I being a long time LEGO maniac, I had to have it. It took many weeks to build, and has been one of my prize possessions which I've flaunted even more than my hot tub. Friends, relationships and other toys have come and gone, but ol'Desty has always been around. Now that I have a wife and kid, space has become constrained, and I've had to become creative in my toy storage. After mulling it around, I realized the best for Ol'Desty was to prominently display her, hanging from the ceiling. Unfortunately, after some researching the only useful bit of information I found was "use fishing wire". I could do better than that. To all my friends who have gotten this far, you can stop reading as the rest will bore you to tiny little brick pieces. To all of the LEGO enthusiasts, on with the gory details! One of the most fascinating parts of trying to hang the LEGO Star Destroyer (LSD) was taking it apart and seeing how 9 years of being on display has affected the structure. If you've built an LSD before, you know that the fuselage is made of four attached triangles and most of the weight settles on the last two-thirds of the structure. You also probably also know that it's an extremely fragile set, held together by magnets. Great idea, but for me, the bottom panels kept falling off all too often. In the pictures, you can see how the center beams have warped over time, bowing up to 4 3/4" from the ground (between the two stands) and sagging to 4" from the ground (at the tip). On my first attempt, I tried to cradle the LSD by wrapping fishing wire around the entire structure, but that caused it to pinch the panels some places and bow out in others. After a few other experiments with the LSD over a generous glass of whiskey and coke, I found my solution. I removed all 4 pieces of panelling and tied one long piece of fishing wire into strategic weight points on the triangle frame, using the peg holes of the middle long bricks to wrap the fishing wire around. I then re-attached the panels and fed the fishing wire between the horizontal center crevice. This approach caused the least amount of structural and functional disruption and allowed it to balance right on it's widthwise center of gravity. I played around with different locations along the frame and finally found a proper equilibrium (see pics). When hanging, my intent was to tilt the LSD slightly forward so that as you enter the room, a clear view of all of the beautiful deals LEGO put into the model are visible. Along with some more adjustments to the weight distribution, I was able to get the angle I wanted. Google Sketchup was a great way to plan out exactly where to drill for the ceiling hooks. It also allows me to make some planned adjustments for upcoming LEGO Goodness It required two people to hoist the LSD up, adjust the tension on the wires and tie off the ends. Once it was all settled and angled properly, the rear wires were significantly tighter than the front, but I believe that this is unavoidable due to the LSD's weight distribution. For the rest of the evening, I just sat there, basking at it's beauty and glowing as it was inspiring to see it hovering ever so menacingly there, and proud of my accomplishment and DIY prowess. Materials: Fishing Wire (Sporting goods store) 3 ceiling plant hooks Whiskey, or libation of choice if so desired. (For focusing your LEGO and Engineering Chi) Electric Drill (for pre-drilling the holes in the ceiling) patience Pics: Example of LSD bowing after 9 years Rear support with fishing wire Mid support with fishing wire Front Support Supports w/o bottom panel Google Sketchup
· 4 min read
Techno-Geek-arama
Jason, Neil and I were invited to speak at the PHP track for the Tulsa Tech Fest It made for a fun road trip as well as a really good lesson learned for trying to code while presenting. In short: Don't. Too many things can go wrong and the unexpected will always happen. The presentation I gave on MySQL Scaling and Growth can be found here. Thanks to everyone for the support and feedback provided.
· 1 min read
I'm 33!
Do we get special presents for palindrome years? 32 was a good year. Got married, went to Jamaica, moved into a kickass position inside Yahoo!, duckiehunt.com has taken off. I'm not sure what 33 will hold, but if the amount of facebook notifications I got wishing me a Happy Birthday, then it will probably be one of much celebration and appreciation with friends. P.S. My B-day gift from Kathy is helicopter lessons. Bad Ass.
· 1 min read
MySQL Scaling and Me
Yesterday, I did something I do only about 2-3 times a year, but would like to do more. I lead a Tech Talk which went very well. It was a discussion on how to scale MySQL so that you can support 10-100x your current traffic load. Adding more webservers is a non-trivial task, but I tell ya, you've got to know your stuff to make sure that your Databases are able to handle a huge traffic onslaught. I also have to thank Dave Stokes and Jason Ragsdale for their support throughout the talk. Here's the link to the talk I presented. --Snoopykiss feels geeky. And proud.
· 1 min read
Ummm...
I don't have anything special to say. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
· 1 min read
If I were to have a restaurant
I attended a friend's Anniv. of the Repeal of Prohibition party on Friday. It was awesome with all of the costumes, libations, and even a secret password which you had to give though a sliding peephole to boot. We were reminicing about the Food and Spirits party when a friend told me that if I were to open a restaurant it would need to be named 'Nom nom nom yarr!'. This would of course be hugely successful and need to be followed up with other specialities, similar to the Papa's brand. We would have the French: Tres nom and it's sister Qui est ton nom? The Mexican: Los Nomos The Asian: Om Nom Nom The Indian: Om Om Om --Snoopykiss might be onto something here.
Food & Spirits 6
6 years is a long time to keep anything going. Especially an annual event. True, by the time the next year rolls around, you've forgotten how much work it was, but when you've got something like the Food & Spirits, it becomes with it each time. I learned some interesting things this time around: My friends are incredibly diverse. Two of them ran out to get a breaker for the hot tub @ 9:45 and installed it themselves. My wife is mischievous. When said hot tub failed for the last time, and people got in anyways. She offered a bottle of Jamaican rum to the person who would last the longest. No jets. No heater. It was ~30 degrees outside. Neil won by lasting for 3 hours. You can't get rid of alcohol by throwing a party. You just accumulate more. My friends are willing to drive 8+ hours just to come to the party. We had visitors from Kansas City, Tulsa and Austin. Just for this soiree. Congrats to the winners! This year, we settled ties by having a "Duck Off". (Pick random duck with a number on it. Highest number wins. Pure awesome.) This is the point where I would say that I can't wait till next year. But I'm hoping to have a new floor by then. That way I'm not embarrassed by statements like, "New Rule: If you make a stain. You have to sign it." Till next year! --Snoopykiss
Flash Drives
On Monday, for the first time ever, I bought a flash drive. Considering that I also still don't have a DVD burner, many of my friends could consider this as being "behind the times". Instead, I think of this as being far ahead of the times. I've never needed one. Anything small enough to fit on one could be emailed and anything bigger than that could be found on a torrent. I found that people usually used them to share Word Docs, MP3's and/or pr0n. If you were on a computer that had those, you were probably already close enough to email them. The reason I finally caved and got one was for more of my "ahead of the curve" obsession. Boxee (boxee.tv) is my new toy. I've been able to convert an Apple TV from a crippled iTunes box to an internet multimedia playhouse. Hulu, last.fm, Comedy Central and soon Netflix will all be available from one box. The plan is to also rip our movies to disk so that we no longer have to deal with disks anymore. The world is moving to streaming video. And I like it. --Snoopykiss is an early adapter. It can be expensive. But it sure is fun.
· 2 min read
Yup!
Yes. I'm married. It happened. It's become obvious to me that a number of people still relate to me as my old party/bachelor-esque lifestyle. "I thought you'd never marry." "Last chance. I've got the car running if you want to bolt." "I was starting to wonder about you." -- My Dad. "Wha-wha-what? Can you back up 3 sentences?" I don't think of it as much as no longer having the wild and crazy parties. I think of it as having found someone whose company I enjoy in between the "New and (Mostly) Family Friendly Soirees". She's quite a gal. Anyone who's met her can attest to it. Anyone who hasn't can probably imagine since she's putting up with me. -- Snoopykiss now has a ring. But keeps forgetting it. P.S. When we came back from the honeymoon, some friends invaded our house with ~1000 duckies. It was awesome. Except for the one under the pillow. I'll get you back, Neil. PICS! Honeymoon Duckie Invasion Wedding
...and we're back.
I truly have some of the most amazing friends. I don't know really know what I would have done without them. And now that I've discovered what they've done to the house while I was gone, I'm really not sure what to do with them! Duckies. Duckies EVERYWHERE! 300 of them on the bed, about another 100-200 at work. Inside the cabinets, underneath pillows, in the shoe cubby, etc. There's supposed to be ~1000 total, I figure that I'll still be finding them till 2012. Pics forthcoming.
· 1 min read
Still got it.
For Kathy's Birthday, we went to see Eddie Izzard. I was concerned since I heard that he wasn't as funny outside of his original attire (read: In a dress), but it was a sold-out show and those can only mean good things, right? J.F.K. Charles Darwin Ducks Wikipedia No warm-up comedian. No break. Just laughing till the jam hit the roof. Fantastic.
Wedding Site!
The updates...they are a-flowing. I've created a Wedding Website to answer all of your questions. Â Like when we actually decide on a date, color and style. I think that my ideas for having a huge raver party complete with glowsticks has been properly shot down. Â I'll see if there's a way I can sneak in the midget tho.
'bout Damn Time
No big hooplah. No major fanfare. Hell, it was about 3 weeks after it happened before I told anyone. Â Most people still don't know. Katherine Denise Falgout. Â That's going to sound funny. Â (Thomas Milton Carter?) Lee, if you're reading this, you're the best man. Â If you call me back. Â Otherwise taking applications/bribes.Â
I'm a survivor
Another company, another round of layoffs. And I'm still here. Regarding all of the speculation of getting bought out from MS, News Corp and who knows who else, the only one that sparks my interest is Apple. That would be fun, I would totally love to see the two rise up together and form an alliance that would bring users exactly what they're looking for with the greatest of ease and with a beautiful interface. Although the purple might clash with brushed steel, I'm sure that Yang and Jobs can work that out. On a side note: Kitties!!!!!! There's Enara and Geroge / Motorboat / Squid. They're a bunch of fun and are enjoying romping around the house and on my abdomen. Even when I'm asleep. They're beautiful. Come check them out! --Snoopykiss just saw a Cowboy Mouth concert and is truly Glad to Be Alive.
· 1 min read
Happy Holidays!
and Me!
· 1 min read
That's my car!
Here's a picture of my car, on Google Maps, behind the old Yahoo Building in Deep Ellum. Wheee! And for more wackiness: Drunk monkeys! I also want to thank everyone for your support through the craziness/adversity I was facing. And despite the way it was worded, it wasn't all of DSDS that was attacking me, just one person. One person who thinks that I would be the instrument of Dallas' downfall. What's funny, is that I almost believed him. -- Snoopykiss knows that cake is a lie.
In spite of adversity
They make movies about people fighting for what they believe in. There's usually some battle anthem with an emotional score and actors playing out well defined parts. Maybe someone dies or suffers a personal injury. And you often to get watch it from the comfort of your home and feel inspired to do something...anything. And have that thing be something that brings out a new beginning. But then you sneeze and the feeling goes away. I've sneezed many times, but this time I held my nose and the feeling lingered. I've found that the swing dancers of Dallas are begging for something new. Something outside of the same musical rotation which has been played for the past few years. A challenge. I decided to present to the Dallas Swing Dance Society board a proposition of creating a new dance opportunity. I had hoped to write a piece of paper and then present it to the Board and see what happens. Instead, I got a phone call from one of the leading figures of the dance scene telling me that the Board would not accept my idea, telling me that I associate with people who they do not respect as human beings, that if I "Fuck this up" (i.e. bring a bad reputation to Dallas), then they "won't know me anymore", and that DSDS would not have anything to do with me anymore. Needless to say, I was quite hurt by the attack. To the point that I planned on withdrawing my proposal. However, with the support of other dancers, they helped me get back on track and take the presentation to the board. A proposal which was very well received and had a lot of support. Nothing is finalized, but words cannot express how much of a personal victory this has been for me. In spite of the verbal beating I took, I was able to say, "Fuck it. This is something I believe in. Something the community will directly benefit from. I'm not going to let someone tear me down from it." To those who supported me: Thanks, from me and everyone who will benefit from this in the future.
· 2 min read
Air Guitar Champ
Air Guitar Champ Originally uploaded by Strange Muse Air Guitar Nation. Simply a beautiful movie about the spirit of humanity through the hidden bedroom…
I want to live everywhere.
THAT bridge Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss Every time I come back from Denver, I rave about how I want to move there. After Germany, it was the same…
No Pant Muse
It's dang near impossible to go two years of living without noticing some changes to your habits/lifestyle. Oddly enough, I realized one of these updates is the deep desire to live a life free of pants and the restrictions they impose. I believe in every man's right to drop trow and say, "I'm sick and tired of these things! I have long enough, tolerated the inequities of my balls stuck on right! Or your left, if your left-balled. Or even if you're ambi-sac-trous. Regardless! We should not have to deal with the tyrannies of britches!" And then I got to wonder, where did this newfound Trouser Rebellion come from? The closest I could find was that it was around the same time I met Kathy. Applying the same "Pirates Cause Global Warming" logic, I knew that she must be the cause. Case Closed. P.S. Snoopykiss has jury duty tomorrow. And you know what? He'd rather be working.
· 1 min read
All Good Things...
Today, I start my new job at Yahoo! I'm nervous. I'm excitied. I'm anxious. I'm happy. I'm scared. I want to make an impact. My biggest concern for working at such a large company is that I'll just be a tiny cog in a world-wide contraption. But as in most of my live endeavors, I refuse to adventure into this as a just a spectator. Maybe I've set my dreams too high. I don't care. I'm out there to make a difference, and I believe I've chosen the right company to facilitate that. --Snoopykiss is energized and is ready to make the Internet a better place! (After he fills out 20 HR documents)
· 1 min read
Of good times, friends and dances.
Rollercoaster rides happen all the time in life. I've gotten to the point where I can see mine coming, so I have some time to either tense up, or throw my hands up in the air and go Wheeeeeeee!!!! Getting laid off the day I came back from work was a shock to my timeframe, but completely expected. I have once again, left a company with a stable application that will make/save them millions of dollars. My thanks? Enough good karma to last me through an apocalypse or two and an even better job. This time, I'm going to Yahoo! YahooooooOOOOOOooOO! My business cards will say "Technical Yahoo", which is about as true to life as it gets on paper for me. For my time off, I'm getting my road trip and dancing in by hanging out in Denver for a week. At the same time, learning about the wonderful effects of high-altitude and alcohol. If I don't move to Germany, let's hope I make it out here. -- Snoopykiss is kinda embarrassed it only takes one Smirnoff Ice up here. Kinda.
Standards
When you go outside your routine, you often expect to see new ways of doing things. However, when you embark on a journey to completely remove yourself from everything you've grown accustomed to, you learn that the standards which you've held to and which you have been held to, are just part of your environment. Example: To have a family and kids, you should get married. 4 weeks of vacation is a lot. Racism is pervasive. French are rude. Hitchhiking is unsafe. Planes rides are more expensive than trains. Trains and buses are for low-class travel. You can't eat fried food every day and lose weight. Arabs hate America. These were all ideas and standards I had hardwired into my brain that I believed before I this trip. Everyone of them was proven wrong. While I'm willing to believe that meeting the hospitable Frenchies was a fluke, I don't believe that any of these I listed are "exceptions that prove the rules". These are all ways we have grown up to believe, because America and it's amazing citizens live in a bubble! It's time to challenge that which we've always accepted to be true. I invite everyone to give up on the idea that it "HAS TO BE THIS WAY". I believe that we think we know everything already and we've given up on one of the most important questions of our lives: Why? May 16th, on my plane back to Dallas. Sad that my trip is over. Happy that my new life has begun.
Yea Stuttgart! I made it!
After traveling from country to country, mostly staying in the same location for only 1 night, it's amazing how peaceful familiarity can be. It doesn't matter that you sleep on a leaky air-mattress, or that it's with a cousin you haven't seen in about 2 decades, and his wife and his good friend who you've never met before. It's comforting because it's family. While working for his restaurant, I also had no problem pitching in every change I got. Assemble a grill. Make a peanut sauce for 150 people. Setup a room for a banquet. Come up with a Panini menu item (one of my favorites). Why? As I told Cousin Bill, "Because blood works harder than money." Lydia, Bill's wife, wisked me around Stuttgart on my last day and we ran into one of her Louisiana friends. Not a Coonass, mind you, as she lived too far north, but still an interesting person nonetheless. I also found out that one of Lydia's cousins is the lead singer of Pink Martini. And apparently, she is as beautiful as her voice; such that one of her German female friends is quoted as saying, "I think I'm turning Lesb-ish." For dinner, we were served by a Gay Asian waiter, speaking German. Swing Heil, indeed. May 16th, in the Gatwick (London) Airport, realizing that I haven't journaled in a while.
Sometimes, France Piss Me Off
If you want to see a beautiful city with centuries of culture and history, Paris is your place. Last night, Kathy and I went to see the Eiffel Tower at night and were surprised with a colorful lights display of the tower as well. I even gave in and splurged on a French meal. It was actually good, but not as good as ours. We went to sleep, present to the undeniable romance of the city. However, the next morning was filled with anxiety as we body-checked a local, jump turnstiles, and snook on the train because the line to get our free tickets to the airport was too long and only one person working the entire booth. I finally saw Kathy to her flight out and even wept to myself after she was gone. (Go ahead...Say it. Awwwwwwwwwww.) I then headed off to find a train to Stuttgart to meet up with my Cousin again. Even though my Eurorail book told me that there's a train from Paris to Stuttart at 6PM, the French wouldn't give me the tickets for it as they said the route wasn't there. This was after getting passed around to 3 different booths. I then tried to tell my Cousin to tell him that I wouldn't be getting there till midnight, but none of their Wireless Access Points would let me create a new account. So I tried the phone booth, but had so many problems dialing his number that my credit card got a "Denied" error. I finally got on the train to Stuttgart, but I found out that the section of the train I was in wasn't going where I wanted. I had to go about 10 cars up. Sometimes paranoia pays off, who knows where I'd be otherwise. But please, don't get me wrong. France is a great place, and the Paris Metro is one of the worlds most efficient. But the rest of it is like trying to get your Driver's License at the DMV. "You've filled out the wrong paper. Go over there, fill out the Red form with the Blue top and then get in line D." But in a foreign language I haven't used in 5+ years. May 5th, on a train from Paris to Stuttgart. I hope.
Losing your Girlfriend
As they say, breaking up is hard to do. But one thing that's worse than losing your significant other is losing your significant other in Paris. Thankfully, after checking my email at the airport and getting the correct airline, and therefore the correct Terminal, I found a very relived Kathy and all was well. We then embarked on a whirlwind tour of Paris, where I introduced her to one of my favorite places and foods on the planet. Paul's and their Tart Citron (lemon tart). We've also stopped for Croissants and Pain au Chocolates (like a croissant, but with chocolate inside. Don't even bother trying to imagine how good it would taste, until you get to Paris. Our feeble minds can't come close to it's buttery, chocolate-y goodness.) Brief Rant: Outside of their pastries, I can't stand most French food. I think their meals are over-complicated and nothing on their menus are even remotely interesting to me. Paris was where I learned about the deliciousness of Indian food. And I think that's more ironic than anything Alanis Morissette had to talk about. Right as we got to the Eiffel Tower, it rained, so we went to the hotel and crashed. Next morning, more croissants, pain au chcolates, and Eiffel Tower. Unfortunately, I didn't have the forethought for a corkscrew, so our Picnic had to wait. We then did some train hopping and after changing my mind about 3 times we planted ourselves in the peaceful city of Portonson, 9km from Mont St. Michel. Due to some amazing luck, we found a small house in a camping grounds with a petting zoo, heated pool, wireless internet and a porch facing the sunset for an inexplicably low price. All this, and a bottle opener! So, we had our picnic while watching the sun set over the French countryside. C'est magnifique! After sunset, more rain. The next morning we set off for Mont St. Michel au velo (on bikes). It was a superb journey that ended with sheep and the beautiful "island". We explored it for a while and then decided to join the rest of the Frenchies and walk onto the sand during the low tide. We had a lot of fun getting our feet dirty in the quicksand. And then, more rain. Another Brief Rant: The French take off for everything. They seem to love not working as much as their wine. The abbey of Mont. St. Michel was closed because the 1st of May is a bank holiday. To put it in perspective, the devout Catholic country takes off for May Day, originally a Pagan Holiday. We then jumped off to Switzerland and as many times as I've been here, I always see something completely new. This time we spent some time in one of Europe's largest Transport museums, were you got to explore the entire place on scooters. We then migrated to the land I plan to retire and die at, Interlaken, Switzerland. We went to the top of Schliterhorn, where there was a revolving restaurant featured in 007's "Her Majesty's Service". We then came to some of the most amazing waterfalls I've ever witnessed. They're glacial waterfalls that etched themselves through the caves of a mountain. At night, there was a beautiful fireworks show that had something to do with the economy. It's good to be Swiss. They seem to have it all. The beautiful landscapes, people, waterfalls, and the chocolate. Oh dear lord, the chocolate. May 5th, on a train from Lausanne to Paris
Italian Fatigue
Cinque Terra deserves all of the underground praise that it gets. It's 5 coastal cities, originally settled by monks, which provide stunning views of the Mediterranean Sea. And if you know anything about European monks, they were the original "Kings of the Hill". I got to Monterosso, the first of the Five Cities, and decided to do some exploring. And using my trusty axiom, "When in Europe, always go up." I came across a very old cathedral and a spooky graveyard. Normally, I'm a huge fan of graveyards, but since it was close to midnight and I started reading Bram Stoker's "Dracula" that day, I high-tailed it back to the main city. You can jump across each of the cities by either train, boat, or a hefty hike. Being adventurous, I woke up the next morning ready to hike my way through this. 2 hours, over 400 vertical feet of staircases later, and only one trail completed, I committed the train schedules to memory. Each of the towns retain their local dignity and charm, while the tourist become part of the backdrop, and just provide an excuse to open up more restaurants. It was intriguing to quickly notice the difference between the Italian and the American tourist. Even though they were hiking up a mountain, the Italians still maintained their dignity and fashion with their larger than Texas white belts and signature oversized sunglasses. They were hiking, and dammit, they were going to look good doing it too. The Americans? We looked like Wizards trying to be muggles. As I write this, my legs are weary, but they only have a short time to recuperate as I'm meeting up with Kathy in Paris tomorrow morning. I picked up a bottle of local white wine and we're going to have a picnic near the Eiffel Tower. Who said Coonasses can't be romantic? April 28th, on a train from Genova to Milano.
Busted Dreams
I love Legos. I've never stopped loving Legos. On the hypothetical deserted island, I'd have a crate full of Legos. In fact, it's pretty disappointing for me that on this trip yet, I haven't been to LegoLand yet. But this story isn't about Legos. It's about how playing with Legos all the time inspired me to grow up into an Architect. But with one careful sentence, that dream bubble was popped as I was told, "You need to know how to draw." Trust me when I say that my camels resembled a bowl of asparagus more than any creature, that even might have ever lived. It was from this moment, that I gave up on becoming an architect. Besides, a software architect has just as much fun and it pays better. However, my burning flame to create was never completely put out. Recently, with the help of Kathy, I've discovered my passion for food. I've even gone far enough to create dishes that have their own names like "Coonass Chicken and Taters". So, when I found out that a cousin of mine, living in Stuttgart, Germany is opening up his own restaurant, I jumped on the opportunity to be put to work and learn some of the trade. My cousin, Bill Butler is an outstanding person. While his presence can be intimidating at first (he served in Afghanistan, taller than me and strong build), he's takes care of his employees and has earned the respect of everyone there. It's a sizable kitchen on a military base. All of the customers are in the Service, or family of someone who is. So, of course, all of the bartenders are young, cute, buxom girls. I tell ya, the guy knows how to run a business. He's also supported by his great wife Lydia and his childhood buddy Brian who all live together in the same place who all put in a lot of effort into the business. In the kitchen, I listened to about 50 different stories from the 76 year old black man, who's only answers to 2 names. T and Mr. T. In the few hours I got to spend next to him, I learned enough about cooking to keep my brain full for days. I worked for about 12 hours and loved it. I learned a lot, assembled a grill, made a Thai peanut sauce for 150 people, chatted with some great people, was in the company of Americans, and got paid with alcohol. Which made getting up the next morning all the harder to leave for Cinque Terra. I haven't decided yet, but I'm thinking of coming back here once my rail pass ends. Although, the thought of working harder during my vacation, than I do back home does make it a tough decision. And the fact that you come home from the restaurant hungry, makes it even more confusing. I think my friend's Greg's shirt sums it up the best: Indecision is the key to flexibility. Back to Legos. As I matured and cooked more, I entertained the thought of opening my own restaurant. But after seeing everything that goes into it, I believe that bubble has popped once again. But that's ok. I love what I do, and I now have developed an strong respect for those who chose that path. And the path I choose for myself now leads me to Cinque Terra. And a Panini. April 27th, on a train from Zurich, Switzerland to Milano, Italy.
German Pigeonholes
As you can imagine, Germans are quite concerned with their image. Their BMW and Mercedes-Benz are beautiful pieces of machinery that are known for their style and precision. Many Germans are also frustrated with one of the typecasts. But it's not what you're thinking. You can't do a tour without here without touching some piece of Nazi, WWI or WWII past. Strangely enough, there are still some historic locations which has a Swastika-ish mark a door or someplace hidden. But even those are being removed as part of a strong image reconstruction by the gov't and the people. But no matter how much they work, they will never be able to get rid of the Bavarian stereotype of Leiderhosen, Bratwurst and Beer. It's Munich, the capital of Bavaria, a South-East region, that has given Germany it's festive spirit, world-renouned beer, and funky pants. And as joyous as the people are, and as beautiful the beer gardens are (which don't seem to be as much of a garden, but more of a huge picnic area to keep the drunks together), and as tasty the food is, if you talk to most Germans, and ask they why they don't wear the funny clothing, they'll roll their eyes and think to themselves, "Good Lord, not again". Or whatever that would be in German. It was here that Octoberbest was started as part of a wedding ceremony, which took on a life of it's own as an anniversary party, and is now celebrated world-wide. I wonder if I can do the same with my Food and Spirits Party. I was adventurous and determined enough to try a radler, a Bavarian concoction of beer and either soda or lemonade. But my efforts backfired as I think I offended the entire bar when I turned it down all 3 of the hefty samples that was poured for me. I'm not sure if they threw the rest away (which is a sacrilege) as I sunk my head in shame as one guy behind the bar shouted, "But Bavaria Beer is the best!" Yes, sir. Even I'm confused why this Texan just can't get the taste of beer. I've been Smirnoff Ice free for over 1 month. I thought that would help. I also met up with a fellow Louisianian, who was one of the tour guides for Mike's Bike Tour, which I highly recommend if you get the chance.
Flipping Hamburgers in Sweden
I went to this fast food burger joint called Max. I only saw women behind the counter, and they were all gorgeous. The surreal thing was that it was seriously like walking into the middle of a porn movie. It's not typical to see model-esque women like that flipping burgers. Strangely enough, I haven't had any Swedish meatballs. I haven't even seen any for sale! An no, that's not an euphemism. I've spent the past 24 hours exploring Stockholm with two Pakistani guys who have their own business over there. It was amazing to chat with them about the difference between the way Pakistan is really like, and the media projection. They also showed me some beautiful mountain scenery of back home. I also learned a lot about the Muslim religion and how, just like Christianity, the fundamental message is about love, but there's a bunch of extremist which ruin it for the rest. April 23rd, 10:10PM in a Hostel in Stockholm
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Now I don't feel as bad about 2 years.
In talking to the Sweed in my night sleeper, I found out some very interesting factoids about Swedish couplehood. We talked for a while and he mentioned his wife. And a bit later, he mentioned his girlfriend. Ah ha! So the Sweeds DO get to have it all. The beautiful scenery, the beautiful women, and multiples of each! But no. He called her his wife because they've been together for 13 years and have 3 kids together. But they're not married. All of this is common around here. He asked her about marriage one time, but she gave him a very strange look and he dropped the subject. Many times, couples will get married after 25 years as an excuse to have a party. I swear..blondes do have more fun. I also told him about how the Americans worship the Swedish women, and were they really that beautiful? His response: "We don't deserve them." So far, I think he's right. April 22nd, 1:49PM on a Swedish Train to some city that I still can't pronounce or spell correctly.
All Aboard...the Night Train!
After spending the night with my newfound Dutch friend, Henk, I learned how perfect Ikea fits into the European home. Amsterdam is a beautiful and decadent city with sightseeing in the morning for the grey-hairs and enough sex toys and shops to make my mom blush. Not that it would take much. Speaking of Momma Falgout, I met up with her, Uncle Bill and Aunt Bobby in Amsterdam and we were off to the Van Gogh museum, Anne Frank house, mini-boat tour and the always International, Hard Rock Cafe. They just finished an Old People's Cruise seeing the blooming Tulips. Now before you wonder why you'd cross-country travel just to see flowers, trust me. Even I was impressed by these flowers. This coming from someone who won't grow anything unless you can eat it. We stayed in the Victoria Hotel, a former Gestapo HQ, and woke up at the butt-crack-early time of 6AM for our personalized tour by Sergio, one of my new favorite people. He entertained us as he took us around the Rembrandt gardens, one of the oldest windmills (1637), the Peace Palace, the Boobie Bridge, the Clogs and Cheese store, and a restaurant where we tasted raw herring. Tasty, but disgusting texture. He also tried picking up a few women for me, but I told him I had a girlfriend. He just smiled in way that could mean many different things in a country where prostitution is legal. And he did this, all the while sounding like a cross between Borat and Fernando from the Grand Theft Auto game. As soon as we got back, I jumped on a night train to Copenhagen where I met up with some Vancouverites and a Sweed. Hopefully, the rocking back and forth of the train will give me a good nights sleep opposed to rolling off the top bunk. I'm still feeling ill, but I refuse to let the sickness win...even though when I blow my nose, it looks like a leprechaun died inside me. I'll get him all out. Maybe I just need to drink more. April 22nd, 9:14AM, on the tail end of the Night Train to Copenhagen.
Berlin Bug
As is common with many exchanges, I walked out of it with a smile on my face and sick the day after. I was glad to get out of London, quick trip to Paris and then off to Berlin. Berlin is a beautiful city that has worked very hard to remove the dark scar of Wars long past. And it's done a fantastic job. I hobbled my way to a bike tour around Berlin in the morning only to find out that our guide was sick and hospitalized. Most of us waiting around went our separate ways, but me and this guy from S. Korea walked around and chatted. He used to be in the Korean Military and after some discussion about my favorite Korean movie (Attack the Gas Station), he actually has done PAGOOO!!! It's been validated! This actually does happen! He had to stick his hands behind his back, and then balance himself using only his head and the tips of his toes with his butt in the air, making a perfect upside-down V. Try this at home. I'm sure you'll be amazed at how difficult it really is. Afterwards, we parted as I went back to the hostel, crawled into my top bunk and crashed for about 12 hours. When I crawled down, I woke up the person below me, I apologized and realized, it was the same Korean guy from yesterday. Crazy! We laughed about this and then headed back out to the bike tour area again for another chance. It was lead by a spunky Sweed who told us the story of the Berlin Wall collapse and how (if the story is true. I'll have to Wikipedia it) it was all 100% unintentional. There was a plan to remove travel restrictions between East & West Berlin; however, it was part of a long plan with practically impossible hoops to follow, years worth of paper filing, and an outstanding cost to the process. But during the press conference, the leader of East Berlin only read some part of his news notes and permanently removed travel restrictions. And thus the wall collapsed. Le oops! I'm now heading to Amsterdam where I'm going to spend a night with the other guest I met from LLX. Gotta love the Lindy housing network. Tomorrow, I meet up with my mom who's visiting the Netherlands for the Budding of the Tulips. One interesting note of national profiling I've learned is that our Swedish tour guide would get scowls and rougher service when she'd talk in English with a slight American accent. But when she told them that she was from Sweden, they immediate apologized. It's amazing how much Bush is really hated outside of America. It makes me sad that America has created such disdain. (Many of which have currencies stronger than ours. Sorry guys, but the almighty American dollar isn't worth much out here.) I hope that we can mend this international relationship soon. I also found out that the Germans really don't love David Hasselhoff. It was just that one song. Riiiiiight. April 19th, on a train from Berlin to Amsterdam
London Lindy Exchange
My second International Exchange has been a great adventure. Although, there are some differences which struck me as odd. One I wish I would have learned before coming is that it's common to dance with the same partner for two consecutive dances. This was a bit of an ego deflator as I thought I was so good that all these girls asked me for a 2nd dance, but it's just the way that they roll here. There's a bunch of good dancers here, so it wasn't a problem, but so many times I found myself finishing the dance with one girl, hearing the next song come on and then wanting to find another follow to dance with, but sticking with the same one. Not a complaint, mind you. Just different. The other is that this Exchange is dance event first, and a social event second. I've been to so many exchanges by now that it's quite the opposite for me now. People dance, and if they sit down, they look at everyone else dancing. Noone's grouped together, pouring each other drinks, no cliques hanging out together. Just dancing. Once again, not a complaint. I danced my butt off at this exchange, when I've been drinking at all of the others. There was no arse-slapping either. Well, at least till I noticed it was missing. Few things will catch you off guard like saying, "You know, there's no ass-slapping at this exchange." And then having your Asian dance partner say in her Australian accent, "Yeah! I like that!" Definitely not a complaint. I've also seen more ariels and Zoot Suits today than in the last 3 years of my dancing. I guess just like what's cool in America hit Europe years later, what's lost fashion travels just as slow. Ok, this one's a complaint. :) There were a few snacks for us and one guy said in his perfect English accent. "There's such a wonderful selection! This is quite exciting!". My internal dialogue was, "No. If some girl just took her top off and started running around, THAT would be exciting. This is just fruit and candy." It's amazing what we find amazing. April 15th, 5AM in the same Flat in London
Modesty
Even inside Europe, there seems to be different levels of modesty. Currently, I'm sharing a room with an English woman and a guy from Amsterdam, Hank. Needless to say, I was quite surprised to see Hank walking around in nothing but his tidy blackies and no shame. He's a pretty fit guy, so I respect that. I don't think our English host would be caught dead like that. And the night before, I shared a hostel room with 2 middle-aged women from Sweden. One just wore a pair of undies and I got flashed some post-prime boobies. I think it was accidental. I HOPE it was accidental because she also invited me to stay at her place if I went through Sweden. I also had an interesting conversation with an Australian regarding American and it's Sexual Confusion. Case in point: More often than not, if a couple has been together for a while, they've had sex. It's pretty much a given in this day and age. However, there is still a social stigma on living together. Also, in America we can show the top, the bottom, the left, the right, then hand-held, the leather-clad, the compressed, and the tasseled boobie, but for the love of all that is holy! DON'T SHOW THE NIPPLE! We can show a man getting cut in half, brains throw across everywhere, blood splattering on other people. BUT DON'T SHOW THE NIPPLE! April 14th, in a Flat in London
Email -> Blog
I've had a few people ask me what I thought about the different cultures. Here's a compilation of their questions/answers: --What do you see about different cultural conversations? That's a very interesting question which seems to be universal across everywhere in Europe, but subtle differences between each country. I've found that I can make friends really easy by saying I'm from Dallas, Texas (Ah!!! TEEX-ASS!, as they say) and then singing the first 4 notes of the Dallas, TV show theme song. They usually finish the rest. I was worried that when I got here, they would not like Americans because of the Bush. However, they do have a strong distinction between Bush and the rest of Americans. No matter what, they still love our culture. And when they tell me they can't stand Bush, I tell them that we have something in common. That seems to create an even stronger bond. I haven't witnessed the "Americans are rude" conversation much. Previously, I was aware of the "French are rude" conversation, but almost all of the French guys I've hung out with have been extremely friendly. I'll be able to provide some more info on that when I get to France in the next few weeks. Both the Socts and the Irish love drinking. It's a form of socialization and bonding that seems to be deep rooted into their culture. It's a really beautiful thing to be able to walk into a pub and be talking to a stranger in about 5 minutes. I'm a fan of the smaller towns as I find more interesting and warm, friendly people there. Like all big cities, you've got people involved in their agendas and schedules. While in the smaller areas, I've had people stop their yard work to talk to me and share ideas. --- Conversation between me and my sister: me: The Dollar's really not worth much here. It's 2:1 ratio for here and the Pound. So, everything costs 2x as much. I had a $15 burger. And it wasn't blow your socks off amazing. Michelle: That really sucks, but what are the girls like? me: The frenchies are gorgeous. I've met a few beautiful English women, but all the other guys seem to think that English aren't that attractive. The Scotts aren't as attractive, but the Irish are better. But almost all of them have great butts. Right now, my ranking system is Scots -> Irish -> England -> French. Michelle: didn't know you were a but man me: I'm not. But I'm constantly walking around and when you're following people, it's what you notice. P.S.: While some people might take offense to my physical attractive ranking system, I will have to say that the people I love the most and think are the best in the planet is in the reverse order. (i.e. The Scots are #1 in my heart.)
The Man, European
Even though it can seem expensive, there's something to be said for the Eurorail Pass. Rick Steves calls it "Forced Luxury", as you can only get it in 1st class. My backpack, unkempt hair, cargo pants and tennis shoe carrying self feels somewhat out of place in these wide seats next to business men, all in their fancy blue shirts and ties, Blackberries, clean haircuts, newspapers and proper accents. There's even an LED system that shows people's reservations with their names. There's no names in my spot, so I'll just wait till they ask me to move. I hope that Mr. Redmond Carrol is grateful that I did laundry yesterday. There's a place for me to plug in my electronics and our stewardess is even a cute girl with a nice French accent. I'm definitely hanging out with Whitey now. April 12th, 2007 - On a Train from Cork to Dublin
No Beer for Me
If 10 years of Texas hadn't converted me to a beer drinker, then I figured 2 weeks of Ireland and Scotland, would be my last shot. Nope. At least I got into Ciders; so it's not a complete loss. Kathy's not disappointed tho, as she still got someone to drink fruity drinks with. I did refrain from ordering a Smirnoff Ice tho. It was like being in the Garden of Eden! Speaking of running around naked, I didn't walk around in a Kilt and/or tromp around the Highlands of Scotland in the buff. It was freggin' cold. Maybe next time. I'm definitely coming back and bringing my...well, lack of inhibition. Stop. Change. Start. I'm sharing a room with a guy named Lindy and most of my shirts are from Lindy Exchanges. He said that he's never seen his name on that many shirts before. I knew that when I came to Europe, that there would be a language barrier. It's bound to happen. I just figured that it would be between me and the French or the Germans. Not with the Irish or the Scots. As much as I love those people, trying to listen in on their conversations is like performing Calculus with a slide rule. Both leave you wondering, "People actually act like that?!" April 11th, 2007 - Kilarney, Ireland
My mum would be proud
On Easter Sunday, I visited not just 1 church, but 3 of them! She doesn't need to know about the pub afterwards, but I think she'd be more at ease with me participating in that part of the Sunday Catcholic tradition. After a great trip around Dublin and then seeing the Cliffs of Mohr, I'm resting my weary feet in Killarney. A small town with some great pubs and traditional music. On my way here, I made friends with some more Americans (one from Tulsa, even) and yet another German. Funny enough, the german guy was the closest I've seen to a leprechaun here yet. Maybe I need to go in search of more rainbows. Speaking of rainbows... --Snoopykiss wants to go to Candy Mountain. And to bed.
Blessed Sleep
Last night, I spent the night in the Staff Room as there were no more beds. This is a pretty disorganized hostel as the manager doesn't have a book and has it all in his head. Doesn't help when he's not on duty. But I was glad to have a room with a bed. Even if it was with some guy that was snoring and farting at the same time. I had no idea that was even possible. I also had no idea that Basement Jaxx had a video to "Do Your Thang". Best use of words on boobs evar. -- Snoopykiss is off to Dublin. It's Easter Weekend. I'm gonna be Catholic for 2 days.
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Those Crazy Frenchies
I arrived in Glasgow (Still in Scotland) after finding a hostel w/ wireless Internet (Yea modern world!). The walk there proved to me that Scotland does have a modern city with a drag, complete with a KFC, women wearing too much makeup and a sidewalk band...Singing the blues. With a Scottish Accent. And a touque. snicker Yeah, it was pretty funny. I'm just now getting a chance to take a breather after going clubbing with my French roommates. As much as they loved dancing to Bee Gees and other Disco hits, I was surprised that when the club played Saturday Night Fever on the screen, they all thought it was Grease. Even if I go to sleep now, they'll wake me up when they finally come back from dancing. That's ok, I'll just curse them out in Pig Latin and that'll freak'em out. -- Snoopykiss est rester vivant
A bit o' Catchup.
I've barely been here a week and already so much has happened. Good lord, this is not a boring adventure. (I never took a shower until the 5th day.) After spending about ...Ok, the fire alarm just went off...some Spaniards just burnt their meal. Not a boring adventure at all. After spending over 16 of my first 24 hours on this trip traveling, I found myself in Edinburgh. Screw England. I wanted to see Scotland! I want hills! And lively music! And meet women who can drink me under the table! (Yes, they do have Smirnoff Ice here, but I've restrained myself from buying any.) But only after taking a leak in the "Lou of the Year". This is the time of year when Hen Parties (Bachelorette Parties) emerge. The happiest, Pissed, Mad Women you'll ever meet. I made friends with a few and they loved hearing the stories about Texas and having an uncle with an alligator farm. Apparently, arse slapping is just as common here as it is in America. I then jumped on a tour bus, guided by Duncan, through the Highlands of Scotland, the 23 mile long Loch Ness, sheep, sheep, sheep, and enough whiskey to make you go blind. The bus returned and I knew that I had to go back. Who knows how many pints later, I jumped to Inverness. A beautiful city with a lot of character, a small castle in the middle of the town and Scotland's largest music pub (3 stories with different music in each story). A Hen Party later, I made a few more friends and even met another guy from Dallas, Texas. Back at the Hostel, I hung out with a few Spaniards that almost had me fall off the top bunk bed laughing. (Ask me the difference between Regular Porn, and Asian Porn.) One of the best lessons I learned from Rick Steves was that if you want to enjoy Europe the most, chat up with the locals. I constantly asked them for their recommendations and everyone kept pointing back to the Isle of Skye. The next day, I did one of the craziest things so far. Long story short, the best place to see a sunset nearby was back at Eilean Donan Castle, about 8 Miles back. The bus driver told me that it would be too long to wait for the next bus, and that I should hitch it. ... "Hitchhike?" "Yea." "Is it safe?" "Sure. I hitched 500 miles one time." "... Um. ... Ok." So, I started walking and threw my thumb out. (Sans towel) About a mile later, I got picked up! It must have been pretty creepy for them as I was absolutely beaming because this was such a new experience for me. But they were fine with it. The driver used to hitch all the time when he was young. I got dropped off right at the castle, next to another hitcher who I swapped out with. I got my pictures, learned some history, even chatted with a set of English kids to seemed quite taken by a Texan that would talk to them. I got back to the hostel and chatted with some friendly Germans who were driving around the Isle of Skye and next thing I know I've got plans for a day-trip with them tomorrow. The Isle of Skye is the epitome of what I imagined Scotland to be. Sheep, Beautiful mountains, jagged cliffs and tiny roads. Most of the roads are only fit one car. So, they have humps so that one car can pull off to the side. Crazy. Tomorrow morning, I take a bus to Glasgow to see some more beautiful cemeteries and the end of my Scottish trip. Next to Switzerland, this is my favorite. So many wonderful, friendly and inviting people. It's almost like my Grandmother raised everyone of them to be so great. I haven't tried on a kilt yet, nor have I tried haggis. I'm adventurous, but not with my meats.
Highlands of Scotland
Nothing brings people together like being confined in a small environment, all with the same goal. Korean, Russian, Romanian, Canadian, and even a Texan Coonass. Things I learned today: "Botched Job" comes from an engineer (Botch) that created a bridge in Scotland that later fell and killed 75 people. Never trust a Cambell "Blackmail" is a Scotish term. I forget what it means, but it's something about paying for something (mail) with sheep that are somehow blackened. "Attack the Gas Station!" (One of my favorite Korean movies, and the inspiration for my car's name, PAGO!!!) caused a big problem in Korea, because all sorts of kids took after the movie and started attacking gas stations. Pago can also mean, "Hit the car in front of you!" The Highlands of Scotland are BEAUTIFUL. Monty Python Locations I saw today: The "What is your Quest?!" bridge (Actually, the bridge is gone now.) The castle where the marriage scene is "performed". The one with the curtains. I enjoyed the Highlands so much that it's now the next leg of my trip. Now if you excuse me, I've got a showing of Braveheart to go see. (Make sure I tell you the story of how much the Scots love that movie.) -- Snoopykiss wants to go running naked across a mountain now. But damn, it's cold.
Edinburgh
Edinburgh is gorgeous. Although, a bit cold, even for this Coonass who likes it like that. Backpacking is an amazing experience where you get to learn a lot about yourself and other people. However, it does get a bit...well...lonely. So, I went up to the bartender and told him about my problem: I'm here to visit Ireland and Scotland, but...I don't drink beer. After a few shocked looks, and having to indeed verify that I was a Texan, he eased me into a decent cider. I then struck up conversation with a Scotsman right next to me and we chatted for a while till I got drawn into this "Hen Party" (i.e. Bachelorette Party), where one of the girls was so Irish (i.e. drunk) that I think I introduced myself to her 3 times. Europe is a great place. All it takes is saying you're Texan, and then singing the first 4 notes to "Dallas" and you've got insta-friends. Tell them your uncle has an alligator farm, and they'll never let you out of their sight. I'm up bright and early now to head out to do a day trip to Loch Ness. Makes me wish I brought my squid shirt. P.S. I went to bed early, and woke up to the sound of a girl coming into my bed room. (It's a 6 person, dorm-style room with private curtains for each bed.) At first, I thought some lucky guy had made a friend and wondered if this would be more like college than I was hoping for. Then more women came in and I realized that I was the only guy in here. It's an awkward experience hearing a woman undress knowing that she probably has no idea you're there. Seriously.
Kamikaze UK
At some point, I'm sure I'll actually get to see Europe. But currently, it feels like I've done nothing but travelling. 8+ hours by plane to London, 8 hours by bus to Edinburgh. On my way here, I realized that it had been about 3 day since I last brushed my teeth... But ... I'M IN FREGGIN' SCOTLAND!!!!! Details and pics to make you hate me later.
I have arrived!
Airport Castle Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. I've made it to London! What's next? Dunno.
I turned 31 the other day
Kathy and Me Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Traditional social standards tell me that I should have had a beautiful day in the park with my kids and…
MezzJelly Funk, Soul, Blues and Good Times
Bring on the Funk Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. As a white guy, why do I love the Funk so much? Maybe it's because it's got a hard bass. Maybe…
DAIM
A Picture Share! Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. I bought it for the name. As in "DAIIIIM, girl. You lookin' hawt. He's gonna twist open the…
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I'm going!!!!!!
Europe in 2005 15.jpg Originally uploaded by goldmember@gmail.com. Ok, after years and years of telling myself that if I ever got laid off from Nortel, I…
Punch a Nun
How good can good food be? A question recently pondered by myself right after my recent Food and Spirits party. And I think I found the limit. After talking about how she took the leftover chocolate fondue and threw in whipped cream and poured it over pound cake, Kathy's friend realized that this was tasty enough that she'd "Punch a Nun". NOTE: To all you nun-lovers out there: I highly doubt that this friend would go around actually punching nuns for pound cake. But what if she opened up a Denny's/La Quinta rival: Punching Nun Inn/Slap a 4 Year Old Diner. Crack a Cardinal Tuesday's. 4 Year Old Friday's. Wrong, yes. But it's be tasty. I'd eat there. --Snoopykiss wishes he could Feast on Asphalt.
A Picture Share!
A Picture Share! Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Caution! Runaway Bikes Zone. -- From River Legacy Park in Arlington, TX
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May Pole!
It worked! Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. What's May without a Pole Dance? What started out as a joke between Neighbor Dan and I about how we should…
Silent Hill
0020 Originally uploaded by JoJo4Art. Creepy freggin' movie! But good. But creepy. And a bit too much at two parts. You'll know if/when you get there. Although, I haven't been able to find someone else who's played the game to compare it with. And it looks like I'm being a complete goober and missing out on two of my favorite cities for dancing. Denver and St. Louis. Curse you, finite banking account! As a result, It's roommate searching time again. From 0 to 3, back to 0 in 1.2 years. --Snoopykiss is cooking up a storm. Let's hope he doesn't burn it this time.
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And THAT'S how I want to rent DVD's...
Leon (Good Movie) Originally uploaded by notequal. From a Kiosk in a Grocery store where I pay Per DVD/Per Day. $1.08, please. (Jarhead was great.) And speaking of making the most of Media, I'm curious to know how Zuna Fish takes off. $1 to trade a DVD, CD, Paperback with someone else. BRILLIANT! --Snoopykiss is a happy consumer. Until his gas light comes on.
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30 in binary
30 in binary Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. "What's it like turning 30?" "I was giddy for most of the day. I was just unconditionally happy through…
TAGXORED!
tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, and tag Originally uploaded by mjutabor. Matty got me. Four jobs I've had Popeyes (cook, cashier, fluffer) Shrimp Boat helper…
PDX: Not just an airport code.
I wouldn't know what to do either Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. I've never seen a city so involved with it's airport code. Not that I know which came…
2.5 boobies
3rd boobie Originally uploaded by Malingering. Definitely not awesome. On my way to pickup a space heater AFTER winter finally hit us (Yea Winter!), I noticed the "Willow Bend Wellness Center". What really grabbed my eye sockets and had me rubber-neck was that the top business there was "Plastic Surgery" I'm definitely no Health (It's HEALTH, not Wellness, dammit!) Fanatic, but since when does Plastic Surgery have anything to do with Wellness? I'm not even going to start with the physical ramifications of nipping and tucking, but that's like...mayonnaise and peanut butter! -- Snoopykiss just had Chik-Fil-A. Maybe he should get a boob-job to compensate.
C is for Carbon Dating. Good enough for me.
blaukraut bleibt blaukraut Originally uploaded by mjutabor. I got the following email from Kathy today. I would say that I'm scared, but it was recently…
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Stop Procrastinating Tomorrow
today's fortune Originally uploaded by lil aNNa. The title is a fortune that G claims he got. I would fight him, but I one time got one with nothing in…
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Growing vs. Falling
Summit Plummet Originally uploaded by bobscrazyblog. Not out of resolutions, but more out of revolutions, I've noticed changes in myself. All seem to be…
Katrina. That Bitch.
Gone Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. We always view national tragedies in horror, but it rarely sinks in how gruesome they are until we see them…
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Some Coonass is Gonna Get The Boot
Utterly Texan Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. But not in a "Survivor" way. They're actually going to get this boot. Kathy helped pick out this ... this…
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Mike, there's a cat in the garage. Don't run over it.
1 Day Cat Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. While on a complete high from watching Doom in all of it's B-movie goodness, there was a freezing, yet…
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Strip White Elephant Party
mensshirtL2 Originally uploaded by jen-rocks.com. So, I'm chatting away with Miss Sam, of Weyandt's affection, and discussing a possible X-mas party. There's the traditional White Elephant party, but when your attendance reaches 100+, you've gotta bend the rules to make this work. Otherwise, you'll be there till my Birthday (St. Patrick's Day. I like Legos). In America, you can turn anything into a game by adding either "Strip" or "Drinking" to it. So, what would happen if there was a penalty for stealing? --Snoopykiss is suddenly in the Christmas mood.
Turkey in a Bag, babye!
Turkey in a Bag, babye! Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. I made a turkey in a paper bag that was so juicy that it de-winged itself upon removal.…
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Random People Incidents.
Tis the season, yo. It's time where we all get jollified and make conversations with strangers. In the past 24 hours, I've had two that just made my day: I was out at the Bone and dancing with Ann. (A particularly attractive and wonderfully great follow who I met at ALX this past weekend.) We were having one of "those dances". I thought it was pretty good, but this random person came up afterwards and was ranting and raving about how great it was. "You guys were AWESOME! I've never seen such dancing like that! You never missed a beat! That was AMAZING! The two of you should get married!" ?!?! "Well, I've got a certain lady-type who might not agree to that." "Doesn't matter. Ditch her. I see it! I tell you! Y'all need to get married!" Nod. Smile. Back away slowly. And then earlier today, I was buying groceries for my "Orphan's Thanksgiving" and was all prepared to go the bachelor route of buying a frozen pre-cooked turkey, I asked this old black lady what she thought of it. Long story short, I went from trying to get confirmation that I was getting a good turkey to getting talked into cooking my own turkey myself. Using a paper bag. Crazy. --Snoopykiss has just become a fire hazard.
I binge and purge
Chicken Elmo Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. So, I successfully completed my "Stick it to the Man" Tour with a buttload of pictures and some new…
SittMT: Boston, babye!
Boston Chowda Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. After a long train ride, it's always great to be greated by a welcoming female. Who's hot. And a redhead.…
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Stick to to the Man Tour: Day 5 & 6 (Chicago -> Toronto -> New York -> Boston)
Chris Sleeping Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Canada. That Maple Leaf place. America's Attic. (You don't go up there very often, but when you do,…
Stick it to the Man Tour: Day 3 & 4
Sears CN Tower Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. After a much needed rest and some good work put in, I finally got the full "Stupid Lack of Parking…
Stick It To The Man Tour: Day 3 (StL -> Chicago)
Dressed up Chopper Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Escaped St. Louis w/o much incident. (I had no idea that STL had the "Bowling Museum" Crazy.) Made…
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Stick it to the Man Tour: Day 2 (Tulsa -> StL)
Car-Fi Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. After MUCH delays and suffering from an overdose of Orange Cone-age, we finally made it to St. Louis where I got…
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Stick it to the Man Tour: Day 1 (Dallas -> Tulsa)
Kum and go Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Got to Tulsa. Highways here look like my kindergarden drawings. Hwy 75 turns to 69 then to Indian Turnpike…
Stick it to the Man Tour
eve Originally uploaded by _rebekka. I was recently VERY annoyed by the process which I had to go to get the VPN software for my new iBook to let me into Nortel (my employer's) network. Long story short: Since I'm on a Mac, I had to purchase from the company I work for, with my own money the software I needed to get into the Nortel's Network. Downright crazy. However, not to be knocked down, I've decided to take my newly purchased freedom (now I can connect to work from any Internet connection) and work "Out of Office". You know, some place like...Denver. Or in this case, The Big Apple. (Thus the picture and the iBook. Now the circle is complete.) The plan has fallen in my lap quite suddenly, and I'm going to be sacrificing a number of other opprotunities here, but it shall be worth it. Especially since I'll be gone for 2 weeks, but only taking 1 week of vacation. (The Man has been properly stuck!) --Snoopykiss is making even MORE of his friends jealous, day by day.
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2222
We're so white! Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Ok, so I knew my car was cool. I mean, it's a Mini Cooper. Decent gas milage, a stylish look, and "A…
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His Name Be Borat
iBorat Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. And he likes the Sexy time. My 3 foot LEGO Star Destroyer met it's match yesterday as it fell from on top of the…
A Friendly Game of Chess
a friendly game of chess Originally uploaded by Optimus Prime. Shot Glasses for Chess Pieces...What a brilliant idea! And for extra craziness, what if each side gets to fill one shot glass (say a pawn) with something nasty like lemon juice and the captor has to shoot it. Probably speed up the game too. I've also been having too much fun with my iDude, taking pictures of his butt, his abduction pictures, action poses, etc. Ideas for more Chess deviations are welcome!
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Attack of the 50 mm iPod
iPody Dude. Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. BIG UPS! to Ruby for accessorizing one of my favorite toys. 9 Guests last weekend, half of which I never…
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PAGOOOOOOOOO!!!
PAGOOOOOOOOO!!! Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Conversation while picking up the Mini between Jeff (sales manager/old swing dance instructor) and I:…
Whoomp...
stretch Originally uploaded by lounytoon. is the sound that the Universe makes when it bends to my will. And I think that I've been having that one track…
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My Garbage Can Overflow-ith
New York Sanitation ;)- Originally uploaded by khoogheem. ...but I sure didn't do it. And my neighbor's can was pretty empty. So, now I'm suspicious about…
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Head and Shoulders for Potential Roommates
"Coast is clear - go for it!" Originally uploaded by BombDog. To help stop flaking. Like calling at 1:30PM when you're supposed to move in at 2PM to bail.…
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Jazz Fest, babye.
Jazz Fest Logo Thingamabob Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Road trips are funny things. You never know what's going to happen or where the…
Cheap Thrills
Blurry Blues Originally uploaded by SnoopyKiss. Some day, I'm actually going to go to St. Louis and check out the city instead of Blues dancing till 4AM.…
I want my Mini!
My finances can be best described as: Feast or Famine. Frugal. Frugal. Frugal. SPLURGGGGEEE!!! Such as this past week where I've been living off of leftovers and sandwitches and then last night where I put a $1K pre-deposit for my new car and went to Fogo De Chao for dinner. Next weekend: Cheap Thrills, babye. Oh yeah, how I plan to pay for my habits as well as a cheap plug for my favorite online Web Comic: http://www.spamusement.com/ Jennylynn4064: I need a place to live lastcoolnameleft: My house. lastcoolnameleft: :) lastcoolnameleft: Adn then commute to Denver Jennylynn4064: perfect lastcoolnameleft: See? That's pretty easy, eh? Jennylynn4064: oh, wait. can Julie live there too? lastcoolnameleft: Sure. It's 4 bedrooms. Jennylynn4064: ok, now it's perfect. Jennylynn4064: how long's the commute to Denver? lastcoolnameleft: Oh Um. Weren't you supposed to be working on that teleporter? Jennylynn4064: I was, but then school got in the way Jennylynn4064: I thought I sent the specs to you? Jennylynn4064: so you could take over the development process? lastcoolnameleft: Oh crap! They probably went to my Junkmail folder. lastcoolnameleft: You didn't put the title as, "Make the machine go faster", did you? Jennylynn4064: no, it was probably more like New High tech product thats sure to please -- Snoopykiss can't wait until the parents find out about this.
· 2 min read
It happened again!
I'm starting to wonder if guys have just started taking multi-tasking (peeing and giving directions) to a whole new level. I'll keep my those actions separate, thank you very much. Meanwhile, I had the following dream: I was walking to my car from The Bone (however, my car was on the other side of the Deep Ellum tunnel, for some strange reason). Then my friend Tam drove by and asked me if I wanted to hop a ride. So, I jumped on the top of her trunk and said, "GO!" She then started screeching the wheels and somehow I was able to hold on while making this crazy right turn onto Good Latimer. But then she decided to do a U-turn in the One Way lane right before the tunnel and then started going the wrong way down the same One Way Street back to Elm. She shot through 2 red lights at which point the cops noticed and turned on their lights and sirens, which then started a police chase. All this, while I was still holding onto the trunk with some apparently, super grip hands. After we passed the Gypsy Tea Room, we were no longer in Dallas, but now in some type of redneck residental area with lots of tall grass and many wooden shacks and Tam was making sharp turns to try and ditch the cops. At some point, I realized we were going to get caught and jumped off and into some dark alley, but then there happened to be a police car coming down that alley right as I jumped. I woke up right at the point where I knew I was going to be busted. Headlights shining in my face and everything. After I woke up and then contemplated this for a moment and my only solid thought was, "I should have jumped right as she made a turn instead of while she was in the middle of an alley because then I would have gotten my feet grounded better and been able to run faster. Note to self, just in case I'm ever in this situation." --Snoopykiss needs to have a Zen Moment. Only $19.95
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Urinal Noise
Coming from a guy who has a national reputation for licking people, one can imagine that it would take something fierce to really gross me out. I also live pretty much an open book life, but there are some times that are sacred to me. Namely, when I'm releaving my bodily needs. I think that those are times that should be done behind closed doors and with no one else observing or even being aware. (I'll admit that I've done my buisness while on the phone before, but it's one of those things that I feel really guilty about and made sure that I was on mute during those un/comforting times. So, that makes it ok.) Therefore, I was surprised when I walked into the work bathroom to find someone giving directions while operating "hands-free". I then took it upon myself to ensure that his compantion was quite aware of his social faux pas (pis?). No hitting the back wall, I was aiming for the water, baby. I was somehow able to fill the entire bathroom with that famous sound and could tell that I made my urinal-neighbor quite shifty as he obviously was trying to quicken his own process. But these are things you really can't rush. No really. When he finally left (I forget if he washed afterwards), I felt somewhat guilty, but even more embarassed when I noticed I was laughing all by myself at a urinal. Great story for the next guy. -- Snoopykiss wants a mini. Cooper that is.
Single but not Alone
After going through enough 100+ people parties, there comes a time where one realizes that there is a core group of people who are not just your party buddies, but people who you can really depend on. Those are the people I wanted around me for my St. Patrick's B-day. It's those people I wanted singing Happy Birthday in the loudest, off-key, deaf-tone, intentionally unharmonious, way possible. Ones that would give me Pinky, the Love Pig as well as show me the epitome of "ghetto wrapped". Ones who know me and what I want, oh so well. (Thanks for the Mentos and shirt!) As well as ones who are so willing to help me "find something to bang" while making a joyful noise unto the Lord. And then give me a spatula to help with spankings. After much merriment and a very-welcomed day slept in, I was kidnapped by two awesome Denver Follows, and whisked off to Lindyfest in Houston. This consisted of a weekend full of the country's best and intriguing instructors where I took a class called, "Learning to Dance to Soul Music" and even saw my friends compete in the American Lindy Hop Competition Regionals. Pictures forthcoming. --Snoopykiss needed that. In a good way. And a bad way.
Care to imply a game?
Session Start (discostu_2000@hotmail.com:Leigh): Wed Mar 16 14:58:21 2005 Leigh: "I put my hand up on your hip and when I dip you dip we dip" Tommy: "I get knocked down. And I get up again. You're never going to keep me down." Leigh: "Pissin the night away" Leigh: "I wanna lay you down on a bed of roses" Tommy: "I would do anythign for love. But I won't do that." Leigh: "how my poor heart aches... with every step you take" Tommy: "Don't break my heart. My achy-breaky heart" Tommy: "Every Step you take. Every Move you make. I'll be watching you." Leigh: "black cat, cadillac, baby meet me out back, we're gonna boogy" Tommy: "I've got a pink cadillac, it's as big as a whale. And it's about to set sail." Leigh: "Tin rrooff! RUSTED!" Leigh: "Love shack, baybee love shack!" Tommy: "Like a fiddler. On a hot tin roof" Leigh: "with or without you" Tommy: "And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIeeeeeeeeeeee will always love...you." Leigh: "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Tommy: "And if you try sometimes. You just might find. You've got what you need." Tommy: "I am 13 going on 14." Tommy: err.."I am 28, going on 29." Leigh: TomTom.. "I think I LOVE you!" Tommy: "Don't go chasing waterfalls. Just stick to the rivers and streams that you're used to." Leigh: "Go grease lightening, GO grease Lightening!" Tommy: "AMERICA!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!" Leigh: "Shut your F'in mouth , Unclse F'er!" Tommy: "FAME! I wanna live forever!" Leigh: "Dancing queen, young and sweet, ONLY 17" Tommy: "Du hast! Dus hast mich!" Leigh: "oh mamma, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the lawwwww" Tommy: "I shot the Sheriff! Leigh: "hang man in coming down from the gallow and I don't have very long" Tommy: "Signs signs..everywhere there's signs" Leigh: " Bealzubub has a devil for a son!" Tommy: "Cats in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon. Little boy blue ran away with the moon." Tommy: "Just like me..." Leigh: "you're the one!" Tommy: "You're not the only one. That can make me feel like thiiiiisss.." Leigh: "I touch myself" Tommy: "Big hands I know, you're the one!" Leigh: I heart you tommy
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Death of Electronics
Strange things are afoot at Chez Falgout. It started off with my web server eating through 3 different power supplies in 4 days before I gave up and decided to pay someone else to host my site. (Thus the new design for the somewhat observant.) And now my phone is having as much trouble finding service as a room full of Trekkies. BUT! My birthday is coming up and this is more than enough reason to start celebrating. Good friends and hot tubbing last night and dancing till my feet fall off for the rest of the week. I leave you with this limerick from my good friend Matt Weyandt who now knows why men pat each other on the back 3 times: There was once a man named Tommy, Whose mantra was "Be kind to the hotties!" The lassies did dig him, On the floor, he did spin them, Why else? Dancin's his hobby. -- Snoopykiss thinks you're never too old to get spanked.
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Vegas Expectations
I love it when my expectations of things get thrown away and then replaced by even mo'betta things. Like going to see the Stratosphere in Las Vegas. Beautiful view of the city with a rollercoaster on top! How could you possibly have a better adventure than that? What if your cab driver opens up the coversation about how far your seat is with, "So, how's your nuts?" And then proceeds to barely miss running over every pedestrian that gets in the way. Crazy Driver Dude to Lee: "So, where you're from?" Lee: "Portland" CDD: "Cool. Got some weed?" confused, "Did he just say that"-ish pause "No." swerve swerve Run redlight bank left on 2 wheels CDD: "Now we're in the getto. Want some crack? Want some weed?" Best $5 ride ever. G and I also scored $500 vouchers because Southwest was overbooked and we volunteered to take a later flight. To celebrate, we got G dronk with margarita's the size of our heads in the airport. Other wacky antics involving Lee, Barb, G, Deb and Gabe ensued. G and I stayed an extra day and went to see a Cabaret show where I then got drug up on stage. But the highlight of the weekend for me was climbing the 75 foot indoor rock climbing structure at Gameworks. Toward the top, I was starting to breathe really heavy and my hands were getting sweaty, but getting to the top was a complete personal victory. That and I've been craving it for quite some time. Pics! -- Snoopykiss has found himself a new level of peace. It's Zen-tastic.
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1 New Year, 2 Instructors, 8 Peeps, 537 Meters
In the persistent quest to better my dancing ability and fix my Overly Caucasion Syndrome, I attended the Paul and Sharon workshop this weekend. I picked up on all sorts of little tricks, moves and techniques, but if I had to say what concretely stuck in my mind (outside of the video of Laurie dancing) was that I finally know where to put my hand. And I'm sure all the ladies will love that. And of course, no Dallas dance weekend would be complete without the proper cramming of as many people as possible at my place. As a result, I got in a fair amount of hot tubbing, some great company and even leftovers! Amidst the active weekend, I was able to score tickets to my Kung Fu school's Chinese New Year Celebration. Accompanied by the lovely Miss Erica, we now both know of some 10 year olds that could probably take me down. After a (probably better off) cancelled date to go rockclimbing, I picked up the wackiest game in my PS2 collection. Katamari Damacy. The point of the game is to amass crap by rolling on it. The more you roll on, the bigger you get; the bigger you get, the more you can pick up. Don't try picking up that cow too soon, he'll get angry. Make sure to gather enough small children. Then you can move onto a Pachincho Store. Or my personal favorite: A Giant Squid. Well worth the $20. --Snoopykiss needs a nap. But he's going to Vegas, so don't feel too bad.
Fluffy Bunny
7 Marshmellows. 1 Mouth. 6 Fluffy Bunnies. All that with an interesting movie, friends, and hot tub popcorn makes a Tommy happy. Yarr! --Snoopykiss. The other white meat.
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Toss your own ferret
So, this weekend, I felt like disappearing and since I had a friend in Tulsa who was celebrating his B-day, I knew my destiny. 4 hours and one speeding ticket after jetting from work, I found myself getting preped for a ballet with Teh Stella (Officially STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!), Chris and Sharon. On the way there, Stella and I were talking about some recent unfortunate events. Me: "Yeah, I know it sucks. But it's one of those stages of loss. You know, Denial...Anger...Acceptance...Tossing Ferrets...." I don't think that the world will ever know how funny that really was without going back in time and actually being there in the car. Sucks to be them. The thing about ferret tossing is that if you can throw away your animal cruelty concerns, this is really a great idea. First off, when you toss them from their hind legs, they make a nice ferris (ferret?) wheel spinny-action in the air. Plus, the resounding "THWAP" that they make when they hit the target is one of the most satisifying feelings one can get from a discounted pet store. The important part is that as much as you may want to help someone out, you cannot perform these actions for another. They must toss their own ferret. --Snoopykiss wants a pi step program.
21 and Gay
Have I stressed enough how much I love my friends? My very diverse set of friends. Well, at least as diverse one can be while living in a city pretty much comprised of computer geeks? My good friend Mark had his 30th B-day party, and I was excited to see him and his husband, Dave, and their new house. It was a surprise theme where everyone was supposed to come dressed up in their favorite Rocky Horror or Disco outfit. I figured I was going to be the only straight guy there, but this would not be an unfamiliar situation to me. Regardless, Disco Stu made an appearance. After hanging out with Mark and his friends, and apparently blending in quite well, this one girl seemed affectionate, and we got to talking. Somehow age came up, and she wanted to know how old I was. "You're 23, right? 25? Ok, maybe 21. pause Wait...you're not 19 are you? You're drinking. You can't be 19. 21?" I held out for a while and then told her that I was 28 and she gave me a huge hug and said that I was so cute for 28. It then hit me, "She thinks I'm gay!!!" So, I had fun with this and have made a new friend. Who still doesn't know if I'm gay or not. And for some reason...that cracks me up. --Snoopykiss is uni-curious.
I know Kung Fu
Ok, not yet, but I'm getting there. I signed up at Master Lee's White Leopard School where they teach Kung Fu and Tai Chi. And I'll have to admit, I'm a little nervous. I'm not interested in learning a way to defend myself as I've learned how to avoid most of these situations through general awareness of my surroundings. Instead, I'm looking for to gain some mental and physical conditioning. Like all things that involve a large undertaking, I did lots of research. 5 different schools. Lots free sessions. No broken bones. I've also started coaching the Self Expression and Leadership Program at Landmark. But instead of mental and physical conditioning, I'm working on being more self-expressed, fun and connected to people. I'm also looking to expand my ability to contribute to people more. All in all, getting back to my good ol' wacky, happy Tommy-self. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be getting fishies too! Yea Responsibility! --Snoopykiss wants to know what love is. He wants you to show him.
· 1 min read
Lindy Gras...now with Parental Units!
Of course, thanks for everyone who helped organize this wonderous event. It kicked much arse! Unforunately, I had too much fun and my body's making me pay for it now by being sick and stuff. Some of my favorite highlights were: Riding the bull and doing a damn fine job of it, if I don't mind saying. Video forthcoming. Meeting up with my parents and other relatives at Cafe Du Monde and seeing the "No Funk For Tommy Team" and hearing my dad say, "You know, your mom doesn't have to know, but I'm proud of ya." Getting a picture of me and my dad with me wearing my "Qui Est Ton Papa?" Shirt. Priceless. Walking down Burbon Street, and biting on Erica's neck, and then running into my relatives again. Ack! As Stella said, "You turned a deep purple." THE Blues Club Going to The Blues Club with the gang and then getting my relatives and parents to go inside. Then showing off. :) Watching my parents dance. This was pretty much THE highlight of my weekend. I can't say how much that meant to me. It gave me an infinite number of warm fuzzies. The smallest Room / Shower in the world. Being a Marshall for the 2nd Line Parade. w00t! Free Umbrella! The Matrix Posings with Sharon. Where's those pics, G?! Bowling Ball Dancing with Holly. The Last Dance with Jasmine. Oh yeah, PICS ARE UP!
Still haven't found what I'm looking for.
My life always seems to play itself out in themes. The current theme seem to be "Recovery." Unfortunately, my week long excursion with the Lovely Miss Aya did not work out as I hoped it would. This coupled with a previous chagrin, has had me seek the Great Geek Wisdom of Ernst Leland Gibson IV, who replied: "Red Warrior Needs Time to Self Badly." So, after some much needed reflection time, I decided it's time to rally up some old friends and go out dancing. This is as far as I got: "Vivian?" pause "Hello? Is Vivian there?" "I'm sorry, but you just called the Cingular Wireless Store." "Oh really?" "Yeah. We're checking things out here and I noticed that the phone on display started ringing." "You're kidding me?!" At this point, I can barely contain myself. "Nope." "Um. Ok." We then both have a good laugh and hang up, still laughing. Even when Life doesn't give you what you want, it has a funny way of giving you what you need. P.S. NYE Pics are up! --SnoopyKiss also needs some Snuggle-ual Healing.
How not to Spend X-mas
I questioned whether I should go home to Cut Off this year. I'm allergic to my hometown (all the mold and mildew of the swamps). I don't keep in touch with anyone back there (I was a social outcast back in high school). However, the family wants me. So, I'm there babye. Arriving in New Orleans around 10PM, X-mas Eve, I was met with hugs and kisses as my mom, dad, Evan (newphew) and I went to my sister's place. Phil (bro-in-law) and I did some guytalk catchup till I got some couch-crashing sleep. I was later woken up to kids running around, and a gift to unwrap in my face. It was cute. One set of nice really nice kitchen knives, an automatic tape dispenser, an MC Escher book later, and a few other cool toys later, we were outside marvelling at the first White Christmas New Orleans has had in 50 years. It was beautiful. One smoked turkey, some ham and a Falgout Family Portrait later we left Mandiville around 4PM to head to Cut Off. We were concerned about the roads, since there was lots of snow, but Dad figured that if the Causeway (26 mi bridge, across the Ponchetrain bridge, which we had to cross) was open, then we were home free. Should we check to see if we would have problems getting across the Mississippi? Heck no! I mean, if we can get through a 26 mile bridge, then crossing the little ol' Mississippi River, should be nothing. We got past the Causeway, and I decided, it was naptime. I woke up to noticing us doing what seemed to be a U-turn on a major highway as 310 was closed off. (Our first choice for crossing the river) After some Falgout deliberation, we decided to take another bridge, and ended up taking a Left Handed Turn into some Frozen Swamplands. This later got us right to the river, but no way to cross. Which made us cross. After going up and down the river for many more miles, we found ourselves right back at the airport, where my whole adventure started, with no way to get over that tiny river. So, X-mas night was spent in the confines of a Best Western. Thankfully, the connecting Denny's would be opening at 10PM. What's that? The employees can't make it across the bridge either? No Denny's X-mas Dinner for us? But Red Warrior needs food badly. So, we went outside, mom in her Mink Coat, me in my Leather Trenchcoat and dad in his "Goosedown" to go outside and walk about a block in the freezing weather, for food. On Christmas. It was around this point where we couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Maybe it was the surrealism. Maybe it was that the three of us just spent 3 hours in a hotel room on X-mas night, snowed in, laying waste (Warning 2.6 Meg video. Right click and Save to File) to a considerably sized flask of Jack D. on an empty stomach. We walked into the Hilton's Sports Bar, and was much later approached by a waitress who looked like she was at the end of her proverbial rope. So, we gave her some proverbial slack. Apparently, due to the weather, she had been working since 2PM. Mind you, when we finally get there, it was 10-11PM. Food. Drinking. Popcorn. Drinking. Yea, X-mas is over! We walk back to the hotel, all read some more and even partake in some ballet watching. "Well, I guess we're not making it to church tomorrow." Crash. Wake up. Get dressed. Go to Denny's (finally open!) and we notice that our Hostess seems to have a hard time dealing with the sheer amount of people that have bombarded her. This, I'm sure, because she seemed to have a hard time even dealing with just 1-2 people. We're finally seated (I think we must have earned some good karma last night as the hostess actually walked us to our table, rather than the couple in front of us who just got pointed to where they were supposed to sit.) and got some food (none of us got what we ordered, but we dealt). Little bit later: "Say, is that Pastor Jemison?" (Pastor of the church we were supposed to go to this Sunday morning.) "Holy cow!" So, we called him on over to our table and greetings abound. Come to find out, he had to get one of his son's to the airport and somehow got here, but had to wait as his son had missed his original flight to Beruit, and was trying to get on standby. At one point, his wife called and I was amused by this transaction I had with her on the phone: "Yeah, he's (Pastor J) playing hooky from church." "But so are we." "True. But he's paid to be good. You're good for nothing." (Have I told you how I love word tricks?) Anyways, we say our goodbyes, and get back on the road. Back to 310, which Dad is hopeful is open as it's now 50 degrees outside and most of the snow seems to be gone. Ok, so we didn't earn THAT much good karma. After talking to some of the people who were in "line" to get on that frozen highway, we decided to not wait and made that SAME LEFT HANDED TURN, back into the swamps. This time, I got pictures in the light. After another on-ramp barricade, we talked to the cop and the two of the exact same people who were in "line" back at 310 and came up with a gameplan with our newfound information from the cop. 2 Bridges open. One inside New Orleans, one far, far away. Of course, being Falgouts, we let them head into the fire (read: city) and we took the long route. I think it ended up being the best bet as the traffic going into the city was horrible. (twice as long, none of the traffic). My dad told me that this was a good lesson as I was learning the backroads of Louisiana. I told him that I hoped that I would never have to use this information again. I decided not to tell him that a better lesson would be to drive the speed limit (not under) and pick a lane (he was literally in the middle of the road while on the Sunshine Bridge). This had been trying on us all, so I digressed. So, just shy of 24 hours after we originally left my sisters place, we finally made it home. Only to find out that my old bedroom had been completely redecorated. This story does have a happy ending tho. I later went out and purchased some Popeye's deep fried chicken, and a daiquari for myself and a pina colada for mom w/o even leaving the car. Gotta love drive through alcohol stores in Louisiana. --Snoopykiss now knows what they mean when they say, "You can't go home."
· 6 min read
Things you learn when you travel
Blurting out "Speaking of Jesus" is quite an effective way to transistion between two completely unrelated subjects. If ever there is a position which seems impossible, but amusing, I will always enlist my friends to help me try it out. I will never get tired of some people saying "w00t". It's ok to say "For the Love of Booty" to some girls. I do crazy things when I drink. The difference between my friends and my aquaintences are the number of inside jokes and band names we've come up with. "Underwater Ass Seizure", "No Funk For Tommy", "Suzi Bites and Nibbles" ALWAYS have your camera ready. I do crazy things when I'm sober.
Turning a new tree.
Greetings Tommy-party enthusiasts, Over the years, I've thrown countless parties, all with amazingly great success. And I owe that to my friends, my peeps, my homeys. What's made all of these events (Auction Party, Food and Spirits, God and Goddess, etc.) such an overwhelming success is the people who make it and what they contribute. And by that, I am only slightly referencing the tangible items brought. I am more referring to the spirit and general "good natured-ness" which is why I love every one of my friends. This is truly what makes a Tommy-Party (tm). In that same breath, along with the huge successfulness of my parties, stuff happens. And along with the wacky antics, some the hilarious stories. But sometimes it takes away from a greater picture. Something I'm far more committed to. In this case, "Ensuring that everyone that attends, enjoys themselves fully and walks away feeling that they were part of a really special event." That's pretty much the essense of a Tommy-party(tm). That and shaking your Groove Thang. I often think back to all of the parties, specificly, what worked and what didn't work. I take what worked and keep it in mind for the next party. And I take what didn't work and try to remove it in the next one. Sometimes I've succeeded in doing this. Sometimes...not so much. And when I look at what I could have done to eliminate it sooner, one thought shouts out above all other. "Be true to yourself and trust your instinct." SO! This New Years Party shall be unlike any other Tommy-party. This year, there will be participation and celebration! Here is my idea: Everyone attending is invited to bring two pieces of paper. One stating what they are proud to have accomplished this year. A boasting and acknowledgement of themselves. One stating what they are not proud of, or didn't accomplish this year. An acknowledgement of what didn't work or what didn't happen. I'm gonna have a fire a'blazing that evening and everyone participating is invited to read those papers to themselves (and to others, if so desired) and then do with them as they please. (Personally, I look forward to watching one piece of paper burn as I then move on.) Of course, there will be the usual Tommy-Party food and merriment and stories and activities and lots and lots of social interaction. This is something for people to participate in at their own leisure. NOTE: This is NOT about making resolutions. You can do that on your own time. This is about acknowledging exactly where you're at, and what you accomplished and didn't accomplish. What you do from there is your journey. Let's get this party started! Much Love, Tommy.
I got game!
After a devastating blow to the ego, my mind will often wonder off into the dark land of depression and solidute, wondering if I'm doomed to have all of this potential inside me not be realized and appreciated. It's good to know that I've got it where it counts. Interestingly enough, my Sinfest books just came in last night and I feel the need to snuggle up on my favorite 4 person beanbag, with some hot chocolate and the fireplace going and immerse myself in the stylistic drawings of one who's Ego is as directed as mine. Thanks Tat. And Thanks Aya. --Snoopykiss would like to present his nominations for Best Supporting Role.
· 1 min read
Once Times. Twice Times. Five times??
For the longest time, I waited for the world to change, so that I could be happier. I knew that I wasn't happy where I was at, and my frustration was usually focused at external sources. I overcame that mountain and now people know me as "The guy that never not smiles." What a great place to be. But there was something lurking in the shadows, something that was later going to come back and bite me in the arse. That thing was the personal declaration of, "I've made it. I've gone through my growing pains. I get to be selfish now." This ego driven mindset, had me take a number of things for granted. The biggest of which, was the pure love and devotion of one of the greatest ladies this world has ever produced. I lost that relationship, but I'm glad to have gained something even more important: The opprotunity to break my selfish cycle and reconnect with people again. I've been asking myself and others how to do this, and what I've gathered for myself is that I'm going to find what I'm looking for through acceptance. Pure 100% "ain't nothing wrong here" acceptance. The good news is that there is nowhere else to look but towards myself. The bad news is that there is nowhere else to look but towards myself. On this quest to Know Myself and be the Best I Can Be (tm), I've unexpectedly found someone who has already guided me towards being the person I want to be. I'm amazed at how much I've enjoyed the company of another person so late at night for so many nights in a row. I mean, aren't 2AM phone conversations something you're supposed to grow out of in college? --Snoopykiss wants to grow up, but be a Toys R Us kid.
· 2 min read
Deep Thoughts. By Tommy Falgout
After discovering some recently upsetting news, I asked two friends for some advice and counseling. I went into the conversation with much anger, frustration and sadness. I left with a new life goal and inquiry for myself. Beforehand, there was lots of questions and confusion which is what had this all hit home, but here's how it went. Me: "But I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Aren't all girls looking for daddy?" Male friend: "You said it right there in the beginning." Me: "What?" Male friend: "Aren't all girls looking for daddy?" Me to Female friend: "What does a woman want?" Female friend: "A Man." It was at this point, I new that I had a new goal for myself in life. It all made sense. It all came together. Now, it is time for me to change. And so, I've done some reflection. What the heck DOES it mean to be a man? I've realized all sorts of outside influences have already tried telling me what that involves (Real Men love Jesus. Real Men don't talk about their feelings. Real Men let go on 5...ish Real Men choose Bic.), but none of them fit. Here's what I've come up with so far. "What does a real man want? A Woman." And finally, I can see the ying/yang of it all. And a whole lot more of my past makes sense now. I now look forward the future. What changes are ahead for me? What will my next relationship be like? --Snoopykiss n'est pas ton papa.
· 2 min read
Mrrreee of the Dead
After a 3-4 week Movie Night hiatus, we started the holiday season off right with Amityville last week and then Dawn of the Dead this week. This post is mostly about Dawn of the Dead, because it was a fine movie, and it also led to an extremely horrifying experience. I was impressed with the movie because it wasted no time jumping right to the action. And then it didn't let go. Thankfully, we waited to watch the movie until all of the Trick-o-Treaters who apparently drove in from other suburbs were done. (We ended up cutting the front porch light off so that they would leave us alone, but they were relentless.) But no plan of mine ever goes w/o a hitch, and my doorbell acted up again. It is known to go off on it's own and then is left in this buzzing state. Half dead, half alive. I pause the movie, go downstairs and then have the very sophmoric thought, "It would be awesome if I yelled out, 'Ah! Zombie!' to scare them...Nah, that would be too childish. I'm beyond that." I get to the bottom of the stairs, and then open the door. With my feet firmly planted on the ground and with every intention of just putting my arm outside to slap at the doorbell, I feel my weight shift forward and there in front of me, inches from my face is this dark figure, just a silouette. Scared for my life, I jump back on the stairs and start screaming. Either it talked to me, or I somehow figured out who it was (Marie), but all I remember was cursing for about a minute straight. Of course, everyone got a good laugh, including Mrree who had a very puzzled look on her face before explaining the situation. --SnoopyKiss just wants to retreat into the safety of his own home and play GTA: SA for a few days.
Exchanges...I THINK they're healthy.
Long time...no post. Yeah. I know. This is me being concerned. So, when life seems to hit you all at once, what do you do? Take a weekend vacation to Austin for dancing and then take another weekend vacation to St. Louis for dancing! Sounds like a good idea to me. No? Ok. Well, I went and did it anyway. And then what should I do when I get back? I know! Build a dance floor! But don't forget to take a picture of your floor. Oh yeah, I forgot. I broke my camera trying to take an extreme closeup of my friend Rob projectiling out of a 2 story slide. Bugger. I think his kneecap is healed. --SnoopyKiss is all about turning his logs from mono to dia. Even if you DO have to have a "ue" at the end of them. uuuuueeeee....
Of Fat-Fingering iPods and Snarfing Sushi
Within the last 6 hours of my stint in Portland, I'm in the back seat of Barb's (who must have cast some type of spell on my Lee to make him so smitten by her), almost drooling on her pillow (containing a patter that strangely resembles a part of the female anatomy) and I then wake up to the Pacific Ocean. Not just any part of it. Cannon Beach..."Astoria."...Where they shot "Goonies". "Holy cow! That's..." "Yeah." "Sweet!" "Dude." Having never woken up to such a majestic site in my life, I started frolicking.. I had no idea that this was what my soul needed. Upteen billion gallons of water. And a rock sticking out of it. Thanks Barb and Lee, for the grand-times. Oh yeah, and for letting me play with your iPod. I'm sure eventually, I'll learn to use it properly. And a special thank you to Heidi. I was never a big fan of sushi. (Now I know it's about as good of a laughing instrument as milk.) Oh yeah, and for the Architecture geek-out time too. --SnoopyKiss feels like doing The Truffle Shuffle. P.S. Check out my panoramic pics. Lee says they are "TEH RULES!".
· 1 min read
HTTP Referers
Aside from finding out how much traffic I actually get on this side, one of my favorite things to do is see how people discover this site. This is done by HTTP Referer logs, which I keep. One of my favorites so far was something along the lines of a Google search on "squid sex". Some of the ones currently amusing me on the list are: MSN search on wet naughty school girl pics Google.com: Nakes Yehoodies Yahoo.com: Dallas Massage Girl Happy Ending Yahoo.com: Hemaphrodite Stories Netscape.com: How Do You Know When Your Cherry's Been Popped Dogpile.com: Her Name Brooke Sugar Daddy And a few other's I'm afraid to mention. --SnoopyKiss is worried about the people out there. And this is coming from a guy who licks people.
· 1 min read
Midgets and Siblings and Portland, Oh my!
Pop: Portland. Yup, that's where I'm at right now. You steal my best friend long enough, I'm bound to fly up there and visit him. While waiting for my vacation to kick into 6th Gear, I'm listening to about the largest iTunes collection I've seen so far, and am in envy of Lee's iPod. Sooon...After my new hardwood floor. Pop: Siblings. My sister (unflattering picture forthcoming), came to visit me with her rugrats and hubby. It was great seeing her again and make up for all of family time that we've missed out on. Another trip to 6 Flags was in order and I've learned that the power behind a woman with an expired ticket and determination can make it through those gates. Push, Pop: Europe canned. Soooonn...after hardwood floor and new kitchen. Pop: Midgets. TMBG concert: Good! Getting free tickets to Midget Wrestling in addition: Mo' Betta! Shift: Perl I think I've been doing too much of it. I'll leave that on the stack for another day. --SnoopyKiss thinks that he might have found [the only job](http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/TorontoSun/News/2004/07/27/558388.html ) better than his curent one.
So, like, wanna go to Prom?
High school. 4 tortureous years, drenched in loneliness, angst and depression. Something I never wish to repeat. Amidst the teenage awkwardness, there's supposed to be a night of freedom, a time of youthful revelry. This so-called Prom. A lot has happened in 10 years, and I've gained the ability to put the past where it belongs and live life fully. So, when these opprotunities to dredge up the past arise, it becomes a challenge to face my life nose to nose. So, I did it. I went to Prom. But this time, I could dance. --SnoopyKiss wants to give props, where props are due: Thanks Hannah, for starting this, Clint for hosting myself and Heather, and Nate and all others for organizing this great weekend!
Tommy's Marriage Service
It's always great to learn something about yourself. Especially when it deals with your impact on other people. I just had a theory of mine soundly reinforced the other day: "If you want to get married, date me. Chances are, you'll marry the next guy you date." Thankfully, I end all of my relationships on good terms so I'm able to share the joy and encourage them on their way. I don't think of this as a positive or negative, but rather a better after effect than my other friend who had the running joke, "After you date me, you turn gay." We were all worried about how that was going to turn out when she started dating one of my Navy friends. They're married now. With child. So, I'm guessing he enjoyed it. --SnoopyKiss wants a ring...A One Ring. P.S. Oh yeah, the blues party was yet another success. These are starting to become my new favorite types of parties to throw! Right number of people too.
w00 and Yea!
It had been a while since my last Exchange, so when it came time for Tulsa's, I knew that I had to be there. I also brought along Lee and Miss Heather who found themselves . On Size: No, LOLX was not a huge exchange, about 60 people or so. But with last year, I think that people were expecting something different. On Quality: One of the things I loved most about this exchange were the people. So many cool people to talk to, so little sleep had. One of my new finds was a Lounge covers of of NiN, Papa Roach, Disturbed and other "Angry White Boy Music "(tm). On Longevity: Arriving at 11PM on Friday and leaving 4AM on Monday, this gave us the maximum amount of Exchange for the minimal amount of vacation time (Read: 0 days). On Pillow Talk: One of my favorite moments was finally getting a chance to sit down with an old college friend of mine who I "ran into" while in Denver about 6 months ago. It's always intriguing to converse with someone who knew you 8 years ago. That and compare "Halle Stories". :) In Conclusion: For those that made it, I'm overjoyed to have spent a weekend with you. And those that missed, this may sound crude, but I'm glad you had your plans, as it wouldn't have been the same Exchange if y'all crowded the place like a Tommy party. On playing favorites: Without a doubt. But a close second. Speaking of which...
Ok, now it's funny.
The weekend that kept getting wackier still lives! It started with seeing an X and getting insanely jealous. That was later calmed down by attending The Angry Asian's "Stereotypical Party", where you come dressed up as the worst stereotype of your race. I was about to go home and mope until I was told that I couldn't until I went to see "Madame Wong". Boy, that was a good idea. The next day pushed my limits of stress and ability to deal with physical threats. These two unrelated "tests" involved gunshots from outside at 1:30, and later, an unwelcome visitor who burst into my bedroom in an outrage and had some very unpleasant and tramatic things to say. Thank God I was dressed. Throughout the numerous ordeals, I was brought back to sanity with the help of my amazing friends who don't mind getting 4:30AM emergency phone calls from me. Today has been interesting as I'm finally getting a few week's worth of laundry done, got a Thank You card from Barb and (OMG!) Mentos from Australia and New Zealand from about the coolest person on Earth! And then I got an SMS from Brooke. Now I know why she disappeared for so long. Maybe I should have left a "Tommy was here" in the closet. --SnoopyKiss can't wait to settle down with some girl that won't eat his Mentos.
iTunes: From God to Gastly in 1 hour
Since I still hadn't conquered my blues, I thought, "Hey! Maybe if I buy stuff, I'll feel better." I've heard women do that, so I decided to try it out for myself. Here's my progression: Breakup -> Blues Went shopping and found 2 DVD's of Happy Tree Friends and cool new pants and shoe rack that I've been needings for about 2 years -> Happy Got home and listened to Blues -> Blues Put together shoe rack -> Productive Watched Happy Tree Friends DVD -> Amused Found KICK ASS "Break Up Songs" compilation on iTunes, which really hits the spot -> Elated! Problem downloading songs via iTunes, chatted with friends -> Happy Finally downloaded files with iTunes. Some files missing -> Irked Found out iTunes won't let me re-download music I've purchased. (Even when their software failed the original download.) -> PISSED! I would go to sleep, but now I've got two very prevelant reoccuring thoughts in my head, "I HATE iTunes" and "la la LA LA LA". -- SnoopyKiss will have interesting dreams tonight.
DefensiveDrinking.com
The process for getting the absurd speeding ticket (65 on the Tollway) has been stretched out to the point where if these were gym shorts, they would no longer fit. I've failed to see any humor in the situation until I realized how much I loved the Internet, and how it was my friend. If you're from Texas, you've probably heard the ads for defensivedriving.com. I decided to take a risk and try it. There's the occasional question to make sure you're paying attention. (Ex: "When you come to a red light, you should: A.) Stop B.) Go C.) Some other silly option. I ain't lying. And if those questions are too hard for you, you can just hit the refresh button as the questions are random) In any case, I decided to take a few liberties with my Defensive Driving course and I think that the amusement value more than made up for it. (Note the Smirnoff Ice) With that said, I think that the timer on my last page is up, and I should return. --SnoopyKiss is also heartbroken. But don't worry, he's got some glue on backorder.
Would you like an apple pie with that?
I've got so many great taglines to use in my jorunals, but so little content. This latest one sparked my imagination after a fairly reenactment of this happened at the BK near my work. Few things put me me in the holiday sprit. That's one of them. I've also been proud of myself as I've finally embraced the idea of doing my homework. Growing up in Louisiana, you usually couldn't get me to go outside unless you tossed the computer out the window. And even then, that would be because I was attached to it. So, that I actually bought and USED a weed-wacker, is about as shocking as having Mushmouth replace Dick Clark and getting the countdown right! I'm also excided as I will be getting a minion (read: Co-op) at work. Don't know what else to say. --SnoopyKiss just got professionally insulted, and feels honored. P.S. After-hours blues party = Good, Good, Good, Better.
The Best Exchange Eva!
Another month, another exchange. (Although that ratio is a lot lower this year.) I've made many decisions in my now 28 years of life. Some have brought me great amounts of happiness, such as buying this house. Others...well, there's a reason why I'm called SnoopyKiss. (Also realizing that a Variable Life Insurance Policy is not a worthwile investment for a Gen-X'er was another poor decision.) However, one of them will go down in my mental history books as being the wisest of them all. Staying in Denver those two extra days. It wasn't a quiet exchange. In fact, with all of the hundreds of pictures I took, you'd think that hardly danced a song. But I did. Mmm...Amber blues. The Denver Exchange is a meeting of some of the best Lindyhoppers in the entire country. And not only are they good dancers...but they're HOT! So, why were those two extra days so great? Where else would I have gotten to compete in a cage dance competition, lindybomb the techno club upstairs with some sessy, sessy blues dancing downstairs, and have three women commandeer my camera to make a home video of "Why Tommy should move to Denver." And no, you can't see the video. And yes, it's good to be the King. Oh yeah. I got to pick out fetish wear for hotties. --SnoopyKiss contemplates moving to Denver. But will they still respect me in the morning? P.S. A few more shoutouts: Kat, Jen and Amanda: God bless you and your fine arse slapping! Kathy!!!!: Without you, I probably would have skipped out.
2nd Annual Food and Spirits Party
Yet another weekend proving that I have the coolest friends this side of the universe. About 100+ people stopped by my house this Saturday to check out some amazing dishes. I was so happy to throw this party, that I even bought prizes for the winners! The award winning receipes were: Appetizer: Apple Happiness (Matt Musselman) Entre: Grilled Salmon (Matt Weyandt) Dessert: Sopaipilla Cheesecake (Eric Simpson) Best of Show: Raspberry Brownie (Helen Cantril) I only wish I would have had the frame of mind to get pictures of the winners with their dishes. Instead, I was facinated by Sarah and her Jello-Shot Wedding Cake which boggled my mind in at least 3 different ways. Ahh...now off to Denver this weekend for more partying and a Birthday dance with the countries best follows! Amazingly enough, after 3 weeks of progress, Heather, Lee and I were able to get the walls and white boards in time for the party. With 2 hours to spare! Words can not express their coolness. w00+! SnoopyKiss knows that it's good to be king.
Fat Lindy (Lindy Gras)
I wish I had more to say about Lindy Gras right now, but it's pretty late in the night (or early in the morning) and after postponing this post for so long, the vivid memories of dances and follows are quickly being replaced with Perl code. One speciality of this Exchange was that Heather and Lee got their Exchange cherry's popped. I think they enjoyed themselves. The invitation for the 2nd Annual Food and Spirits party just went out, and I'm amped! I plan on this being a bit more subdued than the last one, but still a good time with great people that know how to cook. Or at least know how to pick out great spirits. --SnoopyKiss hates breakups.
I'm Popular!
I went through my site stats today and found something amazing. I had 140K+ hits to my site last year. January's not even over and I'm almost at 10K hits, with 1100+ hits just today! You love me! You really do love me! Or at least my pics... --SnoopyKiss feels validated. But not like a parking ticket.
· 1 min read
Okie Smakka!
Another weekend, another party. This time, it was a bit more personal focused, than an all out, Crazy Go Nutz time. Some Okies thought that they could actually dance better than us, so by some miracle, they were actually able to follow directions and make it down to Dallas for the 2nd SmackDown. There were some pre-dance activities which involved me showing off my "mad shuffleboard skillz", and Heather (#6; Double-Three; C; Casey; ) schooling everyone in pool. And I don't mean: Winning. I mean: Slack jawwed Okie still has 4 solids on the table as she sinks the 8 and gloats. It was like all out Pool-sodomy. Afterwards, there was a major good time at Party Central (Chez Falgout) involving some damn fine blues dancing and music, an interesting game of "I Never", and a visitation from the local Police at 5AM. --SnoopyKiss thinks it's time to give in and buy a professional steam cleaner.
Happy w00t Year!
Last year, I resolved to: "Not make any New Years Resolutions." I'm not sure if I either totally succeeded, or completely failed. So, this year, I decided to put some effort into this. About 2 minutes later, I sneezed and the feeling went away. Due to a number of fortunate events in my life, I have found myself evolving and breaking out into those areas I have, for so long, ignored and passed over: Being a Normal Human Being. Cooking: My first experience in this arena actually happened on New Years Eve Eve, where I completely surprised myself and Angelica with my ability to make a really good flank steak. These directions were provided in the new steak knives I got for X-mas. Spending X-mas with the family: I didn't tell my family I was going to Louisiana tuntil the last minute because the drive there makes me regretful of ever leaving Europe where one can drive 30 mph over whatever speed you think might be appropriate. God Bless Lee and his desire for adventure to spend X-mas with a bunch of coonasses. I also got to take a few cool pictures too! Work on the house: I've LOOKED at new wallpaper. That should could for something. Trying new dishes: From my new diet, I've been eating Oats long enough to know that they won't kill me. Maybe asparagus won't either. I'm also really happy to say that I have fully recovered from the parties. I think I've apologize to everyone who deserved it too. :)
I threw a party.
Wacky antics ensued. I want to shout out to a few people who helped make this last party such a huge success: DJ FU! Who kept the tunes raging and the people dancing from 8PM-2AM. The Tommy Support Team: You know who you are and what you did. This party was a hit and kept on going because of your efforts. I'm blessed to have y'all as friends. The Cleanup Krew: Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. And there were a few there to move. Everyone and anyone who contributed to the party. Now to go crawl under a rock for a while... Oh yeah, the pics are up. And no, not THOSE pics.
I miss not having a life.
So many great games out there. So little time to play. Lee tells me about Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and how great it is, how I should play it; however, I'm pretty sure that I'll never finish it. On Saturday, tho, the Heavens and the Earth will collide in an EPIC moral battle beyond all expectations. No-Pants Santa's gonna be there. --SnoopyKiss wants somebody to love. Don't you want somebody to love?
· 1 min read
That's me in the closet.
Too many things have happened since I've last posted for me to describe in any great length, so here's the 5 minute ramblings: Most of the Falgout Family came into town to visit. I even got Charles, my nephew, to come out dancing. I never knew I could have so much fun pimping out my own nephew for dancing. :) Had Thanksgiving dinner with my family...at IHOP...at 9AM before they left for Cut Off. Got stuffed into a closet. snicker After two weeks of no returned calls from Brooke, finally heard from her on Thanksgiving day. We talked about what happened and how I didn't hear from her in such a long while. She promised to call me...a few days later: still haven't heard back from her. I'm STOKED about the Naughty or Nice party coming up on the 20th. It's just less than 2 weeks away and I've already got 40+ people confirmed. There's gonna be prizes, a DJ, a Blues room and a visit from No-Pants Santa! I finally took a non-Lindy Exchange trip! Goddess Kathy found me cheap-ass tickets to Denver which I could not pass up, so packed up some warm clothing and jumped my butt over to Colorado. It's there that I met a whole bunch of Yehoodites I'd talked to before and most amazingly, Jen Hohnstein! Some might have heard my "First Kiss" story (aka, "Tommy, I'm so drunk I can't find your mouth."), well Jen was an instigator of that immortal night. After her Freshman year of Tulane, she dropped off the face of the Earth and I ran across her while dancing in Boulder! I even got to play with myself! I got a new girlfriend. Long brown hair and blue eyes. I know that they care; because, it shows in my call log. His name's Rob. :) Sorry Christine, but I found him first! He knows how to make me do "Man Swivles." (Just kidding mom!) My Strong Bad CD came in...and I'm so glad the Cheat's not dead. What's one to do when you've been living in your house for over 2 years and a package comes for the previous owners that got shipped back due to a Custom's failure?
When w00t! goes wrong
One of my small pleasures in life is the art of subtle humor. My friend Matt Mussleman is the supreme king of such humor. I, on the other hand, tend to keep it to myself and many times too obscure or bizarre. For example, one of the servers I created at work is named Tatu, also one of the tools I wrote generates logs named TPS reports. I bond instantly to anyone to pick up on it. I've decided to name my latest server "w00t", my new desktop will be "yarr" and I've already got a "pago". Unfortunately, as I write this, I'm at work fighting with Yarr and w00t. Thus producing a bunch of other four letter word exclamiations, but thankfully, most everyone is either gone or doesn't speak English and is using a vacuum cleaner. On a side note, the last time I really heard anything from the Aforementioned Brooke was right after she posted a comment on my site. Maybe I'll hear from here again. :)
My Resolve has failed.
On many different levels. One of which was that I didn't even notice that my site's been down for quite some time because my ISP (Comcast) changed my IP w/o me knowing. Therefore, lastcoolnameleft.com didn't resolve. If you don't find this funny, ask a techie. If the techie doesn't find this funny...well, it's probably not. But hug your techie anyway; because I'm sure he would enjoy it. (Hmm...Hug A Techie Day.) The other level is that I promised myself to post whenever events happen. Probably one per event. As of my last entry, there have been enough events to overwhelm a freeze-dried turkey. So, I shall summarize: Austin Lindy Exchange - Dancing, dancing, dancing and more dancing. At some point I slept. Oh yeah! And I had 3 women staying at my house! We even made shirts. Tommy's Bordello. I felt so special. Halloween Party #1 - Unbeknownst to me, I had tickets to go see the Plano Rep's Chicago that night. I went to a costume party where Disco Stu was accompanied by the likes of Angie the Carpenter and Greg the Cholo (sp?). It is here that I met who was awesome enough to sing some Janis Joplin for me outside. Halloween Party #2 - Helen and FWSWS threw a Dance with a live band, costume and even a birthday party for Mistress Helen who was spawned on Halloween, a few years go. My class was also there! Sidenote: I've never been so self-conscious in my life than when sitting in a Greyhound bus station for an hour while wearing my Sugar Daddy PJ's. Afterwards, went to Weyandt's party which was an event and a half. Halloween Party #3 - Rocky Horror. I could go into that some more, but my mom reads this site at times. After a particularly unfortunate Hallowween ending, involving a miscommunication between friends, I feel that karma smiled down upon me (that is if karma would have the properties of a face and muscles to make such a movement). And presented a gift which I have been reveling in ever since. The aforementioned Brooke. (Who a number of my friends are starting to doubt the existance of because due to some reason or another has been unable to join me on none, but one of my social expeditions thus far.) Oh yeah! My new Treo 600 came in and I'm once again, like a giddy school girl playing with my new toy. I only wish I wouldn't have dropped and scratched it on the concrete last night. ("That didn't take long.") Now to prepare for Movie Night. Yarr! --SnoopyKiss now believes in Karma.
The Auction Party
At one of my last parties, I realized that I had thrown enough parties designed to get wild and meet lots of cool people. I wanted to do something new. Something with a bigger purpose in mind. Something that would leave people with warm fuzzies. Something...for the children. So, I started spreading the word about people auctioning items off and donating the proceeds to charity. People seemed genuinely interested in the idea and had lots of creative ideas. So, I went for it. I planned the party the weekend after the St. Louis Exchange and I knew that it was going to be awesome. A few setbacks occurred, like getting sick during the exchange which had lasting after-effects that kept my throat in a constant state of dry-coughing hoarseness. Thankfully, with the help of the best man in the world, Lee Gibson, I knew that nothing would get in our way. From the beginning, Lee was the backbone of this operation. From coming up with the name: “Tommebay”, to designing the website, to designing the “I Gave Stuff” and “I Bought Stuff” stickers, to auctioneering, to building the hot-tub steps in the 13th hour, this man's presence reigned supreme over the party. It would take forever to go over all of the magical highlights of the party; however, in brief, some were: Auctioning Matt Peck's pants Mary's demonstration of Blues Dancing with Becky My roommate, Mark, winning the $105 bid for the “Date with Amy” Finding Mark and Amy exploring new items already. (Read the can) Kathy's AMAZING painting of the Shim Sham steps. Matt Peck bidding $250 on that same painting. The “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” Consultation Me freaking out after finding out what cool stuff I missed out on in the “Assorted CD 1” collection and finally getting the “Assorted CD 2” box Rusty buying Sarah's “Soon There Will Be Art” Lee making Waffles at 3:30 AM for all of the late-night snackers. “The Tingler Demonstration” (I have video. Wow.) By the time the 3rd and last set of auctioning was done, (1:30AM) everyone was in high spirits and Lee announced that had raised $1695 for charities. At that point, my heart froze. I knew that we were going to make some money. I knew that we were going to help some people out. I knew it was going to be a good time. If we raised, say, $400, I was going to be happy. But 1.7K?!?! I'm very honored to have been blessed with such cool people (with deep wallets. :) ) to be able to pull this off. There's been mention of doing this again. Definitely. Just let my my house recuperate for a while, ok? --Tommy is feeling the warm fuzzies P.S. I think that this must have earned me some karma points, because I got pulled over for speeding coming back from Movie Night and got off with a warning. :)
STLBX 2003 - Dance till you're blue in the...
Apparently, it was that time of the month for me. I was a bit late; however, that was ok; because I was able to resolve some personal issues since the last time. And once it happened, it was a big relief for me. I was starting to get really worried. The St Louis Blues Exchange proved to be an amazing time. It ended on a bad note for me, (i.e. sick as a dog) but I have never has such high spirits with so low of an immune system. For this exchange, I joined forces with some of the other Dallas-ites (Greg, Helen (Yes, even though she lives in Ft. Worth, she's considered a Dallas-ite.) and Andre) going to STLBX. We rented a car and headed over to the "Un-Cruise" Dance of the evening. We were supposed to be cruising up and down the Mississippi River, but alas the propeller was broken. On a positive note, the bartender provided some extra liquid happiness to make up for it. I got to see the Arch, tho. So, I was quite happy. Little by little, I started seeing people that I recognized from previous exchanges and St. Louis was becoming more and more like home to me. After the cruise, I begged everyone to stop by a White Castle for their tiny burgers which I had never had before. Andre warned me that it was toxic waste. I should have listened. Then, we headed to the late night event at Fusion Dance Studio where Helen slept in the Car and I refused to give up until the DJ was done (~4AM) We traveled to our hosts place where we amazingly enough didn't wake her up because she's an Mech. E. student who was up late working on homework with her beau, Ro. She let us in and I slept like the dead. Rob, the X-local, pointed us to some amazingly tasty BBQ and I even discovered a poster from back home in the window of a Fish market. We also ran into some other Lindyhoppers and tried some imaginative blues dancing with cell-phones (Greg's phone had the best advice which was to keep "Looking for Service" .). We then jumped off to the first Friday Dance, where I realized how naked I feel without my camera. Between dances, I shot back to our hosts place and got there in time to watch the wacky antics of combining mini-tricycle races, dancing and roller-skating all in one package. Back to sleep at 5AM. One guy was even lucky enough to say, Ahhh...I have women at my feet. I woke up bright and early (Read: 11:30 AM) to go to the Blues Dance Workshop which I hope will make a huge difference and look forward to taking back to Dallas. After the class, which was done near a fountain with a beautiful backdrop of the St. Louis Arch, we decided to jump in the fountain and see what happens. Well, we got wet. Lotsa wet. But thankfully, no one ever fell down. One thing that will never cease to amuse me is how 50 people can be dancing in a fountain, but the moment it starts raining, they will run like rabbits for shelter. The rain continued to greet us, and we remained determined to last this through. In the end, we won. One bathroom induced shower later, we were off to The City Museum where, yeah, it was for kids, but HOLY COW, I had too much fun. I think I danced maybe 5 songs, and ran around with my camera and my youthful psyche for hours. There were dozens and dozens of places to crawl through, get stuck and take pictures of. There were airplanes to crawl through. Old, old comic books. Things to pet. 3 story slides. Big Galoot Underwear. Toys. Lots and lots of toys. I can't wait to get back there once their 10 story slide is operational!!! Oh yeah, and some good dancing and a nice massage. Before the late night, a few of us went to Have a Nice Day Cafe where we Lindy-bombed the place. And then off to Late Night where I was starving, but didn't want to stop dancing. Although, some people wished that I would have. Moooree sleeeeppp... By this time, I feel as if I've done enough exercise, that I can properly treat myself so a grease-ball burger from Rally's. One of my favorite burger places back in college which doesn't exist here in Dallas. So, Greg, Rob and I pigged out before starting our dances at the History Museum which contains the famous Spirit of St. Louis. It's also here that I grew a new appreciation for my last name. I could be more funke, but I'm proud to be a Falgout. Because I could be something else. Apparently, St. Louis also has a high Catholic population. So much so that they have their own Catholic Supply store. Apparently, you can actually buy a Savior. Before we started the final late night of the weekend, some of us went to the grocery store for snacky-treats. This lead to more food dancing...and even some food dancing affairs!!! Also some naughty Austin Exchange Paddle pics. Everyone wanted to get involved. And Diva Jeff putting up a great show. The late night also had some structural beams which lead to a few interesting moves. Plus I got to hang out with some cool froods and even some drunk ones. By this time of the night, I was dead. My body, totally exhausted. My immune system, left for Istanbul, leaving me feeling like I just got run over. However, what also really made my day was coming home, and giving my roommate some money and having him come back with exactly the type of milk I like, OJ with extra Vit C and E for immune pump-upping, Aleve and oats for my breakfast. He's the shitz-bomb-diggity. To summarize. STLBX: Good. Mark: Good. Not taking care of immune system: Bad. I give it 4 and a half "Yarrs!" The only thing I was hoping to get out of the exchange that I didn't was to work my balance issue. I guess I'll have to go back next year to get it rights. Sucks to be me. Yeah, I know. :) --Snoopy Kiss is ANXIOUSLY looking forward to the Auction Party.
· 6 min read
Hey! That's my uncle!!!
http://www.msnbc.com/news/967824.asp?0cl=c3&cp1=1 Imagine my shock when I got a short message from my mom with the above link asking me to check it out for a surprise. For those that have read the entire article, I’ll let you know that it’s true. Yes, some of my uncles hunt alligators, and one has even bitten my dad on the hand. And a nasty scar, it did leave. Apparently, my Uncle Bill on my mother’s side joined in on fun that same hunting trip and found a friend. They also got an 11 ½ footer. Growing up in Cut Off, I knew that no one in their right mind would have ever heard of my hometown. However, as I’m venturing out and meeting more people, I’m surprised to find that it’s not as obscure as I previously thought. At least…not since “she” made it popular. (And no, I don’t think I know her. I might be related to her and might even recognize her better when I see her, but not offhand.) Some people ask if I ever miss Cut Off, and will want to move back. Sternly, I tell them “NO”. Growing up there and everything that happened has molded me into the person I am today, for which I’m grateful. But being allergic to your entire hometown? I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Ok, maybe one person. --Snoopy Kiss is feeling kinda nostalgic…Ok, it’s gone now.
Maryland/Wash. DC - It ain't Dallas.
After taking enough trips for dancing/swing related events, I decided to do something completely different: Accept an invitation to go to Baltimore/Wash. DC to see a wedding of someone I had never met before, a friend of an x-girlfriend. And get some dancing in, if I'm so inclined. As you might know the x-gf in reference is Melissa, the only girlfriend who matched the "area code" rule Lee and I created. (My mobile's 214, so close enough.) We parted on good terms and have kept in touch. I had always seen pictures of the beautiful spread out houses of New England and was delighted to see that unlike my neighborhood, you could walk out your front door for more than 10 straight steps and not be on the road. These people had yards! I mean REAL yards. Ones with more than 50 blades of grass. And hills! And REAL houses. Not ones that have some floorplan as 20 other houses in the same 1 mile radius. While doing touristy stuff there, I saw the Baltimore harbor, had a deee-licious crab cake and observed some of the local marine life. Afterwards, a Asian wedding was to be had and if you know anything about Asian weddings, you know that at the end, you won't be hungry for days. I partook of a 12 course meal, that went on for hours. Thankfully, I shed that shyness layer a while back and I was able to socialize with a bunch of people I'd never met before and even walked out with a small gift! I also did some dancing. Well, I tried, but the music was too fast, and definitely not to my style. I only danced with 3 people the entire night. One of which was a woman who used to live in Austin and was in desparate need of some Texas style dancing. (which I was already missing) I hung out with some of peeps afterwards, and although they were cool enough (they started writing funny sayings on the Equal and pink stuff), the guys definitely don't treat outsiders as well as I'm accustomed to. ("Hey Texas. Go get me some more sugar packets.") The next day I got to play around on a carousel and witness Contra dancing. And then ahhh....back home to Dallas where I've been running around like a crazy person with his head chopped off...but still with all of his motor functions. Err...nevermind. In any case, I've been busy and am finally getting a chance to journal this. -- SnoopyKiss likes the dancing in Dallas, because DC's too fast. And the people are cooler too. Those kids and their damn fast music.
· 3 min read
Kerrville?! Why would I want to go there?
A while back, my good frirend Teel told me about this place called Kerrville. Being somewhat perceptive, I noticed that Teel seemed to like this place a lot. A LOT. Like A LOT, A LOT. No really. More than that. After finally letting my mind accept the fact that if I went to the Kerrville Music and Wine festival, I would have to be camping the entire weekend, possibly w/o showering. I did enough of that back as a kid to know that it's not my cup of tea, coffee, beer, or soy protein drink. However, feeling adventurous and curious, I decided to jump in. I would say that I got more than I expected, but how can you really expect something like Hippies named Shaggy, sampling and passing out numerous Texas wines, skinny dipping and staying up till 5AM with about 20 other people listening to lots of folk music and comtemplating life? Without a doubt, my favorite part of the weekend was being on wine duty, where people would give someone else a dollar for a ticket and then give me a ticket for "a taste" of wine. The quotation marks are because as I "tasted" the wine myself, my "tastes" got bigger. For both me and the ticket holders. It was a win/win situation. Except that I was on a red wine table, and I strictly prefer sweet white wine. But that just meant I got to make friends with ... uh, um ... some vinyard that had a really good traditional Reisling. Man, I wish I remembered who it was. Mind you, snake bites can be pretty nasty. There was also a wedding! By the time it was over, I was sleep deprived to the point where I was seeing things, stinky and having problem comprehending the English language. All the signs of a good time. -- Tommy now thinks that hippies are cool!
Some ramblings
While I was at Kerrville, I did some pondering. And some stream of consciousness work. It's amazing what will come out of your head at 5AM. *These are the days, right? The days where I'm to roam the Earth, footloose and fance free, right? The days where the World is at my fingertips, I'm experimenting and the only thing stopping me is my finite amount of finances. Yes, these ARE the days. Don't tell me when it ends. I had to work hard to get to this level of blissful ignorance. I don't want to know. As a kid, I thought I'd be married by now. Probably struggling to make ends meet and saving up to by a house. My best friend, my spouce. Reality check: I'm two years past that date, my best friend is a rocket scientist and I've already got the house. No struggles either. Sometimes I wish that I had someone to share all this with; however, since I'm not with them now I assume that I'm not ready.* ...abruptly ended because I needed sleep...
· 1 min read
Not one of those ''water off a duck's back'' qualities
There are those things that you can shake off, given enough time and perseverance. They're usually things pertaining to your ego, identity or self-esteem. However, there are things that you hear or see that stay with you. Things that you keep replaying in your mind in such a way that it does nothing to invoke a deep sense of helplessness upon you. Hearing that Charles, my nephew, is in the hospital after undergoing epileptic seizures is one of them. I got the message from my mom today, and immediately called her back. Apparently, he went through some last night, was sent home from the hospital a few hours later, and then started having some more again. They had a pediatrician come in and he said that Charles is hitting puberty, and this sometimes happens. Never heard of that before, but Hey...he's the one that knows children better than me. I'm still in shock over everything, as this is the first immediate family emergency I've experienced (Grandparents excluded). I'm sure that he'll be ok, but there's always that off-kilter feeling you get after hearing news like this. What makes this all the more creepy for me is that I was thinking about his yesterday and how I'd enjoy having him come to Dallas and we could spend some more time together. -- Tommy just wants everything to be OK.
· 2 min read
It's not even 2AM yet!!!
Ok, I'm upset. Pissed. Fuming. Raging. Why you ask? Because I just dropped and screwed up one of the most expensive pieces of equipment I have here at my house. My near, dear and precious camera. I invited my good friend Audra and Joe to come over and drop Montgomery (the 3 foot pig) as I took pictures of it with the paddle. Audra, being the great person she is, drove long and far to come deliver the pig back to me and as I went to pick up my G3, it slipped out of my hands and went crashing hard onto the concrete, smashing the lens frame and now it won't even close properly. Grrrrrrrr.... To make matters worse, I spent some time working and upgrading my website and now Lee's gallery doesn't have any albums in it. It's got pictures, but you can't get to any of them. I think I need to stay away from anything regarding digital photography now. -- Snoopy Kiss really, really, really, wants that "Rewind" button on his Camcorder of Life right now.
· 1 min read
They can't say that on Television
Oh yeah..I forgot some of the quotes that I either overheard or instigated during the exchange: "Let the a$$ slapping begin!" Our waitress at Minnies - "Our food is really great, which is surprising considering the crappy service." "Carbonated yogurt with Seltzer. It tasted like goat." "Wow, it's like Valley girl meets caveman: Dude...ugg...dude!!...ugg.." "So, you're a fish snob?""I prefer to call myself an fish-anadio" "I hope that's blood.", After slopily eating a steak. "You're going to like what I'm wearing tonight. Bring your Extra brain." "What?! You ate her danish and you didn't even know her name?!" "What makes you think I'm wearing underwear." "We need to start the rumor that all Jews are good dancers.""So, when a girl says 'Good Dance.', I should say, 'Thanks, I'm Jewish.'?" "I don't need a push-up bra. I need a push-in." "Which one is Solomon?""He's the one that looks like Harry Potter grown up about 10 years." "Swing dancing is great. There you are listening to great Jazz and grooving with hot women....some of which ride motorcycles." "He just gives women the look and they come dance with him.""A little big of tongue helps too." "Smirnoff Ice? I haven't sold that to a guy before."
A delicate combination of fast music, blues, and all out insanity.
As Seattle has been one of the most talked about Lindy Exchanges out there, I pondered...who am I to pass up such a great opportunity such as this? Apparently, about 200-300 people had that exact same thought. or maybe some deviation of that thought. or maybe it went along the lines of "Wow, there's going to be some kick'arse women/men there!" (Including the infamous Skadoo) or "Hot Damn! I feel the need to dance to some 200+ bpm song while totally experiencing the whole tribal rhythym." or maybe it was just subconcious that anyone who is anyone should be there. It was all of that and a bag of really finely cooked salmon. Hosted by the lovely, talented, and sexy Mrrree and her beau Jeremy, I was able to browse the finer locations of Seattle, from their balcony. Completely, on a whim, on Thursday night, I attended a performance workshop by Zah-Zu-Zay (2002 American Lindy Hop Championship winners) which we later performed that night. I was also "properly introduced" to the Meghan/Mrreee combo of Seattle fame. After some food and going through my 3rd or 4th wind, I was ready to crash. Which, I did. Quiet successfully, I might add. The next morning, another Dallas-ite, Heather Leigh Smith, and I went roaming around downtown Seattle for some dancing with the local band "Dusty 45's". Later on...there was more dancing. And even after that...even more dancing. Next few days...guess what? More dancing. Random blues-ing. There was also some beach side activities and cutting up that happened about every time I heard someone scream out, "Tommy! Come over here...and bring your camera!" Oh yeah...lots of good naughty-ness with the Austin Lindy Exchange paddle. We also got to visit the famous Pike's Fish Market. One of my favorite dances was in the heart of Seattle, where some "Got Milk?" advertisement campaign tried setting up a concert across the street from us, but they only lasted 30 seconds, because they knew that they couldn't compete with the entertainment provided by 200 people from all over the world (Including France and Australia, let alone 6 people from Texas!). That place is also where I think that I got the best picture of the exchange. It's also where Will finally got to invoke his revenge on an old water fight from the Salt Lake City Exchange. Thankfully, Melissa's a good sport.
Outage...BAD! Seattle Exchange...GOOD!! OBEY MY DOG!
As some might have noticed, my site has been down for a while. This seems to happen right after exchanges. Which is, of course, the worst time for it to go down since I'm ready to start posting pics ASAP for all to see. Hopefully, I will have the Seattle Exchange pics up by tonight for your viewing pleasure. In the meantime, if you're looking for the story of the Snoopy Kiss, here ya go. This is Lee's account. I plan to have mine up soon enough. -- Feeling refreshed. Could be the 11 hours of sleep I got today.
The Avalanches
Earlier this week, I found out that one of my favorite bands, "The Avalances" was playing at the Red Jacket on Friday. "Oh my Gosh! I've gotta get all my friends together to partake in this grand musical concert." So, I squandered up my friends "Lee", John, Eric and Bill. Part of the core gaming group that gets together at either my or Bill's parents house. Anyway, most of the group meets at my house and we pile into my Saturn for a quick trip to "The Jacket". We sit back and have a good time with some cheap drinks only to hear those dreaded words, "The Avalanches will not be playing tonight." NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You people have no idea how much I've been waiting for this. How much I've been anticipating this! How much effort into making sure that my butt was inside the Red Jacket so that I can get primo stage viewing for the only concert that I've ever took an active role in organizing a group to go see! Gahhhh! Thankfully, I was with friends. Not just any friends, but friends that I KNOW that I will have a good time with...no matter where we are. So, we decided to go see "Signs", the new M. Night Shyamalan flick. (What's cool is that he is a major character in the film.) We showed up 5 minutes before it started. Which is very interesting, because a large portion of the movie was about what type of person are you: Someone who believes that luck is just luck or Someone who believes that everything happens for a reason. I, myself, am a person who believes that everything happens for a reason. Now, I don't know why the Avalanches show was cancelled, but I admit that I had a GREAT time tonight. And I also believe that everything worked out so that we could see the very last showing of "Signs" at Cinemark that night. Now I don't know if my belief is "The Truth" or whatnot, but I do know that it gives me hope. When things aren't looking so well, it's good to believe that there's some reason that it's happening. Besides, I don't think anyone knows "The Truth", therefore, you're just making it up from your perspective. Might as well make up something that will forward you. And believing that everything happens for a reason does keep hope alive for me. With that logic...you're reading this for a reason. Know why? I don't. I just have faith that you are.
Jeromy's Gettin' Married!
I've always known that I'm surrounded by some of the greatest people on Earth. I think that God has blessed me in many ways by providing me with friends that care for me deeply and will support me eternally. This weekend, I got to be a Groomsman in the wedding for one of those people that I hold very, very high: Jeromy McDerment. Jeromy and I were Sophmore roommates back in my zany days of college. During that time, I was off persuing my own ways, trying to figure myself and my life out; meanwhile, Jeromy was a strong Christian influence on me which was unwavering and never-ending brotherly love. He and his brother Cliff, and Cliff's wife, Brooke, always amazed me at the amount of pure love and respect they had for each other. They don't know this, but they were my idols back in college. Jeromy and I always used to kid about who the other people was going to marry and about our futures. (Ahem...Annette McDerment!) And now I got to see this lucky girl who Jeromy asked to be his wife. I first found out about Cathy when Jeromy told me that he was engaged. I knew that they were perfect for each other after seeing this picture of them. Now onto the wedding: I carpooled with some of Jeromy's current friends and one of my old Tulane buddies, Aaron Kirtley. (One of the smartest men I know, who just finished MIT graduate school and knows at least 3 languages and is a very humble and pleasant person. Pretty good for someone who also looks like Matt Damon.) We caught up and had lunch together at the mall where we discovered the freaky chicken guy. (Some white guy who wore lots of makeup, had dreadlocks which he wore up while some dreads beaded down his white beret.) We got to the hotel to discover they had Krispy Kreme right across the street. My taste buds were more than happy to take some free samples and eat some for breakfast, dinner and lunch the following days. After the rehersal and rehersal dinner, I crashed after getting only 2 hours of sleep in the last 48. The wedding went almost flawlessly, except for the limo driver who didn't know what he was doing and passed the church on more than one occasion. Here's some pictures from the wedding: One of my favorites: The bride and groom getting heart shaped sugar-paper tossed at them. After the wedding, the two of them couldn't keep their hands (or lips) off of each other. We then went to this beautiful park to take some pictures. Come to find out, we weren't the only ones to have that idea. There were about 5 other bridal parties taking pictures at the same park that time. Some of them apparently had a hard wedding and needed to help loosen up. Some people were also fishing at the park and caught a biggie. Jeromy learned that if you ever need support, to just call on your friends. Following the picture taking was the reception. Were the women had their hands up most of the time either catching stuff, or doing the YMCA. And of course, what would be a wedding w/o the ceremonial wrapping of the groom's car. Maybe I should get out of the way. The next day I went to Niagara Fall's with some of Jeromy's buddies and we had a good time talking about the follys of life, Krispy Kreme, women and of course...how to meet them. The best thing we could come up with was following in the footsteps of this one guy who we saw walk past us with a T-shirt that said, "Available." How much easier could it get except for adding your phone number to the back? Needless to say, Niagara Falls was breaktaking. I forget how many gallons of water flow over each minute, but it was some number larger than my bank account. Oh, and here's something I didn't know. Niagara Falls is actually two water falls. One is "America Falls" and the other is "Horseshoe Falls". People say that the Canadian side has a more attractive view, but I think that it couldn't get much better than where I was standing. One thing I really liked was the cloud of vapor that rose from the Horseshoe Falls. Me and the guys also went on a boat ride to the middle of Horseshoe Falls which was awesome. If you're ever there, you MUST go. Oh, and yes, I took all of those pictures myself. All in all, it was an amazing experience and I am so glad that I was able to be a part of my good friend Jeromy's wedding. Many blessings and much love to you bro. Thanks for everything. 8/5/02 - Just in case you were wondering if I had any fun. :) (That's Cliff and Brooke in front of me.) Here's another good picture of the couple.
Joseph and the Technicolor Strangeheart Colored Coat. Amazing.
Sometimes, there are those days where the World just seems to come at you with no rhyme or reason and you have no idea why. Well, this wasn’t one of those days. This was one of those days where the World came at me, but it was all because of my own doing. Since this is Tax Free weekend, George and I went out to do some shopping and lunch Friday morning. By the time I finally got into work, it was about 2:30. I had some MAJOR catch-up to play in addition to finding someone to go see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with me. Thankfully, Nortel (Greatest place to work, eva.) understands that there are people like me that don’t adhere to a normal sleeping schedule, or even a normal working schedule for that matter, and as long as I’m a good and prosperous worker (which I have confirmed with my bosses), I have certain liberties. Yea me! After a while of searching for someone to go with, I decided to take George as my “Man-date” (Just two guys going to see a play together. No funny business.), and we both really enjoyed the play. Due to popularity, they’ve extended it for another week. Go see it! (I think Lee’s planning a group watching next week, so talk to him.) Then, we were onto Part 2 of the evening. An inebriated watching of Strangeheart at The Magnolia. A movie, along the same lines as Rocky Horror, where audience participation is, not just allowed, but encouraged. So is drinking. Which a number of us did. George and I were accompanied by a slew of people I knew would make this a great evening: Lee, Carolyn, Allison, Peck, Audra and Joe. I brought my homemade “Gatorade” (Read: Midori Sour). Matt Peck had some tasty Buttermint Schnapps that he was passing around. By the time, it got to me a 3rd time, I decided to take a huge swig of it, only to find that he replaced it with pure Gin. I nearly spewed it on Carolyn, who was sitting in front of me. (I’ll get you for that Peck.) Anyway, back to the movie. There are the typical lines that you’re supposed to shout out at opportune times, but I found that our own improvisational lines, belted out mainly by Lee and a few others that were “taken by the spirits”, had the entire theatre in an uproar and were much mo’ betta. Afterwards, a few of us went to Café Brazil for some after movie/drinking food. I was dragging myself around until I finally got my French Toast and I was hit with my 3rd or 4th wind or something. Going to bed, I knew that my biological clock was going to keep waking me up, telling me that it’s time to go to work, but thankfully, I was able to press the internal Snooze button and get my 8 hours of sleep from 5AM – 1PM. J --Snoopy Kiss is glad that he’s not a giant. Because then the only movies he would be able to see is at the drive in theatre. And then, I’d probably crush some cars.
If it makes you happy...
Thankfully, there's lots of things in this world that makes me happy. One of which is helping Lee to update his site so that it has all of the articles from our old Radio Possibility site up and getting the dates correct. I've been ever-expanding my knowledge of PHP and MySQL through this website and my work at Nortel. My new banner makes me happy too. What do I have to write about? Today? Nothing. It's just been a good day. Lots of things are wacked righ now (like the Saturn dealership having my car for many hours and them not being done with it), but it just feels like a good day. One of those days where you've got it handled. One of those days where you've got tickets to Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat and then are going to hang out with some friends aftewards to go see Strangeheart. You might have a sense of what I'm talking about. I dunno. I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new play-thing, the Treo 600. My existing Treo has taken a beating and is ready to be replaced. And as much as the flippy top looks cool and has that Star Trek feel to it, it gets annoying after a while. Yeah! New Technology! --wondering where all the Cowboys have gone.Mr. Falgout
· 2 min read
VLE 2003 (Hey! It rhymes!)
Some hobbies are expensive. Some cheap. Others, like swing dancing are cheap, but if you really want to go crazy with it, they can get really expensive. But now that I think about it, I'm sure you can say the same thing about every hobby. So, nevermind. My latest expense, justified towards redeveloping the growth of the world economy, was my trip to Vancouver for the Lindy Exchange. As some of my close friends know, one of my deep dark secrets is that I have a Canadian Fetish. I don't know why. I just seem to be drawn to them. I call it "Eh-dar". (Speaking of that, look at what I found!) In any case, while I was there, I had some really amazing dances. All too many to single out. (Mostly because I'm afraid that I'd forget someone. I'm also really bad with names. So, chances are, if I danced with you, told you "Thank You.", I probably enjoyed it.) While I was at it, I finally purchased new clothing! Something I don't believe I've done in about 6 months. (Check out the Gallery for pictures of the city and of the dance.) Unfortunately, there weren't too many quotes at the exchange, but I updated the quote page, with other mindless ramblings. In other news, my Pool of Pudding Pictures have become quite the rave. I'm getting calls from managers really high above me asking for the password to get in. --Just a boy looking for your love.P.S. I love my friends. They're insane. But not insane like this.
Any party that lasts 20 hours, is a good party.
You know, I really wish that I could say that I had full control of the God and Goddess party yesterday, but I'll have to admit...there was no holding it back. "It turned that knob to 11." Oh yeah, when I woke up, there was an octopus in my sink. That's how you know it was a good party. We also did have a cop come by, but thankfully the God of Bad Instructions waved to him with his beer bottle and he waved back and drove off. The party went till about 2PM, the next day as some of the hard-core partiers (read: People too tired/drunk to drive home) went to the Original Pancake House for doilies and good grub. I'll also have to admit that this was one of the most fun parties to invite people to. How often do you actually get to be the God or Goddess of your choice for a night? We even had prizes which I bought, but never gave out. Two of the un-official winners were Jenna as the "Goddess of One Night Stands" who had a table, night clock, and other items attached to her. And Lee, The "God of Arrested Development" whose favorite X-mas gift in recent years was a K'Nex rollercoaster which he proudly wore on his head and was even functional! The party was also paid a visit by Cleopatria, The Goddess of Water, The Goddess of Fire (completely unplanned), the Goddess of Fashion and the Goddess of Fashion Faux Pas (I kid you not, also, completely unplanned). George Lucas' Goddess of Marketing, The God of Turn Tables, The God of All Things Shiny (your truly), The Goddess of Unfinished Projects (who went quite well with the God of Unfinished Party Decorating, as I was late on the preparations), The Goddess of All Things Naughty, God's Gift to Women, Goddess of Common Sense (who should also win a prize for spending 3 hours hot gluing about 300 pennies to her already shiny dress), The God of Turntables who kept spinning his live mix till about 3AM and too many other deities to name. It was a truly divine party, that I was proud to host; because there were so many cool people there. About 10% I met at that day. And another 10% I met the day before. :) Pics are up! (Unfortunately, I didn't take too many pics myself, and will get other people's pics up as soon as I can.) Oh yeah, and for those interested, I have the Pool of Pudding Pictures up. Although, due to the "Nature of the pictures" they're password protected, so shoot me an email if you want in. BEWARE! Not safe for work. (That means you too mom.) If you want some of the videos, let me know. This was one of those parties, that I had no idea what I was getting into. How often do you get to see 60 gallons of pudding with people wrestling in it? Yeah...that's what I thought.
Rest...please...
They say that God/life will never throw anything at you more than what you can handle. I agree to that; however, in this past week, I think that I’ve thrown about as much as my body could handle. The weekend before, I went to Salt Lake City for a Lindy Exchange. That was a hella lot of fun, even though the cops came in and busted us for holding a dance past 2AM. It was pretty upsetting as Salt Lake City is trying to be seen as a “normal” city, but still doesn’t allow organized dances past 2AM. As an outcry, I’ve created http://freenate.lastcoolnameleft.com where we hope to raise money for the Free Nate Foundation. (Nate being the person who organized the SLC Lindy Exchange, and is going to court, because of it.) As for this few days, here’s a lowdown: Parents came to town and brought my two nephews, Evan and Charles. It was interesting to have the little rug rats running around the house to see what a real family would be like, but I can definitely see that I’m not ready for parenthood. To spend some quality time together before she headed back to Baltimore, Melissa stayed at my place for about a week. The Master shower drain pan started to leak and my preciouuusss (read: House) started to leak and have all sorts of water problems. Earlene Falgout, my grandmother passed away after a lengthy battle with Lung Cancer. She was almost 90. May she rest in peace. Falgout Family Food Festival!!!! W00t! If you missed out on it, make sure not to do that next time. There was more seafood and other food that we didn’t know what to do with it all. Thankfully, I’ve got a big stomach and appetite. And of course, Melissa’s departure from Dallas. I took a sick day today, to let my body recuperate from all of the stress and it’s feeling much better, but my tummy’s rumbly. I think that there’s been a lot of loss for me recently; however, I’m quite proud of how I’m handling myself and not losing focus that life does go on and that these types of things happen. BTW, if you’re a Matrix Fan, I HIGHLY recommend watching Animatrix. “The Final Flight of the Orisis” kick MUCH holy arse. Carry on, -Me.
5 Years already?!
Didn't I move to Dallas just a few weeks ago?Didn't I start working for Nortel the day after that? Didn't I just buy my house?! Then what the heck is this email saying that I'm getting a gift for my 5 years of employment?!!! Hopefully, that doesn't mean that I'm getting old. Because that would probably require me settling down, getting married, having little rugrats, and being "responsible." I've successfully avoided all of that so far, and I plan on continuing to do so. I plan on having a small taste of this whole, "family" thing coming soon as my house will soon have it's "maximum family stability factor" tested when Melissa stays here for a few days before heading back to Maryland, and my mom and dad come to visit and bring my two nephews, Charles and Evan. Yes, I will be good to see all of them; however, I'm not sure how high my "family tolerance" meter goes to. I bet that it'll be pushed to 11. The Utah Swing Exchange is getting more and more on my mind as the time nears. Yea! I used to think that I would get some of my best new pics at Utah, but I'm starting to think that the prize winners can be the expressions I get when I tell them that I'm going to Utah to dance. "You're going to Utah...to dance?! They have music over there?""You mean, you don't know these people and you're going to stay with them?" I should have my pics from my second trip to the Scar. Renaissance Faire up soon. Word to the wise: Don't go when raining. Blah.
Lots o' Stuff
So, I've realized that I haven't posted here in a while, and I think that's because I usually spend a lot of time working on getting all sorts of links in with my stories, which takes a considerable amount of time. However, since I want this to be more of an online journal and less of a online link-fest, I'm now resolving myself to posting more often but less links. Except for really cool ones. As I'm sure most of you know two weekends ago was the Dallas Lindy Exchange. I was one of the team leads and had a freggin' blast. It wasn't until the Saturday night dance that I finally got my groove on, but once I did, I was ready to jet. Lots, and lots of pictures and even three different albums! (Thanks Greg and Jerry!) Every year, Waxahachie (sp?) is blessed with two special events. One of which is the Hallowween Fright show, and the other is Scarborough Faire. This is a grand Renaisance Festival from April 12th to June 1st. I went once and I'm determined to make it to every one from now on. Gene, Becky and I herded on over there at the bright hour of 9AM. (yeah, I know it's not early, but for me, that's harsh on a Sunday) Mine eyes did feast upon many beautiful costumes and I also had a slight revelation: Not all breasts look good squashed together in very tight costumes. I did end up running into a number of people like the security guard for my building at Nortel, an old friend from Landmark of 4 years ago, and Erin Finn and Teel Flemming. (You might remember these two from a Mardi Gras, and Food and Spirits Party from a while back. They're cool peeps. Just trust me.) Now, the pictures are uploaded and I'm ready to crash.Good night everybody! (Good night Tommy!)
Best Quotes (Updated 2/27/04)
My friends say the darndest things. Thankfully, I usually have enough sense to capture them down and the put them on the internet. Now the latest quotes are updated at the top: Only funny if you live in Dallas: "there seem to be a lot of accidents...especially on the freeways that end in 5" When's your birthday? St. Patrick's Day, March 17th. Oh really? Are you Irish? I feel like the life is being sucked out of me from my feet. Your boobs needs manual intervention Is that a Heather in your pocket? Wake up, ass! I'm going to use your hat as the armrest condom Project for this afternoon: I think I'm going to use this nice rare day and stain a bed. Y'know, paint. She runs like a woman. I swear, if that's a Yoga position, then I'm going join Yoga tomorrow! Ah No! The ugly sock of Christ! It was so hot, I felt like Frodo in the 3rd Matrix Movie. What the Hell's eating him? I bet you it's not his girlfriend. You had to put up with a lot while dating xxx. Was it the challenge, or was there anything else? Well, some people climb Mt. Everest. And others date xxx. I've got an empthy thing. If you're sad, I'm sad. If you're crying, I cry too. I'm horny... Mistletoe is always a good idea. Better watch it, or you're gonna get cream sauce all over your hoo-has... Now with more God. So how is it that God creates us both, man and woman, in his image? He's a hermaphrodite? Shallownees is only skin deep. I don't go on dates because I'm po' Our people don't make the difference. Our customers that buy our shit makes the difference. She's a Catherine with a C. Can't you tell? F*ck the cow. I wanna be a boy. I have a full license to operate the cookie. I'm just a lesbian with a built in strap on. Now with more tongue. "You know you're drunk when you can't feel what you're eating anymore." "They go together like Oreos and mayonnaise." "I never realized you were white until I saw you dressed like this." I have a customer on the line who's pissing me off! I'm about to be a faggot on a rampage! Let the a$$ slapping begin! Our food is really great, which is surprizing considering the crappy service. "Carbonated yogart with Seltzer. It tasted like goat." "Wow, it's like Valley girl meets caveman: Dude...ugg...dude!!...ugg.." "So, you're a fish snob?""I prefer to call myself an fish-anadio" "I hope that's blood.", After slopily eating a steak. "You're going to like what I'm wearing tonight. Bring your Extra brain." "What?! You ate her danish and you didn't even know her name?!" "What makes you think I'm wearing underwear." "We need to start the rumor that all Jews are good dancers.""So, when a girl says 'Good Dance.', I should say, 'Thanks, I'm Jewish.'?" "I don't need a push-up bra. I need a push-in." "Which one is Solomon?""He's the one that looks like Harry Potter grown up about 10 years." "Swing dancing is great. There you are listening to great Jazz and grooving with hot women....some of which ride motorcycles." "He just gives women the look and they come dance with him.""A little big of tongue helps too." Smirnoff Ice? I haven't sold that to a guy before. "Well, you know 10% of people are gay.""No No No No No. Only 5-7% are..." "Sounds like someone's in the 8 percentile." Is this corn starch or cocaine? Dude, I'm going to find out. I gotta go. My Depends are riding up on me. On dancing connection: "We've gotta give equal forces...like our friend Issan Newton said." This bar is very secure in it's masculinity. You know it's a good blues dance when you have to adjust your clothing afterwards. Somewhere, there's a trailer park that's empty, and a tornado that's looking for something to do. Whatever you do, you can do it better with more women. You know you're drunk when you don't know whose navel you sucked it out of. You've been a bad girl! Go to Tommy's room! Were you supposed to ravage me, or was I supposed to ravage you? You were supposed to get me drunk. Oh, should I drink you more? Put the jailbait down. Don't make me bitchslap you where it counts. I have a nine inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears. Rod, what are you doing back there?" I often have my head in the clouds...when it's not up my ass." Is he your boy?""Tonight he is." It's called foreplay! You damn men. That's what's wrong with you. You don't take your time. Would it hurt you to heat up the pan before you put the meat in it?" At least I'm a nice whore." Oh, I thought you were a lesbian." On movies: "He seems to only play black people." Vegetables are what food eats." Your hair is so silken. It's like the rope they bound Gollum with." The more you eat...the more you drink...the more you throw up...the more you can eat." Wiskey always makes me butch." The water fountain doesn't work and someone bit me!" I just got sucker punched by a 6 foot 2 blonde amazon. I'm supposed to be embarrased, but I actually like it!" Everything's fine. Better than "Cats". I wanna see it over and over again." Jesus loves everybody. But I'm his favorite." His Lindy hurts me. I got a grey hair last year. That'll never happen again. All I need is a psychologically damaged man with good abs. I look foward to dancing West Coast...when I get old enough. I'm a musician. I play the radio. Any party that lasts 20 hours, is a good party. You know it's a good party when there's an octopus in the sink. I have to remember to shave when I come to Tommy's parties. I forgot about all of the man-handling. This little piggy's hung over, this little piggy's hung over, this little piggy's half in the bag, this little piggy had LOTS and this little piggy went WHHHEEEEEE!!! Testostorne...We're helpless under it's power! Mmmm...Mormons You don't know whose fault it is? It's the fault of the wang. Don't blame the wang. If there's a white girl telling you to shut up, you better SHUT UP! Your mom said, "woot." When Luby's starts closing down, you know the economy's going down. Damn, that was the part of my brain that did long division. That was a double combo of happiness. And what do they think happens to the placentas in the wild?! My new instrument is my voice; because it's, like, so portable.
Coincidence?!
WARNING: This post links to some pretty graphic stuff. Don't say I didn't warn you. A while back, a friend of mine, Matt Musselman told an interesting story about how he was searching through some porn one day and came across one of his X-girlfriends. Pretty shocking, mind you. Well, I got curious enough that I asked him if I could see it "Do a Google on 132991.jpg. She's the one in the middle." Not too shabby, I realized. So, I started poking around (pun intended) some of the other pics ... and came across 132980.jpg. That's when my jaw dropped. FLASHBACK When I went to Tulane and all of the dorm rooms had ethernet connections to them, it was awesome. Except that I didn't have a computer that could make use of that (Stupid Packard Bell)...so, I had to bum off of other people. This one time, I went to a friend's dorm who had the almighty Internet connected to his computer and after bugging him for a while, he gave in and showed me how Internet porn works... (wow, I wonder how many hits I'll get from saying the word "porn". There, I did it again.) This first post we went to talked about these girls sunbathing nude at their dorm room and these guys that started taking pictures of them and they invited them back to their room to take more pictures of them. BACK FLASH You're getting the picture by now, aren't ya? Yup. My Virgin Internet Porn Experience was from Matt's X-girlfriend. We later exchanged notes and determined that it happened not too longer after their breakup. Wow. Thankfully, we're at the stage in our lives where we can laugh at that. Unfortunately, I can't find the original chat session where it started, but here's a transcript of him and another friend named Matt talking about it. LOL...it still cracks me up.
Lots happening. Just not posting.
Bonsoir tout la monde, A heck of a lot has been going on since last I posted. US has gone into war, Melissa and I took a vacation around Texas, my B-day, lotsa lotsa working. I could write about it all for a while, and I might but I've been trying to take care of the basics. And on the basics, I just finished watching an amazing Mini-series called "Band of Brothers". It's an HBO original mini-series about the Easy Company for WWII and their experiences. It's directed very similarly to Saving Private Ryan, but is about some of the paratroopers (who I've been told on a separate occassion, have an average life expectancy of less than a minute.) Anyway, it seriously moved me and although I cannot say that I now oppose war at all costs, I now have a lot of respect for anyone that has seen combat and the catastrophic result it has on the people in the thick of it and those that never even pick up a gun. May God keep us safe and at peace for as long as we all shall live. On a very fulfilling sidenote, I think that I've found my place in life. People spend years, decades in search of their "perfect job" I think I'm there. Currently, I'm developing tools for Nortel that are taking a lot of the manual configuration out of the picture and creating a web interface for it. I'm now at the point where some of my co-workers are using the tool and thank me in the hall for doing it. How rare and awesome of an experience is that? I've also received an Intenuity award from my senior management, so my name's getting around! :) Here's to living the Good Life.
· 2 min read
Food and Spirits Party
Being from Louisiana, food is a major topic of conversation with me and my friends, and I constantly hear, "You know, I make the best " Well, I gave those people a chance to put their food where their mouths are. Or someone else's mouth to their food...anyway, you get the picture. Plus, I made it into a contest with prizes! Also, since a few of us were so inspired by what we saw at Lindy Gras, we knew that we had to re-enact parts of it. Naughty us. And speaking of naughty...my pig had a good time too. Ride the pig! (or Erin. Either way is fine with me.) Back to the food...Some of entries were: EXP appetizers (brought 3 hours after the party started! :) ) Couscous a la Melissa Girl Scout Cookies DA-BOMB Sushi (Some in reference to previous mischief at Chef Tommy) Gourmet Mac and Cheese A most tasty Filet Mignon Taco Salad Mucho Alcoholo! 125 Jello shots! …bunches of other things that I have forgotten, or didn’t eat because I was quite toasty that night. (Many mega super happy thanks to Andre and Angie who brought me liquid happiness: Smirnoff Ice!) One of the more interesting events was when Matt M. bet me $5 that I couldn't eat one of his Sushi rolls without blinking. Scoffing at his offer, I got a big crowd to watch me as I threw the tiny morsel of seaweed in my mouth. For about 5 seconds of chewing, I was fine. Then it hit me. Once everyone was satiated, Teel whipped out: “The Tingler”. Words themselves cannot describe the sensation of being “Tingled.” Next time you’re out dancing at the Sons of Hermann, ask Teel about it. Just make sure that you’re sitting down and don’t get too carried away, else you’ll contort it and then have to pray to the “Tingler Diety” for forgiveness. We then sprawled out the always-faithful party-enhancer Twister. Except Helen had something else in store for us: Jello Shot Twister. If you landed on a spot that had a shot, it was yours. The prize for winning the Twister match? Once again…Tommy’s house. I tried defending my title, and almost succeeded. I got too anxious and knocked everyone down (including myself), so the judges defaulted to me, the defending champion. (Studio 54 Party) However, it was then noted that Helen took the most amount of shots and was on the mat the longest (we didn’t start at the same time), so in the spirit of the Olympics, Helen was the declared the winner. But it’s now been 24 hours and she hasn’t claimed her prize, so I get to keep the house. Woohoo! :) After some more drinking, it later hit me, “I should stop.” So, I did. But the room didn’t. Many many glasses of water later, I was ready to bed, which happened around 4AM. There were still people on my couch chatting, but like I tell people, when you come to my house, you’re family. Which also means, don’t expect me to fix your plate. :) When I woke up, those left over from the party, (Myself, Melissa, Lee, Janice and Brian) were treated by the master cooking skillz of Monsieur Gibson. Complete with homemade waffles topped with strawberries and syrup. For those that missed out…next time bring a pillow. Some of the more interesting quotes overheard: On how to have the most out of life: "The more you eat, the more you can drink...the more you drink, the more you throw up...the more you can eat" Let's not do that again: "Wiskey always makes me butch." Let's do that again: "Whatever you do, you can always do it better with more women." Let's make sure do do that again: "You know you're drunk when you don't know whose navel you sucked it out of." On tough issues: "Hit one little brown kid with a Stretch Armstrong and all of a sudden, YOU'RE the racist." No parking here: "These (lift boobs with hands) are just for show." Bad girl, good girl: ", you're being a bad girl. Go to Tommy's Room!" (I did not say that! I swear!)
Lindy Gras 2003: This ain’t your average exchange
Now that I have been exposed to the deep, dark underground that is Swing Exchanges, I will admit that I have become addicted. On Feb 14-17th, I danced and partied my arse off in New Orleans for their first exchange, Lindy Gras. I was hesitant to make the 8 hour drive there, since I waited too long to get tickets at a reasonable price, but Greg and I later decided that we’d make the hike together. We finally arrived at our David’s (our host for the weekend) very shag-a-riffic house around 7PM. Equipped with a dry sauna, pool, and a Jacuzzi, I knew that this should would be perfect for crashing after the 1-5AM after hours dance parties. At this point the party was Gene, Dan, Craig, Greg, Helen, David, Jeff, and myself. Needless to say, Helen enjoyed the ratio. But we had a problem. We were hungry. David, once again, had the great hookup because there was NO WAY we were going to find a restaurant with a decent wait time on V-Day…on a Friday night. So, we went to a club with a live band and some home cooked jambalaya for a $7 cover charge. I was in heaven. Let the dancing begin. With full stomachs we headed out to the Registration/V-day dance not too far from my Alma Mater, Tulane. Met some people. Danced some dance. The generous people of New Orleans even put on a “Dating Game” skit for our amusement. But then the real dance fever came out…at the after-hours Pajama dance. I was in my comfortable “Suga’ Daddy” regalia while others donned more fitting nightware. Oh yeah, watch out for the Killer Frogs. Not all were able to hang in till the bitter end, but some tried. The following morning, David took us out to Jaegers on the Lake, for some good eatings. It had been too long since I’ve had boiled crawfish, so I was quite content. Thankfully, we didn’t get into too much trouble since Jeff was harassing our waitress and she swore that we just let him loose out of a Psychiatric Institution. But my food craving were not to be completely satiated until I got my beignets. Man, I miss Café du Monde. Back in college when I had the only car, I would be my friends’ beignet/car pimp. If they needed a ride, they would have to feed me. Café du Monde was the standard payment. Strolling around New Orleans, we felt the urge to visit Coyote Ugly. Who knew that we’d find so much good clean fun? (Complete with the down home hospitality.) Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves quite a bit. Even Helen and Jeff. Thankfully, Jeff didn’t mind us sticking him in the trunk since we didn’t have much room in the van by then. Back to dancing! We arrived just in time to watch them crown the King and Queen of Lindy Gras. Lo and behold, the Queen was Dallas’ own Jamie! But before heading out to the After Hours party for some more 1-5 dancing, Andre, Greg and I decided to be boys and visit Bourbon Street for some sights. Believe it nor not, my favorite was the disproportionately sized truck. Timing was apparently on our side, because right as we got back Andre jumped into a Birthday Jam for him and a few other Lindy Gras’ers. But not everyone knew that it was Andre’s Birthday. J Afterwards, Jeff and Atalanta did a good job of stealing the show. (FOCUS, Jeff!) …sleeeeep… My mom and sister (on left) were in town, so I went to the Olive Garden and had lunch with them. Let’s hear it for free food! J I then drove like a demon to Lindy in the Park. Here’s where I’m going to get all sentimental on ya, so just brace yourselves: Growing up, I was always the social outcast. Everyone poked fun at me, and I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere, except with the other outcasts. Even then, it didn’t always feel right. When I went to college, I didn’t really do much. I stayed inside, played on my computer, rarely partied, and only drank once or twice. Needless to say, I’m making up for it now. So, when I was dancing in Audobon Park, right across from Tulane, it was a truly spiritual experience for me. It was a testament to how far I’ve come. How much I’m enjoying life. How rich of a life, I now have. And how very grateful I am. I’m really happy with how some of the Park pictures turned out. But then again, some of the best pics are done with the cooperation of Mother Nature. Good dancing too, next to a lake. Just had to make sure that I didn’t fall in, or do a swing out and find my partner all dripping wet. (And not in a good way.) This was the "say goodbye" dance for lots of people. Nap time. Then the last dance of the schedule: Rock and Bowl. Take an old fashioned bowling alley, add some very tired, but party hardy swing dancers, and a DJ, and you’ve got Rock and Bowl. (Plus a little celebrity endorsement.) A brief, but fun finale to the scheduled dances… And that’s when the cat’s got let out of the proverbial bag… Bourbon Street. World renowned for it’s drunken fests, parties, good music, great picture ops and dancing. Now add people who know how to get drunk, get their party on, deal only in the best of music, love attention and traveled hundreds of miles to dance…that might give you some small sense of the intensity of the night. I could write an entire journal entry just on Sunday night, but I’ll only give highlights. Some dude asked to see girls boobs. Got punched in nads. Hard. Andre went in search of a Pimp Daddy Hat Heard my favorite Teenage Lipstick Lesbian Russian Band, Tatu, playing at the Cat’s Meow. 6 person Charleston Lindy Bombing every 2 blocks Andre’s Hat gets around Pat O’s Piano Bar Revelries Mary and her dips LindyChef gives HyprChick a B-day dance. LindyChef tries to re-enact his stripper experience and dances for LindyPhil. Jeff strikes a pose Piggy Back Body Rolls Needless to say, this was one of the grandest times of my life. It’s two days later and I’m still trying to catch up on all of my sleep. Some of the more memorable quotes of the weekend were: “What better way to say someone you love than with beer?””Say it with a lager.” (After the lights came on at 5AM and people were screaming and running away) “We’re like roaches!” “Munbah netch kha””You read my thoughts!” “Full contact Lindy Body Shots” Insight: “Demons are spawned from (chocolate) Jeff’s loins.” On a church outside sign: “Stop Drop and Roll doesn’t work in Hell.” “Hey Baby, wanna go out?””Save your breath for your inflatable date.” ”She cancelled.” In reference to Jeff’s loins:”Bring the Devil out.” ”Is that what you call it?” Heard from someone who needed to talk to a fellow Lindy Hopper that was driving away:”Stop the wedding!!!” “There will always be auta’s, shoulda’s and woulda’s” Count the boobs: “If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them both.” Spoken by the lead singer of the Blues band after mentioning that it was his birthday:Murmur from the crowd. “I’m a pussy?! Oh, a pieces.” On kissing: “Have y’all kissed yet?””Not officially.” “Don’t hate the player…hate the game.” “Sometimes, it’s good to be the bitch.” “This weekend raised the bar. But then again, the bar is now at lesbian booty.” Passing by a cop from Venus, TX: “I’ll be damned. There is a guy from Venus.” I wish I had a more profound ending to this story, but all I can come up with now is: Thank you, New Orleans. Now I’ve just gotta get myself ready for my own “Food and Spirits” party this Saturday and practice giving Penalty Shots. Then, another possible trip back to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Phew. It’s a good and busy life. Gotta love it. And when I got back, my new toy was waiting for my at my doorstep. I'm so happy. You can see all of the pics here, and the best of the pics here.
Lindy Gras a cometh
For those still not aware of my new habit of going to Lindy Exchanges, get used to me mentioning them. I should be hitting quite a few this year. The latest one which I am preparing myself for tonight is Lindy Gras, hosted in one of my old neigborhoods of New Orleans. Most of the dances will be right by alma-mater, Tulane. I’m really looking forward to it. Although the drive (Yes, I’m driving there instead of flying), will be quite an 8 hour hike which I’m not looking forward to. Thankfully, I’ve got Greg to keep me busy. Plus, I just found all of my missing MP3 CD's! Yea! Each CD is about 11 hours of music, so we’ll never run out of music. Yarrr! I’m also planning another trip down to New Orleans in two weekends for the classic celebration of Mardi Gras. This time, George, Lee, Michael and I are planning to make the journey. I’m not sure how that will turn out since George is our more “pure” friend joining us. I wonder how his brain will handle the massive visual breast intake. Will it fry his brain? Or will Pat O’s do it first? Planning a trip to New Orleans always concerns me. Living there for 4 years and hearing about your friends getting mugged, I’m always the cautious one, watching my step. I hope that this will be a safe time for me and my fellow Lindy Hoppers. May God keep us safe. Especially through this time of international tension. I hope that no crazy guy decides to bomb New Orleans while we’re there. Pray for a safe trip for me. Dancing like there’s no tomorrow,Moi. P.S. I also have the pictures from Matt Weyandt's 80's B-day party up. It was a total blast, dude. Complete with Rubix Cube cake and almost working Atari's.
No shit?! ... Shit
The above conversation was an excerpt from a conversation I had with a drunk kid one recent Sunday morning when I told him that I told him I graduated from Tulane. (where he was studying) I then told him that he was a long way from home. Drunk people amuse me. At least the ones you find at Denny's and IHOP at 1-2 AM. Having had a relative killed by a drunk driver, that is about the extent of my tollerance of them. Oh yeah, and then there was that time where Evil Roommate Steve was so drunk that he got me laughing because he was so loony. At one point he turned to me as he was sprawled out on the couch and said, Hey Tommy. What? PHART. In some sort of dumb male way, it was really funny. But not as funny as Whataburgerwhat? Heh Heh. On a less than humerous note, the growing tension surrounding Iraq and N. Korea. Part of the US is Pro-Peace, and part is Anti-Saddam. I don't know where I stand yet. I think that a peaceful resolution would be to the benefit of the world, but how? And what can I do to help? As I drove by downtown Dallas last night, looking at the skyline, I turned to it and said, "Don't go anywhere...ever." I'd hate for one of the building in Dallas to be destroyed and then replaced by a less than practical solution. Peace Out! (And I mean it)Tommy.
Good Bad Movies
One of the traits I feel I'm blessed with is the ability to laugh as most any situation. This comes especially in handy with bad movies. I'm not talking about Bad Movies like, "Waterworld" or "Toys", but BADDDDD MOVIES like, "Jack Frost 2: Revent of the Mutant Killer Snowman", "Tromeo and Julliet", or "Jason X". The "straight to video" movies. I think that watching these movies opens up your mind and soul for a new type of experience and sensation. One where your mind's third eye is opened and and aware to new way of being and life...then stabbed by a runaway killer zombie who used to be a simple farmer, but turned the wrong way in the cornfield and decided to examine that mysterious puddle of goo coming out of the smoldering rock that wasn't there yesterday. If you've ever seen "Teenage Catgirls in Heat", then you know what I'm talking about. Last night, I prepared myself for another ones of these experiences when Lee and I were exploring Movie Trading Company and he found this one flick, "The Specials". The tagline is: "Not as good as regular superheroes, but slightly better than you.". It has Thomas Haden Church (Lowell from Wings), Rob Lowe, and one of my new favorite actors, "Sean Gunn" who plays Alien Orphan/Doug. The movie opens with a quick monologue by one of The Specials' biggest fans. She says that The Specials weren't the "cool" group to like when she was in school. She then says "Screw that I liked Winger better than Bon Jovi, I still do!" It has its slow moments, and it's hilarious moments, but if you have an open mind, then I promise that after watching this movie, you shall reach a higher level of movie consciousness. Buddah in the House, out.
· 2 min read
So far, So good
New Years are always interesting times. Finding out that Dick Clark is still alive, people are coming off of the X-mas hussle and bussle, there are more drunks on the road, people are cheerier than X-mas, and of course, the opprotunity to clear off the slate and start new. Interestingly enough, the gathering I was at for NYE didn't turn on the TV until the very last minute of 2002 and ended up counting down the seconds in Spanish, because we didn't have time to change the channel. Afterwards, they had a Spanish Ska band which was interest capturing. I'm proud to say that I don't feel as if I have anything that I need to wipe off, but do have some new directions I'd like to take my life. And although I am typically against resolutions, because I think that they don't amount to nothing. This year, I've taken on some ones that I look forward to rather than feel would be a burden: Attend at least 3 Swing/Lindy Exchanges. (I've already registered for SoFLeX, Dallas will be a given, and Denver looks really cool.) Learn to cook something new once a month. Travel more. (This goes hand in hand with the Exchanges.) So far, the 2003 is going well. I spent Jan 1st taking two movies off of the Movie List, vegging out, waking up to the smell of cooking pancakes, played some disc golf and had some of the best hot dogs on Earth. All that an I've started to develop a taste for NPR, which I listened to. Some of the things I think will happen next year is that I will have owned my house for two years. I will probably be roommateless for the first time in about 3 years. Lee will be graduating and probably move to some far away city. I'll miss the guy. And I plan to install a hardwood dance floor downstairs. That'll be fun. But in the grand scheme of things, who knows what will happen. All I know is that I plan to enjoy it extensively. In the words of Roooth Acosta, "Bring It On!"
Make it stop...make it stop!!!
Going to visit the family is, of course, always a pleasant thing to do. Have home cooking from mom, chat about the future with dad, kid around with Michelle, play with the newphews, etc., etc., etc. However, there is one party of going to Cut Off, which I abolustely despise. My allergies. Plain and simple I'm allergic to my hometown, especially my home. It didn't bother me for the first 24 hours, but soon after I wrote my last blog entry, I would be found roaming the halls doped up on Benedril, Claritin or whatever else I could find with a box of Kleenex in my hand, like a patient with an IV trailling them. It was absolutely miserable. Thankfully, my sister needed a babysitter so mom and I drove up to visit her near Nawlins, and in the 8 hours that I've been away from Cut Off, I have started to ween myself off of the Kleenex and make a visible recovery. I'm walking upright now. Yeah. My main concern is recovering in time to go dancing at the DSDS Holiday dance. I'll be driving directly from the airport there, so if I do make it, I've got a long, fun road a head of me. Let's hope I'm an animal enough to make it. After taking the "Which Muppet Are You?" test, I found out that I'm Gonzo. That'll do.
Merry Christmas
Normally if I don't write anything in a while, it's been because not much has happened; however, it's been quite the opposite as of lately. About a month ago was Kathy and Jerry's wedding. For those that haven't been blessed yet meeting these two crazy kids, they are two amazing swing (especially blues) dancers. They've been dating for eons and finally tied the knot. The wedding was at an old hall that I remembered going to a freaky fashion show years earlier. At this fashion show they had H. R. Giger-esque models going on and even guys suspended in midair by hooks going through their back. All very creepy stuff. Anyway, the wedding was nothing of the such. It was a good time where people came from all over to see the happy couple celebrate their marriage. The festivities and dancing went till about 1-2AM. Good party. (Don't forget to check out the pictures of their red leather couch.) Another good party was Janice's Christmas Tree Decorating Party, where I got to meet Janice's boyfriend, Brian, who is quite an accomplished West Coast Swing Dancer and is an all around cool frod. Lanelle, Andra and Kirk (who I still think looks like Bono of U2) all joined in the decorating. I later used the leftover ribbon to decorate my Medusa Lamp at the house as a makeshift X-mas tree. Good party. Next weekend, one of my favorite bands, the Polyphonic Spree threw their 3rd Annual X-mas party at the Lakewood Theater. Along with the devoted fans wearing choir robes, were some very bizarrely dressed peeps from some girl wearing an original Battlestar Galactica outfit, to someone in an HR Puffnstuff outfit, and of course, the "non-skirt" girl. There was also an alien ventriliquist, Mickey Mouse, and of course, Tim Delauder, the lead singer of the Polyphonic Spree. He da man. To top the show off, was a definition in absurdity: A fashion show/hair cutting extravaganza. Once the PS walked off the stage, they announced that they were giving free haircuts to anyone wanting to come up stage. Since my hair has been getting pretty shaggy, I considered it, until I saw the absurdity occurring on stage. It was more of a "Random shaving" than a hair cut. I was glad to have kept my locks of hair...even though they are getting too long for me. Good party. I currently find myself in Cut Off, LA. For those unaware, Cut Off, is my hometown. To give you some type of perspective, we had 7 towns for our one high school with a graduating class of 263. I'll let you do the math. Anyway, it's about an hour southwest of New Orleans and is surrounded by marshland. Last night was the Falgout Family Christmas party where I got a chance to pick up my accent again and listen to some of the most hilarious stories of my dad and his brothers growing up. Some I plan to post up here, some I dare not. All of which almost had me in tears, laughing. Good party. Today is Chrismas. While wearing my Sugar Daddy PJ's, I "bachelor wrapped" my family's gift by putting their gifts in different compartments of my backpack and telling them which zipper to open. We were all amused. My big present was tools from dad to work on the house with. Yar! I hope that your stocking was filled with your wishes and you're surrounded by those that love you. Merry Christmas,Tommy.
An Interesting Night Dancing.
As of yesterday, it had been way too long since I had been dancing. And I was itching to change that. SO! I donned my new chapeau, which I picked up at Hot Topic and headed off to Sons of Hermann Hall. I caught up with a few friends of mine I hadn't seen in some time, and just had a freggin' blast. I also heard the best Pirate Joke ever. It would lose it's interpretation over the Internet, so next time you see me, demand that I tell it to you. YARR!!! Then as a group of us were walking to our cars, I learned a surprising about of information about a fellow Yehoodi poster in just once brief sentence: "Man, it's been so long, I think my hymen is growing back." When I didn't think it could get much funnier than that, I heard someone say, "What's a hymen?" I told him to go back to High School. And to top it off, seven minutes after midnight, I got the most bizarre and amusing answering machine message of my life. (Warning ~1Meg big) For those that can't make it out, she's singing about a cat coughing up a furball. Ack!'s included. Let's hear it for bizarre messages! I'm still snickering over the pirate joke. Heh heh...C'EST TOUT BIEN!!!
What I'm thankful for...
I realized that I am not only surrounded by some of the greatest people on Earth, but those people are also great cooks. This attribute comes in quite handy, especially when you're cooking for a feast like Thanksgiving, which is what we all did yesterday. For me, it was a "Home Away from Home" Thanksgiving Feast, because my parents just left a few days ago to go back to Cut Off. And I am quite happy to call these fine culinarians (my friends), family. The main course was our cooking experiment in Southern goodness - Deep Fried Turkey. None of us had performed this maneuver before, so everyone did their research and gathered their assigned ingredients. Easily enough, I supplied the house, some peanut oil and the all important 2x4 piece of wood, which will be explained later. Lee gathered a 12 lb turkey from his work at Hirshes' and the all important "Flava Injector". Nejdl's brought the nice and shiny "Bayou Classic" turkey fryer. We were ready to rock and roll!!! Of course, other traditional Thanksgiving items that could be found in the kitchen were Apples, Strawberries, Pecan and Pumpkin for our pie eating pleasure. Our guest list was: Me - The hostLee Gibson - Cook Extraordinare Liz Gibson - Potato and Apple Pealer Mascot Rusty Nejdl - The Frying Overseer, and Ice Cream Chef Sarah Nejdl - Provider of Powerful Female Aura, and Precise Flava Moderator The Fergusons (Kevin, Patty and their child Eric) and - Provider of Family Values Jeff Stowe - Comic Relief and Cleaner of the Dishes Rachel Clarke - Late comer, and Fun Interrogator The prepping of the Turkey was a bit more exciting than we anticipated. I kept hearing about how some unfortunate cooks had their house burnt down from their turkey frying events. So, needless to say, I was a bit worried about doing this in front of my house, after seeing various warnings. However, I put my faith in Lee and Rusty, who are both top notch Boy Scouts and went about my hosting buisness. One important step was that we had to inject the turkey with it's Flava. Thankfully, we had some experts in that arena. (Interesting virtual slideshow: One, Two, Three, Four) Then for cooking the beast, we thought that we would just lower the turkey into the heated 4.5 gallons of peanut oil and wait. Thankfully, the aforementioned Boy Scouts were prepared and used a long wooden beam to lower the turkey into the hot pot. Much bubbling and spewage ensued. I hate to think what would have happened if they would have used their hands. About 30 minutes later, like a Beautiful Symphony of Culinary Delight, everything came together perfectly. The carrots, the potatos, the salad, the wine, the cinammon bread, the turkey, the Everything. Of course, the Master Chef Gibson had first dibs on the turkey, and was quite pleased with the results. Then...we ATE LIKE KINGS!!!! Ten minutes later...Tryptophan attack. Few were free from the Turkey's Revenge from Beyond the Grave. Except for Jeff, who started his "calming and soothing" process of washing dishes. Noone dared distrub him. 40 winks later, the house started to smell differently. Mmmmmm...pie. And once again, the feast began. But this was no ordinary dessert feast. We had homemade ice-cream and homemade whipped cream made which was designed to send us straight to taste bud heaven. After everything was all said and eaten, Rusty pointed out that NOTHING was store-bought. Everything we ate was homemade. One thing I'm thankful for is friends that know how to cook...and do it quite well. Soon after, the Fergusons left, baby in tow and the rest of us chilled, drank Espressos, played Tribond and discussed just about everything under the sun: Cure for Poverty. Positive impact of 9/11 on NYC. Dreams (Paintball with Pierce Brosnan???). Difference between Nerds and Geeks. What we would change our first name to (I'm just glad I'm not Barney.). The reason why Tommy has those stuffed animals. Favorite non-bathing suit place to be touched. (Back of knee-cap???). Homeland Security. Age of friends that we associate with. Wild animal we'd like to have as pet. (Ex: Dolphin, piranna, tiger) And a whole bunch of other subjects that I can't remember because we finished up around 2-3AM. All in all it was an AMAZING time. You can see the album for the entire event, here. And for those that missed out...I've got lots of leftovers. :) So, come on ova', ya here?!
Falgout Family Food Festival
Every so often, my parents realize come to visit me in Dallas. And every so often, my place gets cleaned like it never has been before...my laundry is also done and neatly folded with matching socks...some put off household chores are done...my freezer is stocked with seafood...and the world-famous Falgout Family Food Festival. On the menu this time was: Shrimp Fetachini - prepared by Mom (The photographer) His Masterfully prepared Brie - Lee A Tossed Salad - Allison ??? Chocolate and Fruit Dessert - Valerie Squash Casserole - Rachel Kickin' Green Beans - Rusty (also some White Wine) Apricot Bars - Sarah There was not a single bit of food that was not completely enjoyable. The conversation was good too, as Sarah retold the "Jergen's Story", and my dad, and Lee, and Lee's dad was able to converse with Valerie who is originally from France. The other great thing is that Mr. Sushi Matt and I will be able to eat like kings for a very long time. Rusty also brought over "French Connection" and we were able to knock another movie off of the enormously big "Movie List". The golden generation of the party were remenicent, but the rest of us were quite bored. The pictures that my mom took can be found here. Ca c'est tres bien! (except for the big pile o' dishes)
Movie Night (Updated 11/16/03)
On Sunday, May 26, my life changed. I found out that I was not whole and complete because I had missed out on a major part of American culture: Movies. So, to help me become a better person, my friends helped me compile a list of movies that I have yet to see. To undertake this huge task of watching all of these movies, (over 250) I will start planning "Catch Tommy Up on Good Movies" parties at my place. If you wish to join us or have an addition to the list, email me. Movies Now Seen: Requiem for a Dream - Everyone kept telling me how horribly depressive the movie was. I guess some part of my brain decided to flip the switch and force myself to be amused. Yeah, there were some pretty upsetting parts, but I thought the best character was the fridge. Had me rolling around in laughter. Twin Peaks (TV Series) - "Who Killed Laura Palmer?" Saw the pilot. Sorry Matt, but it just didn't catch my attention. Tommy the Musical - "Tommy's Cool, OK?!" That was one of the posters seen in the movie. I think that I finally found my life mantra. Pretty decent movie. Kinda confusing at times, but keep your eyes open for the cameo appearances. Le Dernier Combat (Luc Besson) - Don't see it. I don't even think it was done by Luc Besson. We ended up fast forwarding through the whole thing just to see if there was a surprize ending. Nope. BASEketball - Trey Parker and Matt Stone can get away with just about anything now. I think they were granted Diplomatic immunity in Hollywood, but the news never got out. This movie was wrong in about 200 different ways. All of which had us laughing and me on the floor rolling around. All that and the best site gag ever. Go see it. Don't tell your mom. Cure - Japanese psycho killer movie. Imagine killing your wife or some random stranger and then slice an X into their throat...why? Because you were hypnotised and it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Deliverance - Wow. This was one of the movies I felt that I had to see because it was a classic, but wouldn't be that good (i.e. Soylent Green), but it was surprisingly delightful. Delicatessen - French movie done by the same guy as Amelie. Another dark French comedy. But not nearly as distrubing as Man Bites Dog. Pitch Black - Van Diesel and aliens. What else can I say? I fell asleep halfway through it. Man Bites Dog - This movie had nothing to do with dogs and everything to do about a dark French comedy with a killer who's making a documentary about himself killing people. It got really gross at time. Not for the faint of heart. The Specials - Oh my Lord! Talk about one of those movies, that prove you can't judge a DVD by it's cover. Lee pointed this movie out to me while at Movie Trading Company and we both scoffed at it, thinking it would be really stupid. I then suggested we watch it...because it would be really stupid. And that it was. But in a really funny good humored way. I now own that DVD. Amazon Women on the Moon - By the creators of Kentucky Fried Movie. Sketch Comedy. But not nearly as good as KFM. The Godfather - Wow. Another Classic, which I thought would be lame. Just as intense now as back in the 70's. Now I must see Parts 2 and 3. The Perfect Storm - Once again, George Clooney amazes me. I keep relating him to his GQ, stereotypical macho, handsome guy that doesn't have much acting ability, but I think he did really well in this. Of course, watching it with my dad might have had an influence since he was a fisherman and my dad and I have gone out shrimping and fishing sometimes together. French Connection - As part of the Falgout Family Food Festival, Rusty brought over this movie. My dad and Lee's dad ragged the rest of us that had never seen of it and how great the car chase scenes were. Note to possible future viewers: There are no car chase scenes. The oldies of the group (Mom, Dad, Lee's Dad) enjoyed it. The youngies (myself, Lee, Rachel, Allison, Rusty, Sarah, Valerie, Matt) agreed that it was a very boring movie. City of Lost Children - A French movie. Very bizarre. Had one of the same guys as from Amelie. I'm sure that I would have liked it a lot more if I was in the mood for it, but I wasn't. So, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Not a movie I would watch twice, so it just might stay there for a while. Four Rooms - 95% of the way into this movie, I didn't get it. It's a Quentin Tarantino flick, but you've really gotta strap yourself in for the long ride tho. But I promise, it's worth it. Mulholland Dr. - Uhh....what was that about??? Like most of David Lynch's stuff, it doesn't make much sense, but you can tell that there's a deep involved plot behind it, but that would take too much brain power to figure out. And besides, after seeing, it you feel like your brain is mush, so good luck. It was a very interesting movie, because I like bizarre twisted stuff like that, but it even made my head go pop. Oh yeah, and there was an interesting lesbian scene in there. Most of the guys were cheering when it happened, because Mr. Lynch was messing with you the whole time building up the tension between the two main female characters. Many lewd jokes from the peanut gallery followed. The Legend of Speed - Another "Midnight Asian Movie". Not nearly as good as Attack the Gas Station, but still a quality movie. To state it quickly, it's like a Japanese "Fast and the Furious" Attack the Gas Station - This is part of the "Midnight Asian Movie" festival held by the Asian Film Festival of Dallas. For those that aren't in the know, at the Magnolia theatre, they show a FREE Asian movie at midnight. This is one of the funniest movie I've seen in quite a while. So much so, that I'm purchasing it. Let me know if you'd like for me to have a showing of it as I'd be more than happy to. Seven Samurai - #8 on imdb.com's Top 250 Film list. The Magnificent Seven is based off of this move, but in a more modern tale. I really enjoyed this movie, even though it was very lenghty and the plot advancement took a few hours. It was an over-all really good movie. Another black and white movie. Dr. Strangelove (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb) - Bizarre. This is the late Stanley Kubrick's last movie before 2001, and was done in black and white. It was quite boring at the beginning (I fell asleep), but picked up in a very twisted way at the end. Thankfully, we had a real Dr. Strangelove buff with us watching and told us about the neat behind the scenes about the movie. As a classic, I recommend it. Das Boot - INTENSE! This is THE ORIGINAL sub movie. U571? Feh! So much of what you see nowadays in movies is nothing more than a copy of this original German movie about a WWII U-boat and the hell (psychological and physical) that it's crew went through to fulfill on it's orders above and beyond what my mind can comprehend. It also covers the mistakes made by the German army at that time and how they weren't too happy with Mr. Hitler at that time. Good movie. Human Traffic - This was recommended by "Rusty" as a movie that's not great, but when you're finished, you've got a huge grin on your face because it's a happy movie. How true he was. Yet another movie that came out as a big surprise to be a good flick. There's no protagonist/antagonist conflict, but it's a movie that when it's done, you're left smiling and feeling good about life. Pi - I remember seeing the poster for this movie right after Se7en (one of my favorite movies.) came out and thought, "Wow...just another rip off." Well, I was wrong. It's not a rip of off that great movie, but a very strange movie by Daren Aronofsky about a mathematical genius who is obsessed with determining a sequence of number that has some vague connection to that infamous number Pi. SLC Punk - Amazingly enough this was a REALLY good movie. I was expecting it to be full of bad acting and other not so great classic movie-isms, but the acting was really good and so was the plot (The trials and tribulations of an angst ridden anarchist growing up in Salt Lake City (SLC)...home of the Mormons.) Go - Previously watched. I think I was one of the few people that enjoyed it. It follows one of my favorite quotes, "Life begins at 3AM." Soylent Green - Not a great movie, but a small portion of my life is complete because I've now seen Charleston Heston yell, "Soylent Green is People!!!" Fight Club - GOOD MOVIE! Makes me want to start my own Fight Club...but I wouldn't tell anyone about it.) Harry Potter - Despite the negative publicity for it being a children's book, this was a really good movie. I highly recommend. The Sweetest Thing - Typical movie of women discovering live, love, men and why they're still single. Engh... Oceans 11 - Really good movie thus proving that Julia Roberts will be eternally beautiful. North by Northwest - Good Alfred Hitchcock movie. Not my type of movie tho. But definitely one of those that I'm glad that I've seen. O Brother, Where Art Thou - Apparently, this movie is based on Homer's "Oddessey". I haven't personally read the Oddessey, but I know that it's mostly based on Mythology. Thankfully, I did have some people who knew it and was able to point out the parallelisms out to be. (I like hanging out with smart people.) Definitely a good movie...I bet the soundtrack is good too. Monster's Inc - Not to be confused with Monster's Ball. This is the animated movie by Pixar. One of the things I love most about Pixar are the short movies that they put at the front of each of their feature movies. This one had me rolling around laughing. All together, it was an amazing movie. Just make sure to watch it all the way through the credits. The Man Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down A Mountain - I learned a bit of English trivia watching this movie. All Hugh Grant movies have a love scene in them. Yup. This one too. A quaint movie with a nice pretty plot and filled with human spirit. And the girl from "Run Lola Run"...a movie I haven't seen yet. 2001: Space Oddsey The Cook the Thief His Wife and Her Lover The Shining Attack of the Killer Tomatoes This is Spinal Tap Raising Arizona Chocolat Clash of the Titans Doom Generation Logans Run The Gods Must be Crazy Movies To See Tron Planes, Trains and Automobiles Old Yeller (Am I going to cry at the end of this?) Taxi Driver Bonnie and Clyde My Big Fat Greek Wedding Rashomon (Japanese Movie) Lord Rama Brazil Subway (Luc Besson) The Big Blue (Luc Besson) Yamakasi (Luc Besson) Groove Tube Supercop Orgasmo Devil's Advocate Krull Phare Du Four The Adventures of Barron Von Munchausen The Barber Being Light When Harry Met Sally Grave of the Fireflies (Anime) Highway 61 Nil By Mouth Kafka Shindler's List In the Name of the Father The Name of the Rose Full Monty Green Mile Young Frankenstein Full Metal Jacket American History X Defending Your Life Fist of Legend Groove Nowhere Fucked U-Turn Pushing Tin Casablanca Eating Raul African Queen Guess Who's Coming to Dinner One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest Carrie Chinatown 9 1/2 Weeks Body Heat All the Presidents Men Moonstruck The Last Castle Butch Cassidy Behind the Green Door The Sting The Hustler The Great Escape Being There With 6 & an Egg Roll Sex, Lies & Videotape Multplicity The Longest Yard Rush Heaven Can Wait Michael Dog Day Afternoon Scarface Tha American President Notting Hill A Knight's Tale Frankenstein Silent Movie Grand Canyon Fahrenheit 451 Mr. Mom Author Author The Rose The Road to Morocco Platoon The Others Sex and the Single Girl Gidget Regarding Henry Animal Farm Fletch Forever Young Powder The Patriot City of Angels Time Machine (original) Starman Enemy Mine Star Chamber Andromeda Strain Breakfast Club M. Butterfly Sleeper Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, but Were Afraid to Ask Westside Story Jesus Christ Superstar Godspell Hair Big Wednesday St Elmo Fire Paper Moon Beaches Private Benjamin A League of Their Own Them Dawn of the Living Dead Misery Suspect Fatal Attraction The Jerk Women Behind Bars Last Dance Green Beret Billy Jack 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Fast Times at Ridgemont High Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion The Truth about Cats and Dogs While You Were Sleeping Entrapment Groundhound Day What About Bob? Stake Out Fargo Dangerous Liasons To Sir with Love Zorro the Gay Blade Romancing the Stone Don't Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead Pacific Heights Prince of Tides What Lies Beneath The Deep Ed Pushing Tim Arthur Micky and Maude Benny and Joon Bound Decadent Night in Tokyo Paper Chase Best Little Whorehouse in Texas The End High Anxiety Midnight Cowboys Space Cowboys The Day the Earth Stood Still Pollack Diner My Dinner with Andre American Graffiti Ordinary People (Have I seen already?) Same Time Next Year MASH They Shoot Horses Don't They Out of Africa The Natural Rudy Turning Point Gentlemen Prefer Blondes For the Love of the Game Donny Bosco Bridget Jones' Diary Jason and the Argonauts Fritz the Cat The Boxer Wild Things (I recommended this to myself for the Denise Richards/Neve Cambell apperance.) The Bound Dangerous Choice The Color Purple Blue Lagoon Yellow Submarine Black Rain Wild at Heart Giant Iron Giant Citizen Kane Trading Places The Piano Living Out Loud Copycat One Joint 9 to 5 9 Months Rain Tree County The Committments Twilight Zone Family Disturbance My Life In Pink Wings of Desire Elizabeth Timecode Cube Ghost World Dead Again The Tall Guy Dial M for Murder Midnight Cowboys Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf The Apartment Todo Sobre Mi Madre Killing Zoe Dangerous Liasons Bad Movies to See: Dr. T. & the Women Desperate Living - John Waters
Saturn adventures.
As many of you know, I own a Saturn Sports car, and love it profusely. I've been through a lot with it, and still hold it, like all things I care for, dear to my heart. I took it to get checked out and as soon realized that I hadn't eaten in a long time. After talking to one of the salesmen I asked if there was any place to eat in walking distance he offered to take me for a "test drive" and then we could go pick something up. Highly honored by this request, I still declined. He later came to me and said that they had "copious amounts of Wendy's Chili" in the back. Not turning down FREE food, I went to the back and chilled out with the Saturn folk and saw my future car. Mmm...Sky. Unfortunately, they're only making about 1,500. So, I'll have to be waiting outside the Saturn dealership line like I did for my PS2. My stay at the dealership took a lot longer than I was told, so I wasn't happy about that, but the free lunch allowed me to easily overlook that small setback. Afterwards I went out swing dancing and I learned that pretty much no matter what mood I'm in, dancing will cheer me right up. Someone once told me, "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." Since that doesn't jive with my morals and beliefs, I've altered it to say, "is to dance with someone else." It's not nearly as catchy, but fits me quite well. Y'all be good now, ya hear?!
A few of my favorite things...
Jean Reno and Luc Besson. You put these two guys together and you know only good will come of it. The latest installment of their blessing to the rest of us people is the movie "Wasabi." As is typical with my latest set of favorite movies (About a Boy, Attack the Gas Station, Amelie, etc.), this is a foreign (French) comedy. I used to think that I would never be interested in foreign comedy, because very little of it actually made me laugh. However, this one really got me good. What also makes this movie especially great was that I kept seeing pictures for it while I was in France and wanted to see it, but the whole "Non-English-Subtitles" part kept me away. So, when my friend Lee said that he scored two free tickets to it, I knew that my time had come. Lee, Liz (Lee's sister), Matt and I made a stop to what Lee refers to as the Happiest Place on Earth -- Chipotle. Mmm...Burritos. For those that aren't familiar with Chipotle, they make Burritos. And not just any Burritos. God's Burritos. If you haven't had one yet, then DON'T run out the door yet. Wait a few more hours till you're really good and hungry, then go! The thing about them is that their Burritos are so big that they beep when they back up. And like all good food places, it's not just the food, but the atmosphere which makes it king. Just go see for youself. You'll be glad. Oooh...parents are coming soon. Gotta make the invitations for the Falgout Family Food Festival! Good night, Chief! Good night, McCloud!
A New Level of Manhood
Grr...I was almost finished writing this post and I accidently hit the back button and lost all of my work. Grrrrr.... Anyway, I was in the middle of telling you, all of my loyal viewers, that I reached a New Level of Manhood. Today, instead of calling a plummer to fix my toilet problems, I opted to take matters into my own hands and fix the problem myself. And the most amazing thing happened...IT WORKED! :) Of course, there were a few setbacks, like having to turn off the water to my house instead of just the input valve because that valve's broken, but all's well. (Especially since the parents are coming in for a visit and Dad's going to help me with the house.) I've also cleaned up one of my pictures which I've been pointed out offends some people. Now I am not interested in censoring myself, because this journal is a place for me to openly express myself, and if you're not interested in reading them, then I request that you unbookmark this site and go about your buisness. However, in hindsight, I can see how one of my previous pictures was a bit too crude, and I've taken it down. In the immortal words of my good friend Lee, "It's all GOOD!"
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New Lady in my life and 8 Mile
In the past 10+ days, I've had quite a few things open up for me. One of which was the meeting and dating of Miss Melanie Rusk. Raised in Midland, Texas, Melanie (who also dons the name Trillian Prefect), and I met a few times earlier Swing Dancing at the Red Jacket, Sons of Hermann and Bass Club. On the Wed. before Halloween, I invited her to come dacing with me a few of my very wacky friends at Kempi's Night club. We had a good time and I was hoping to see her again at my Studio 54 Party. Alas, Miss Melanie was sick. Not to be deterred, I told her, "That's ok. If you can't make it I'll just come over and cook you some gumbo." One Studio 54 Party and a bowl of gumbo later, Melanie and I were watching Amelie (an amazingly good French movie) together on her couch. After much conversation, I realized how glad I was that I had the opprotunity to meet and cook for her. She really struck my fancy. After seeing the pictures of her at the Halloween party, my parents now call her, "My Lady in Red." One of the things which has really been a pleasant surprise for me upon meeting her was how much we actually talk about what's bugging us. Typically, if I met someone I liked and something happened and it bugged me or if I had a concern about something, I would just stuff it down and not bring it up. And I would do the same thing over and over again with little things, until I got the point where we were dating for a while and then I would just have a total release session that would not be pretty. Well, Melanie's great because she will work with me on the things that bug me. And as I'm learnings. Lot of little things bug me, but I typically don't even notice it. Another cool thing is that she's a devout Christian. And even though I've questioned my faith these past few years, I've always knew that I wanted to be with a Christian. Don't ask me why...it's just a Tommy thing. Anyway, she's been a good influence on me and we even went to Church yesterday to watch my Lee sing in the choir. It's all good. On a completely separate note, Matt and I went to go see 8 Mile this night. It starts the controveral rapper, Eminem and is about a young man's frustration and angst and how he uses rap as a release. I had heard that this was a good movie, and although, I didn't know what it would be like, I was once again, pleasantly surprised. It was a really good movie, but I wouldn't recommend it to my parents, because of the generation gap thingy. Quality flick. It also had me see how blessed I really am. God...you my #1 ..err...Dude! Of to bed. I've got some cool Perl programming to make happen for my boss!
Studio 54 Party...total success!
I'll write about the amazing Halloween event later, but I've gotta get the Studio 54 party out on paper (be it electronic, or whatnot) while it's still fresh in my head. Before the party started, I had a TOTALLY crappy beginning, as I did some poor planning and scheduled the party 2 HOURS after finishing a course at Landmark. Well, the class took a bit longer and then when I rushed to my car, I found out that my car battery had died and wasn't going to easily let me leave the parking lot it was so comfortable at. After some panicy actions, I finally got my car started thanks to my good friend, Cliff. Pre-party preparation started with myself, Lee Gibson, Lee Blum., Lydia (who left quite early) and Mark blowing baloons and decorating the place. Noticing that Lee B. and Mark didn't have costumed, I figured that I need to remedy this. So, I made Mark take off his shirt and pants and don a Toga I had from a party a while back. A joke was then made about Lee B. not having a costume to which she responded with the immortal words, "What? Do you want me to go home and put on my G-string and Leather chaps?" At that point, I don't really remember much else of what happened. I could have passed out for all I know. But Lee said that she didn't feel like going back to her place in Allen, and opted to just walk around in her Harley jacket and a bra. Quite an acceptable substitute in my book. Little by little, the guests stared showing up in their beautifully done costumes. Kelly as Miss Havisham, some girl from Great Expectations that got stood up at the altar. Sarah and Rusty as hip 70's looking people. Lee, who went at Santa Clause just to get pretty girls to sit on his lap. Matt in his Jumping Asian Outfit (which apparently was REALLY from Asia). Andre and his lady all dressed up. Laura in a Swingish outfit. Holly in a neat outfit that I can't really classify this late at night (3AM). And Matt Weyant donning his Russian hat, complaining about Capitalist swine and their horrible alcohol. Cliff, Erin and ??? (God I feel horrible for not remembering Erin's friend's name, who was a VERY amazing dancer) And, of course, our very bizarre and eccentric host...Disco Stu. Some of the highlights of the evening were: Multi-female dippings Multi-male dippings The surprise dippings Night at the Roxbury re-enactments Girl on Girl dancing The really mixed up Conga Line Stu's Fantasy The Electric Slide And of course...the COUCH O LOVE! The horrible, immense, torturous tickling session which followed the aforementioned "Couch o Love". (Which definitely hurt...but in a very good way. A good and naughty way.) Then there was the time that Mark tried lighting his shoe on fire so we had to pin him to the ground. Matt showing off his frilly rump. And of course, the party foul committed by the host himself...the ceremonial breaking of the wine glass...with his foot. The last of the hardcore partiers left around 2:45. So, as far as parties go...this was definitely a swinging party. Lots of dancing, lots of really cool people and conversation. Lots of dancing and posing too. And if you didn't go to the party, consider this your warning. Do not miss the next one. (Which was already under discussion. Possibly an "Un-birthday Party") I think everyone enjoyed themselves thoroughly. Love, Sunshine and Disco,Stu. P.S. A special thanks go out to those that came to the party, especially those that brought stuff, and even more so the essential cool lights, Disco ball, and liquid pleasure. It was very much appreciated. P.P.S. If you want to see the whole gallery, click here. Rusty also posted his own pictures, here.
Those Special Words that Mean So Much
In this society of uncertainty and insecurity of ones future, there are always those little things that managers can say to you that have you realize that they're not going to lay you off anytime soon. Today, I heard those special words... Working in Nortel's 3rd Generation Wireless Department (3G/UMTS/Wireless Data), I'm developing this script which will be able to configure their servers automatically in a matter of minutes. You see this, is a big deal, because many times, it takes people hours if not days to configure their switch properly. So, needless to say, this is a BIG deal. And I'm the brains behind the operation there. Anywho, I'm doing all of my development on this separate workstation I have in my cube. And everything pretty much resides on it. I was talking to my manager today about future roles for me and he said that he wanted documentation of everything, because "If you were to die tomorrow, we'd be screwed." (If you haven't caught on by now, those are the Special Words I was referring to earlier.) Some people might think that's morbid. Some people might think that means I've got more work to do. Some people might get a power trip from that...but Me...I think that's AWESOME! (Ok, maybe I enjoy the power trip a tad, but that's ok.) You see, I have now proven my value to the company, and future productivity now is vested in my staying with Nortel. Now yes, I know that once I'm done with this project, that I can be canned, but I've also got a few ideas up my sleeve that I can prevent to management for future job security. :) Feeling good about myself and looking forward to the Studio 54 party on Friday-Me.
Will you be my HO tonight?
First off, the title is the beginning of a very interesting story that goes against everything mom brought me up learning. It started off with me going swing dancing at the Sammon Center for the Arts where there was going to be a costume contest. Some of the people there looked really good while some looked really evil. (The front of her T-shirt says, "Evil" in blood read.) Of course, I got decked out as Disco Stu and rocked the casba. My friend Andre then approached me about heading out to the Lizard Lounge for some good happy time at a "Pimp and Ho Costume Contest" Never turning down an opprotunity to shake my groove thang, I happily joined him and his girlfriend. But I was lacking one essential piece of the puzzle. A Ho. So, I turned to this really charming girl I just met and blurted out, "Will you be my Ho tonight?" After not being able to get in touch with her friends who she was supposed to hang out with for an after party, she grabbed my arm and I took off...complete with my wench ... err...ho at my side. The Pimp and Ho Contest was more than a specticle worthy of wating in the outside drizzling cold for. Some of the people were totally self-expressed in their Pimp-Daddyness. There was even a female pimp, that was quite the Mack Mamma. But they were all infinitles compared to the Mack Daddy of the Pimp Daddies. He won first prize. And then came the Ho's: If you can pay close attention to these next few pictures, you will see that just about every male fantasy was present on stage. Heck, there was even two girls that flashed. You like Zebra's? They had them. Transvestites? Yup. Them too. Overall it was a great time. My legs are definitely in pain from the football, earlier today, the hours of swing dancing, club dancing and standing around. Thankfully, I had little enough sense to say, "Hey, Maybe I should take a break." and went out dancing instead. The rest of the night was spent discussing Europe, Programming HTML, dancing and francais parlant avec Miss Scarlet. (My Ho for the night.) Life is grand, n'est pas? Click here if you want to see the whole album.
Leftover Party
A good friend of mine, Amanda, and I heard of a really interesting idea. It's called a Leftover Party. The name's not too appealing, but the idea is definitely curious enough to have me throw one. The way it works is that you bring a "friend" of yours that you might have dated at one point, but that you think they're a really cool person, and would recommend to your friends, but there's just no spark between the two of you. So, that person now becomes your "undate". So, you and undate now go to the Leftover party and meet other people and their "undates". Tomorrow, Friday, October the 24th, I'm throwing one of those parties at my house. Theoricly, it would be half and half guys and girls, but so far only 3 "couples" are coming. :) Hopefully, there'll be an even amount. Regardless, I know it'll be a blast. And next week? STUDIO 54 PARTY!!! The place to be in Dallas on Nov 2nd. (I was also told there's going to be a Pimp and Ho party this Saturday, so Disco Stu could get a lot of visibility the next few days. Which is good, because he's been sitting in the closet for quite some time lately, itching to shake his grove thang.) PeacE!
Countdown to Hallowween
Many years ago, some friends of mine and I created a monster. This monster has become known throughout the globe as Disco Stu. Disco Stu, some say, is my alter ego. But I tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that Disco Stu is more than an alter ego. He's a modern Disco diety. And all the women worship him. Anyway, two years ago, Disco Stu signed up for a costume contest at Kempi's night club...and won!...$500 smacks! Needless to say, everyone was impressed by this feat. But Stu knew that it was from the power within. The following year, while I was living in Paris, my good friend Patty K., took over the contest by wearing a costume caked in blood and bobbing birds, imitating the movie "The Birds" and walked out of Kempi's half a grand richer. Needless to say, she's been bragging about it for almost 365 days so far. Well, those bragging rights are about to be over, because Stu's back in town. Here's a bit of banter back and forth that Patty and I had regarding the upcoming Kempi's Hallowwen party this year: Patty (via Mary Muldoon): You will EAT MY DUST and the feathers too. Tommy: WOMAN! You betta RE-CO-NIZE!!! Just wait until the Mothership of F-U-N-K comes landing on your doorstep. Then we be seeing who be eatin fethas! Patty: **Okay Mr. Funkmeister - we'll just have to see who RULES ! I got fresh birds, and word has it - they eat FUNK for lunch! And they'll be plenty hungry come Halloween eve! We're out for Bloooooood Baby!** Tommy: **From the Eastside to the Westside, everybody knows that when I shake my Southside, the women start going Tommyside. There ain't NO way, you'll be getting your hands on my green. It's mine, and you betta get it through your skull, honeychild. Peace, Love and Fro's, Mr. O. (as in the Big One.)** As you can tell, this will be an awesome place to be at on Hallowween. If you're interested in joining us, let me know.
Hanger Dance and Fox and Co. Party
My evening consisted to two totally awesome parties on completely different ends of the spectrum. I started at the Fox and Co Investment party, where I was given free Margarita's and food. What else can I say? I was in Heaven. The theme was Cowboys, so a bunch of people got dressed up in their typical outfits. And I also learned something...I love women in cowboy outfits. But it ended on an even higher note as I left that party to go to a once in a year event hosted by the Flying Vintage Museum, called the Hanger Dance. This was a truly magnificant site to behold. People decked out in their vintage outfits, a live Big Band a B-17 behind them, and pinup girls on the walls. I had missed it the past 3 years I knew about it in Dallas, but I will be sure to never miss it again. Oh yeah...and women in sailor uniforms drive me wild too. Check out the gallery for pictures to both. Hanger Dance Gallery and Fox and Co. Party Gallery
The Transporter
If you're already seen any of his movies, (5th Element, The Messenger, The Professional, Le Femme Nikita), then hopefully you already know this. However, his latest movie "The Transporter" kick much arse. (I'm trying to refrain from cursing, because I found out that my mom REALLY DOES read my website. :) Thanks mom.) Not to ruin any part of the full movie experience for you, I'll tell you what myself, Lee and Matt learned from it: How to hotwire a Mercedes How to hotwire a human (or the machine that goes PING!) How to hotwire the door to someone else's house. Always keep scuba gear (and a spare attachment) in your basement which is connected to the sewer. Letting female hostages go potty on road trips is a bad idea. And a few other things that could be useful in some unforseen future. When hiding out after attacking the bad guy's stronghold, watch out for anti-tank missiles Quiet is good. Too quiet is bad. It really sounds like the main character read my friends' "Rusty" and Sarah's "Worst Case Scenerio" book and was prepared for everything.
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Good/Bad Influences
You know how there are those good influences in your life? And those bad influences on you? And then there's those "Good Bad" influences. Well, my friend Lee is that person for me. We've been coming up with a few ideas for T-shirts to make. Some of them good, like (ask me if you're curious) and others, like and (Yet another really hilarious story behind this one. If you have been raped or are offended by this picture then, I apologize. The story/picture combo is just too good to pass up.) Of course, all of these are copyrighted. And it seems like everyone one of my friends that I tell about this, wants one of the t-shirts. I usualy have to tell people the context, but it makes for great stories every day. I figure that with enough promotion, we'll get the Christian Colliliation beating down our doors in no time. Who knows...maybe I'll get to see my mom again. :) (No offense, mom.) And today I was talking to Krystie about my upcoming Halloween party. I had so much fun at the Toga party last time, that I figure it's time to throw my own. But, I want to be original, so I'm going to throw a Studio 54 Party I've got the wacky friends with the great imagination, I just hope that everyone else can bring the costumes! If you think you're up for it, email me and we'll coordinate. Till then cheers and much love and partying! Tommy.
My Car!!! (Toga Party)
So many events...so little time that it happened in...I'll try to be as brief as possible, but good Gaud!...So much happened. It started off with a Birthday Party invitation from my friend Suzyn, who was throwing a Toga party with another friend Celena A. Diamond. Determined to not make the drive by myself and to brind my favorite partying and travel companion, I informed Lee that he was going to be joining me on this trip. Since he had such a crappy week beforehand, I knew that this would cheer my main man up. The plan was to leave after Lee left work and I would pick up the clothes (For the Toga) and other materials (laurel and grapes for women to feed to us) for our little adventure. I did forget to get Suzyn a b-day gift, so we stopped by Carl's Corner, TX to find an appropriate gift. After much searching, I found what I was looking for..."A Carl's Corner Toothpick Holder.", some beef jerky and a postcard exaggerating the size of the crickets in Texas. After picking up some alkeyhol beverages, and more grapes we arrived. Before walking into the party, Lee and I donned our new attire and "ran on up in there!" to be the new lives of the party. Little did these inhabitants of the Toga Party know that their night was going to change because we were now there. I immediately joined up with a few of my friends, and maaaaadddd partying ensued! They started to dish out birthday wishes and cut some apparently good cake soon after we got there. It was great to see some of my old friends, Cathy, Suzyn, Cecilia (Sorry if I spelled your name wrong there.), and Celena (the awesome hostess of the evening.) As well as meet some new ones who's names I don't remember...but faces I shall never forget: (Thankfully to my trusty digital camera) "Cowboy boots Toga girl", "Scary Neighbor Jimmy", "Girl with Cool Shoes", "Girl not wearing a Toga but kept with tradition by going Commando", "Guy mixing Mardi Gras and Toga Party", "Anthony...Alfred...Author...whatever.", "Holly and Paula." Here are some other really good misc pictures that I can't afford to pass up: "God Bless photography", "Lee wanted me to destroy this picture...So here I am putting it on the Internet.", "Dude! I just totally grabbed your ass! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that...and I did a really poor job. If you want me to make it right, you can come back and I'll do it again.", "Gaudess luv.", "Umm...your toga's too small.", "The picture of the night.", "It's good to be Emperor", "Uhh...umm...I'm sorry...were you just saying something? I got distracted.", "I see Toga People." After many, many hours, the party died down...That was at about 3-4AM. Then, little by little, people started to trickle off. And then there were 10...More talk...more chatting...more people leaving. And then there were At which point, Lee and I started mellowing the party out by telling our tales of The Polyphonic Spree, and how we think they are God's Gift to music. (They're going to be in Austin on Sept 14, so Austinites BE THERE! Lee and I might be making a trip down there again to experience this.) This, plus a few of our other amusing stories and Lee's huge lexicon kept the group entertained for quite a while. Suzyn and "Anthony...Alfred...Aurthor...whatever"'s left...And then there were 4. More music, more chat...And then it was 7AM. "Uh guys...wanna go get some breakfast?" So, we then performed a sacred "Prayer of extinguishing the Tikki Torches and thanking the Party Gauds who bestowed many fortunes on us these past hours." and dragged our tired butts (At this point, it was myself, Celena, Lee and Eric) to Kirby's for some omlettes and more entertaining stories. Since I had to be back in Dallas for 2PM, I figured that we would roll on outta Austin. By this time, I was VERY braindead and asked Lee to drive the way back. I kicked the chair back and took a short nap. I was then woken up by the sound of my tires screeching. My immediate thought was, "It's going to be ok, we'll stop in time." Then...WHAM!!! Forward motion throws me into my seatbelt and I am now looking (very closely, mind you) at the rear end of a white Chevy. Not good. We pulled off into a bank parking lot and assessed the damages. Thankfully, NOONE was hurt. The guy in the truck had no visible damage, except for a bent plug, which they can probably take a wrench to. My car had a new cleft lip. We were able to bend my hood down a lot and even though there was some fluid leakage, the car was drivable. Thankfully, we were able to make it back to Dallas w/o the car overheating, simutaneously combusting, or just plain stopping. The trip back was much more somber than the one coming, but towards the end, we were back to our normal chipper selves...at least as chipper one can be w/o sleeping for 36 hours, driving for 7 of them, and partying for 10 of the rest. That and we discussed our new line of shirts involving our favorite catch quotes, "Qui est ton papa?!", "And...WWHHHEEE!!!!", , "PIE!", which we might get Celena to design. Final analysis: Party...GOOOOODD!!! Driving.....BAADDD!!! Still, a great time was had by all and I'm looking forward to doing it again...just this time in Dallas. :) Here's a link to the entire album of pictures I took at the party.
Dating.
It's been a while since I've updated this place. Not much has happened, except for an occasional date. Which brings me up to an topic: Dating... Growing up, I always hated dating. I would say that it was nothing than a bunch of horny guys chasing after girls that just want to play with you. Thus, all of the relationships I had started not out of dating, but because we instantly connected and found ourself in a new relationship. No courting, no working up to it, no sexual tension. We would meet, we would have one night together, and then poof. We're together. So, I'm now exploring this new idea of dating. (i.e. I'm now one of those horny guys.. :) Thankfully, I'm not out to just bed every girl I meet.) Anyway, I digress. These past few weeks have been chock full with dating and other women meeting opprotunities. A 3rd date with Snoopy Kiss Girl, a blind date with one of my friend's fiancee's sister...and tomorrow...TOGA PARTY!!! Yeah babye! Now I know that people say that they're just dating and that they don't want to get serious. And for some people, I believe that, but for the most part, I think that's total BS. We're all looking for someone. We're built for partnership. Call me a romantic, but I'm looking forward to the day that I find my special someone that I say to myself, "Ok. I've found her. I'm now ready to dedicate myself to you." And I think that one thing that is really cool is that I've learned a VERY valuable lesson in life, dating and relationships. The job of the guy is to make sure his woman is happy. Yeah, yeah yeah, some of you might argue with that; however, I know that I am really satisfied and fulfilled knowing that I'm doing the right thing which pleases her. Now to find a woman willing to communicate what she wants. :) Before I get too far off track and forget why I started writing this at 3:15AM, I will let you know why the circle is now complete. On Thursday, I called one of my X-girlfriends, Jenny to wish her happy birthday. Everyone has "Their X". The one that broke their heart more so than anyone else. Well, this is Jenny for me. The conversation went remarkably well and I can say that I am now friends with every one of my X-girlfriends. That's something not many people can say. I wish there was something really profound that I could tell you about that, but I can't think of anything at 3AM. Maybe something will come to me tomorrow. Till then...good night...err...good morning.
The Snoopy Kiss
Ever had one of those days where everything went your way? Where you were on top of the world? It seemed like for 24 hours, your guardian angel was the cream of the crop? And then it his 12:01, the next day, and his/her shift was over? On Friday, I had a truly extraordinary day. I got figured out A LOT regarding perl, Makefile and installing libraries on my UNIX system at work, without having root access. Go me. :) Then, I got a call from a girl who asked me out! Woah! Don't get much better, than that, right? Well, I then went to play disc golf with my best friend Lee and then I sank an 85 foot putt! (Quite an amazing feat, I will say.) After celebrating at one of our favorite restaurants, Chipotle, we went to CD Warehouse and I bought music from a band I've been wanting for a long time. Oingo Boingo. And on the way home, a really great girl who I think is the total bomb, called and wanted to hang out. I did the Snoopy Dance of Joy as soon as I got off of the phone with her. When she came over we chatted, and watched "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". Kevin Smith is one hell of a director, and we both enjoyed the movie. A woman who can hang with Jay and Silent Bob says a lot to me. Anyway, the universe was at my every command. Muhahahaha! And as far as I can figure, at 12:01, all of that changed. What happened is that I licked her. Now before your mind goes south with that, I want you to know that it was just on the cheek. It is what I call a Snoopy Kiss. Remember how Snoopy would lick Lucy and then she would go around screaming, "Dog Germs! I've been touched by Dog Lips!" Well, she didn't run around like Lucy did, but at that point, the evening was over. Nor have I heard back from her. Lesson learned. So, boys and girls, what's the moral of the story? For the Love of God, don't Snoopy Kiss someone until you've reached "that point" in the relationship. Even then...wait a few months. Commit that to memory. Here's Lee's account of the event:
God Bless Technology
I keep telling people that I haven't been up to much lately; however, as I've just finished writing an email to a good old friend of mine, Tino Dai, I realized that I've got a lot to talk about, but I keep forgetting. So, I'll list it out here so that I've got a point of reference. It's mostly small victories, but ones that really please me. I love my plastic car. I think that Saturn did themselves well when making my car. I've put it through so much tortue and tight turns that when I took it to the dealership to get it aligned, they said that they've never seen a car that askew before. Anyway, the point I want to make is that I got something for it that has me back in love with it. A CD-MP3 player. Now, on 1 CD, I can store 12 hours of music, all at CD-quality. I'm not sure if I can easily convey how joyous it is to be able to carry almost your entire CD collection in about 5 CD's. God Bless Technology I am currently transistioning roommates. I'm looking forward to rooming with "Mr. Sushi Matt", who has gained this title after professing his love for Sushi on a cruise we went on a while back. I also think that with Mr Sushi Matt, (and soon George) we will turn my house into the ultimate bachelor/gaming pad. We will have a PS2, Dreamcast, X-Box and GameCube. And after I've built up some extra funding, HOT TUUUUBBB!!!! (And maybe tommystubcam.com for those in waiting. :) ) I've taken up a really cool hobby of Disc Golf. This is a sport which I had seen before, but never played. Thankfully to my good friends at the Nejdl and Gibson house, I have been properly introduced to this new sport and quite enjoy it. I even went out and bought myself 3 discs. One of which "migrated" to the river on the first shot on the first hole of it's existance in my hands...never to be seen again. The other went into the river, rescued...later to be found nesting in the highest branches of a really tall tree. My putting disc has been faithful and fairly accurate in homing in on the "hole". Good Disc. I'm still a bit bitter about the course, but the last time I was there, I did much better and didn't sink a single disc, and in fact came out one ahead after picking one out of the river. That first time must have been some bad juju. An amusing story: Every Friday night, a bunch of us geeks get together and play Role Playing Games and partake in some light drinking and an occassional movie. This is the same that group. I have become known to the group as the "Nelly Froo-Froo" drinker. I always bring the Smirnoff Ice, Strawberry Daiquari's, and other fruity drinks. At first the group resisted. Then, little by little, I sucked them into drinking these tasty malt beverages. This Friday night, the last one gave in. John took one from my fridge and said in a very masculine tone, "Ok, I'm having one. Now don't make fun of me because I'm having a Nelly Froo-Froo drink, ok?" "Dude!! It's all good. We've been drinking them for a while." At which point John goes to open the Smirnoff Ice with his hands, and pulls back his left hand wincing and whining in a very distinctly girly voice, "ooouuuuWWW!!!" He hurt his hand opening the bottle. At that point, Lee and I turned right to each other and pointed, and prompted fell to the ground, laughing until we couldn't contain it anymore. John and his ego were not amused. We sure were.
The Perfect Joke
Ever have one of those moments where people present you with the perfect setup for the perfect joke and you deliver the perfect punchline flawlessly which causes everyone to erupt with laughter for the next few minutes in an instance that will be remembered for the rest of your life and the same for everyone else there? Well, I did that today. That was many hours ago and I'm still feeling very proud of myself for that. The short version of this story is that there is a group of us Geeks/CyberLuvas get together on Friday night for some good Role Playing Games. This time we opted not to play any games and go to Shake and Steak, a 24-hour hamburger joint. We had most of the usual crowd and one newbie. Well, this newbie apparently didn't know his place, because in the middle of all of us talking about the great movies that are out now and how awesome Spiderman was, he blurted, "That movie totally....SUCKED! It was horrible!" And then proceeded to tell us all the minute details that he saw flaws in. At first, we were open minded because some of the CGI was sketchy, but overall, it was a great movie. But he wouldn't let up. We then sensed an issue more fundamental than this newbie's disdain for the movie...so we probed. "What did Stan Lee (creator of Spiderman) do to you?" "What happened to you when you were a kid?" "Did Stan Lee take your lollipop when you were young?" "Did he abuse you as a kid?" At which point, I command the presense of the entire table by putting my hand out towards him as if I'm holding something and ask, "Show me on the doll where he touched you!!!!" Silence. That's pretty much where I went blank, folks. All I remember from then to minutes later was the entire table roaring with laughter and waving our arms around hystarically. We were probably making fools out of ourselves, and earning us a place on the "Not allowed back in" list, but we didn't care. Life was too good. And for the rest of the night, if someone got too wilded up, I'd put them in their place by asking the same question. It was a grand occasion that will stick in all of our memories for the rest of our lives. If you don't get it...don't worry. It was probably one of those moments where you would have to have been there. My friend Lee who was there also has another account of the story. And I made a Southpark version of my alter ego Disco Stu. You can make your own character.
Squid Attack!
So, it's been a while since I've played a prank on anyone, and tonight was the night to make up for the lost time. Matt Mussleman (No really, that's his real name, and not one fabricated for this story.) saw a whole octopus at an asian market a while back and knew that mischevious things could come from this, but hadn't determined anything yet. Then, he thought of a great joke...put this in someone's toilet, and wait..and wait..and wait...till you hear the girlish shreak of some unsuspecting victim. He decided that this victim shall be my roommate Ann. (Note: Matt did not just purchase an octopus, but also 2 squids...one for use elsewhere and another for "backup". When he unwrapped the octopus, he found out that it was already sliced, so we opted to use one of the ickier squids.) Now originally, this was supposed to happen at my house w/o me knowing any of it, so that I would be in just as much shock as Miss Dubose. However, so that the plan could be perfectly executed, Matt clued me in so that he could determine when Ann was going to be home. The social plan for tonight was to have a gaming party at my house with a Dreamcast, PS2, and Gamecube on my nice new 36" TV. This was a hit with everyone, including Sarah who didn't participate, but enjoyed watching a bunch of guys screaming at each other as we mauled one another at Quake 3, SSX and Chu Chu Rocket. The participants were Lee, Rusty, Sarah, Matt Mussleman, Matt Turner and myself. Rusty and Mr. Turner were kept out of the squid loop so that we could have some other bystanding victims. So we waited...and waited...and waited for Ann to finish her shift at Cozymel's. The time for Ann to come home came and the "Squid waiters" waited patiently for Ann to do her duty. We were disheartened that instead of using the bathroom like any normal person should, she made haste to grab her things so that she could go stay with her boyfriend for the night. We all gathered downstairs and the made every suggestion we could to have Ann go back into her bathroom and check the toilet. But alas...she said her goodbyes and closed the door behind her. Frustrated and thwarted, I fell on the floor screaming..."Anything!!! Just go!!!" The aforementioned door then opened and Ann poked her head in, curious as to why I was now yelling. At this point, we couldn't hold it in anymore and we then dragged her to her bathroom...She was disgusted...amused, but very disgusted. After she left, we were still recovering from busting a gut laughing about the whole ordeal.
Speak of the devil.
Sometimes, I wish that this "journal" wasn't online for everyone to see. And I also know that if I really wanted to, that I could have a separate online journal that noone else could read, but I don't like to spread myself like that because I know that if I have too many things to keep track of, I won't keep track of any of them. Anyway, I feel like listing off all of the things I'm nervous about at this exact moment: The roommate situation with Ann is wearing on me. ... Ok. Thankfully, I don't believe in coincidences, because I never would have been able to explain this one: Right as I finished typing that last sentence Ann "magicly" appeared behind me. By coincidence...yeah, right! So, here I am, writing about how the situation with Ann is wearing on me, only to hear a "Hello." behind me. I never even heard the garage door go off. I felt my brain go "KA-POW!". I kept staring at the screen, half hoping that she wouldn't see, half hoping that she would see what I wrote and get the message. Being the amazing roommate that she is, she asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about. To which I said, "No...er...um...yeah. I have been really annoyed with you lately." She then listened to what I had to say and what she did that really ticked me off and then I listened to what she had to say that really ticked her off. At the end, everything was calm and peaceful again. That was DEFINITELY not predictable. And I also see the huge benefit it is to just sit and listen to someone's complaint/upset. Just listen. She got what was upsetting me and I got what was upsetting her. And in the end, we had a new relationship. Life is good.
· 2 min read
More B-day!
I don't have a really smashing opening for this entry, so I'll just say this. I had an AMAZING time for my birth-weekend. It started out with a pub crawl down in Deep Ellum. Lee and I got the the pub crawl late; however, we were able to follow the horde of people walking around Deep Ellum wearing the same T-shirt with the words, "Pub Crawl" on them, figuring that this is where we wanted to be. On the walk to our first pub, we met up with two ladies that were quite intoxicated and when they found out Lee's name, one of the girls got really upset because her X-fiance was named Lee and then started to get upset at Lee for stealing her motorcycle and breaking her heart. (All playfully so.) So, the crawl was off to a good start. We got to the first club and met some very beautiful and interesting people. The Coors Light girls were there; however, they had enough makeup on that made me hope that Clairol wasn't flammable. I found out that they were passing out "Hello" nametags and got someone to give me on. (Some of them were "Ivana Pearl Necklace" and "Kanigo Downonya" A bit disappointed with, "Never had an Orgasm" I realized that this could turn into a benefit since it was my birthday. (Just kidding mom! :) ) Some of the women were interesting to talk to, and some of the women were a bit too tipsy. At some point, we decided to blindfold Lee and have him pin the tail on the Enron Executative. One thing that was great was that some people, despite the cold weather, dressed up in semi-traditional Irish garb and others decided that they were too sexy for it. But all in all, the boys had a grand ol' time. The slogan for the night was, "10 Bars, 250 People, Many Blondes, No Waiting" When Lee and I ended the pub crawl, we realized that I no longer had my camera and had no idea where it could be. I was a bit bummed, but not discouraged. After talking to "The Librarian Girl", (The one touching her boob.) and some searching, we found that They Might Be Giants were playing right next to us the entire time. Almost worth missing the pub crawl, but not quite. We got back to home safely, after using Whataburger to dilute the blood in our alcohol stream and kept chanting out ourselves, "Good Pub Crawl." At that point, around 2-3AM, I went to sleep in my own bed. Around 9AM, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, so I joined my friend Angie Champion for an adventure down to the St. Patrick's Day Parade. (Since I didn't have my camera, I don't have any other pictures. Sorry.) We had a good time looking at the variety of floats, including the "Heterosexual Men In Favor of Moustaches." "Beware of the Mullets" and "Drunks Against Madd Mothers." And low and behold the same Coors Light girls from last night. We ended it with a friend of Angie's buying me lunch and sharing decorating ideas. I got in time to start cleaning the place up for the real party. Slowly, but surely, people started to wonder into my house and realize that this is the place to be for a good time. There were about 30 people there and after people started to leave, I broke out the Twister mat and the Twister contest began. Little did I know that as I was stepped out of the room that the grand prize was my house. I came back into the room to find out that Frank Fu was now the proud owner of 769 Panorama. I demanded a grudge match. Things started to look dim for our past landlord, but then Mr. Fu made a critical mistake. With one foot on blue and one foot on yellow, I had to move my hand to blue and he tried to prevent me from doing so by pushing his body as high as it could to, which left his underside open, where I quickly got a hand on the situation and was able to use my leverage to push him up, over and off the board. Huzzah! The house was mine again! Disco Stu also made an appearance and got the house and a lot of bootie shaking. I started to get tired and found a friend of a friend (Cathy) sitting on the couch and plopped my head in her lap. Our mutual friend (Suzyn) then mumbled something about getting tired and then plopped herself between me and the back of the couch. Needless to say, I was in 7th Heaven. Cathy then proceeded to give me the best face massage I had ever gotten my entire life. Slowly people started to leave the party; however, I was too intoxicated, not by the alcohol, but by the position that I was in. Around two PM, the last of the people left and I was still enjoying myself with my head in Cathy's lap and Suzyn cuddled by my side. Before my blessed friend Lee left, he did one of the coolest things. He took my other couch and set it right next to the couch I was currently lying on so make a big bed...to which Cathy was able to lie down beside me. God Bless You Lee!!! This is the point where I should have gone to sleep, but couldn't so, because I was too happy. Cathy and I stayed up early talking and enjoying each other's company and did sleep for a little while before they had to leave to go back to Austin. (They drove all the way over, just for the party.) The next day, I attempted, poorly, to clean up and just walked around in a daze, saying to myself, "Good Party." I later saw Resident Evil, which was a good movie, especially since I hugely lowered my expectations, because it was a movie based on a video game. I found out that people are STILL talking about the party and how much fun they had. I also feel so blessed that I as able to have such a great party and have such great friends join me at it. To quote my best friend Lee..."It's allllll good."
Birthdays
Birthdays. You get one once a year. And after a while, you get numb to them, and I've heard that at some point, you actually start dreading them. Thankfully, I'm not going to be one of those people. Each one of my birthdays will be a blessed and sacred event that I spend with the people closest to me. And last night, I was lucky enough to create one of those events for someone else. At Mary's wedding (see "Mary's Married"), a close friend of mine, Sherri Zeitman said that she wanted a surprise birthday party since her birthday was next week. So, I, along with a few other cohorts, gathered up some friends of hers and planned an adventure for her. It started with her finding a Kidnapping Letter attached to her door after the doorbell rang at her house at 7PM. (At the time, she was expecting Chuck Sutherland to pick her up.) After waiting for a while, I walked into her house to find her awaiting her captor. I then took her by the hand and escorted her to my car where I never said a word. After she was secured in the car and unable to hear me conspire about what was next, I then called Chuck who in turn talked to Sherri and told her that she was on a "Mission", if she chose to accept it. And she did. Chuck then told her to let the force guide her. I got in the driver seat, highly amused that I had made it this far w/o messing anything up and drove over to Mindy and Shelia's house. Along the way, I kept performing "reality checks" on myself and couldn't stop laughing. Here I was, driving a Landmark Education Self Expression and Leadership Program Leader, blindfolded, in my Saturn and my only method of communication with her was through motioning her arm to represent "Yes." or "No.", laughing and writing letters on the palm of her hand. She then started to tell her captor (me) that she was really scared and excited at first; because it was like being in one of the Teen movies. When we arrived at Mindy and Shelia's, we decided to make the most out of her unaware state and take a possible blackmail picture. Little did I know that the pictures taken later on in the evening would be all the more incriminating. We unmasked Sherri, got a great look of surprise and delight on her face and had fun drinking wine and champaigne before heading out to Abacus...home of the worlds greatest cheese fries. A great time was had by all at Abacus as we wined and dined on some of the greatest food, deserts and cherry's I had had in a long time. The best picture of the night: Smile, my gorgeous ladies.
Mary's Married.
You can find my picture album for this, here. The prize winning photograph. Yesterday, along with about 70 other people, I witnessed the marriage of someone very near and dear to me and someone who I believe will cherish and love her for the rest of his life. Congratulations Mary and Richard Ameredo. (sp?) I used to think that only women thought about things like this, but I then started thinking about my own marriage. Who would it be? How would the wedding be? Who would be my best man? Would Pastor Bill do the sermon? Where would it be? If I plan to get married, then I better find a church here to call home, else I'll be looking pretty out of place having the marriage in my house, because I'm not a member of any other church. In any case, I realized that I was thinking too much and by that time the wedding was over and Sonny came out from behind us playing bagpipes, indicating that the ceremony was over and that we were supposed to get to downtown for the reception. The reception was one of the most fun I have had in a very long time. It started off with an open bar. (And it ended with taking a bottle of champagne and going to Zeitman central (where I find myself now) and talking all about Europe and my adventures there.) There were a lot of Landmark people there and of course, we were all VERY self-expressed and later owned the dance floor. I found myself very tipsy at the beginning from two bottles of wine and no food in the last 6-8 hours. I was enjoying myself very much, but very cautious every time I walked near the beautiful cakes, afraid that I would become the token clumsy fool that tripped into them after paying more attention to a beautiful woman walking by me than my own feet walking in front of me. Even in my "more than tipsy, less than drunk" state, I was able to avoid disaster and certain embarassment. I will admit that I look forward to my wedding. I look forward to meeing the person that I will intently look at with both eyes in front of an audience of about a hundred people and say, "I do." and then know that for the rest of my life, this woman will light me up, turn me on, make me do the "Dance of Joy" for as long as we both shall live. Yes, I know that like any relationship, my marriage will go through hard times. It will go through REALLY hard times. Hell, it'll go through times where I will wish that I had that device in Men in Black where I would forget the about everything; however, I KNOW that I have the tools to make the relationship work. And if I can find someone with tools of her own, I think we'll be set for life. Marriage...How 'bout them apples. NOTE: I finally wrote down my My Theory of It. Please read and comment.
Better Sunday things.
Yes, there are things to do on Sunday, but they always seem really boring for me. Have you ever noticed that as much as you want to get your butt out of gear and go do something that you know would be worthwhile, you don't always do it? In fact, most of the time, you don't? Today was one of those days. I have $300 of merchandise to return, a house I'd like clean, a stomach to feed (mine), and a very adventure-some life to live. And I spent the most of the day in front of the computer. I think that what I'm looking for in a woman is someone who will give me a good kick in the rear when I get like that so that I'm doing something I enjoy, rather than retreating into the depths of my computer. Heck, I don't even have that many online friends to chat with to pass the time. Where does one go to make online friends now? Eq has lost my interest since Terri and I broke up. I began to write her a letter. A letter to let her know what's really going on for me. A letter to let her know why it didn't work. A letter to give her what she deserves. Heh. It would be easier if I knew what she deserved. :) I know that this was a huge growing experience for me, and hopefully for her too. My biggest regret is not being responsible for how much I hurt her. She still means so much to me that I only wish the best for her. On a happier note, I worked with someone today on unconceiling something which was holding her back from completing her college paper which she was procrastinating for so long. And now she's back in action. I'm starting to find comfort in providing something for other people. It makes this world a better place. All is well in the world. It may not always seem like it at times, but I know...all is well. -God Bless.
· 2 min read
V-day
Much Love, everyone...much love.
· 1 min read
Pics of London
The pictures from London , some exporation of the nightlight of Paris with dad (including the Moulin Rouge) and Interlaken w/Bern are now up! Story coming soon.
Interlaken Part 2
NOTE: Pictures are not up yet. Check back in a few days. That's also why the entry is short, because I use the pictures to remember what I've done. My dad and I started our adventure right after work on Friday and borded the Eurostar, which provides a 3 hour train to London using the famous "Chunnel" which connects England to France by a tunnel underneath the English Channel. We got into Waterloo station (where Napolean suffered his defeat from the English.) and got a taxi to a nearby hotel. We started off our next morning by getting on a "Hop on and hop off" bus tour (which I am convinced is the best way to explore a city) which took us around all of the major tourist areas of London for a reasonable price. We hurried up to see the "Changing of the Guards" at Buckingham Palace and was able to get right up to the gate and prepped ourselves for some really good pictures. By the time 11:40 rolled around we got curious why with their "Military precision" they hadn't started. We then saw the sign which said, "The changing of the Guards will be Tomorrow at 11:30." Frustrated, we walked back to the bus station and started back on our tour. The rest of the day was without much adventure, mostly due to the rain and the cold which bothered us. We did, however, take a rivership cruise on the Thames river and under London and the Tower Bridge. We finished it off by seeing Tower Bridge (which is not London Bridge. London Bridge is actually much smaller.) at night, a beautiful sight to behold and going to eat at a Greek restaurant where they didn't serve wine, so we went to a store and got ourselves a bottle to bring in. Soon...sleep. Note: One of the Beetles, George Harrison died the day before. This is important later. For the next day, we made it back to Buck Palace because I wanted to see the guards. The streets were then packed like Mardi Gras and finally the guards and the band came out to begin the cerimony. The changing took quite a long time and then the band organized themselves in a semi-circle and started to play a Beetles melody as a tribute to the late Beetle. I didn't know most of the song, but was able to recognize "Yellow Submarine" and "Hey Jude". At the end, the band got a loud applause and dad said that he was glad that we came. Afterwards, we jumped back on the bus and saw the rest of the city. We then also saw Shakespear's globe and the Tate Modern museum. All in all, a good time was had by all. Next weekend, Interlaken Switzerland again!
Another Coonass in Paris
Today, miracles of miracles, M. Barney "I don't need to travel." Falgout landed in Ch. de Gaulle airport to visit his son and explore Europe. There were a few issues, like the airline putting him on an earlier flight from New Orleans to Houston because there looked like there might be delays and then the flight from Houston to Paris being late and then woman on the flight to Paris behind him kept hitting his chair because she claimed that she didn't have enough space. However, all is now good. He was even feeling generous to give a metro performer some change (American quarters), which we had a good laugh over. The plan for this weekend is either London or a walk along the western coast of Italy through 5 small towns there. As is usual with my travelling, I will decide the day of. A bientot!
Belgium
Once again, I decided to make game of this crazy world and venture off into the unknown by myself. I had the best time going by myself to a hostel, so I should have just as much fun same this time, right? Nope. My trip to Brugges was almost cancelled because there was an accident at Gare du Nord (my take off station). Luckily, an old Frenchman took me under his wings and helped me get to another Metro where I was able to make it to my train with only 5 minutes to spare. When I got to Brugges, I went to the "Johnny Rockets" hostel, because the description and name seemed fun enough. I took the taxi and walked inside the bar and asked the bartender for a room. It seemed pretty noisy, but I'm sure that I would enjoy myself. After the paperwork and credit card, I hear the words that will forever ring in my ear as The signal that you're getting a bad room. "You're in Room...1." Not knowing better at that time, I took the key and walked upstairs to the unlit, stair hallway and blindly felt myself though the door way. I finally opened up a door and the motion detector lights came on. And true enough, I was the ONLY soul there. I found my room, opened it up and plopped my stuff down and went off for a restaurant. Dinner was pretty good. I then explored Brugges and found that it's a really romantic city at night with the nicely lit buildings and waterways. Tired and full, I went back "home" and crawled in bed...going to sleep took a lot longer because I could hear the music downstairs going strong. The next day, (Unfortunately, a rainy day, but that did not douse any spirits.) I packed everything up and took a bus tour of Brugges and was quite impressed. Regrettably, I did not see it; however, in one of their buildings, they have in a metal container, the "Blood of Christ." They also have a beautiful area with a statue of Neptune in the middle. The city is surrounded by many canals, which split up the city wonderfully. Points of interests in Brugges: The main attraction is the Tower. (I forget the name.) Every 4th store is a Lace store since it is a huge tradition in their town. And inside every other lace store is a tapestry store. If I remember correctly, there are 20 tapestry factories in Europe and 9 are in Brugges. So, if you're going to get lace and tapestries, go to Brugges. After enough touring, I decided to make a change in plans and go to Brussles. Home of the EU (European Union) and my favorite tourist place so far: Mini Europe! (The leaning tower IS leaning, but the picture was taken the wrong way.) When I got into Brussles, I was completely lost (AGAIN!). I quickly found an Ibis hotel (4 stars and in the Nortel travel recommended hotels list) and plopped my weary arms and legs in bed. The next morning, I had some Belgium Waffles (very good with some chocolate syrup.); visited the Grand Market; did some window shopping; and enjoyed some of the local artwork. Afterwards, I took a bus tour to the Atomium (A 100+ meter monument built for the 1950 Olympics) and then the neatest place so far: Mini Europe. As it's name suggests, all of the monuments of Europe are shrunked and placed in this decent sized area. There's the Eiffel Tower, Sienna, off shore rigs, Brugges, Brussles, Arc du Triumph, Venice, The Berlin Wall, Greece (?), an oil repository on fire, and a lot of other places I have not been to yet. It was; however, a really great feeling to see some of the places which I have already been to and places I have yet to see. I then hopped on the tour bus again and went to see some Chinese houses which were imported to Brussles as monuments. (Most impressive.) It made me realize that Asia is the next place I want to visit. No journey to Brussles can be complete without seeing the "Manneken Pis". Legend has it that when Brussles was under attack, the king's son releaved himself on one of the attacking cannons, thus saving Belgium. A statue was created of the boy, of course...peeing. Who knew that urine could also be used to save lives? Also, the boy is dressed up in various costumes throughtout the year. (Long live the King.) At first, I thought that I would not enjoy myself as much in Belgium, since I had this thought that it was a boring country. However, Europe has not let me down yet. I continue to explore new places and enjoy myself each time I venture out into the unknown. Next weekend will be great because "Father Falgout" (aka Dad) is coming to visit for 2 weeks and we shall paint Europe red! Cheers! P.S. Here's the link to the entire album. There are lots more pictures from Mini Europe.
· 5 min read
Thanksgiving in Europe
If you haven't read yesterday's jounral entry, please do so now, because otherwise, you might be lost... I sure am glad that I went to the Thanksgiving banquet at the church. They were having a huge American festival. Complete with turkey, mashed potato(e?)s, gravy...the whole kit and kaboodle. Since I came in late and most every seat was taken except for the volunteers, I volunteered to stay and help clean up afterwards. Something I was more than happy to do so that I could enjoy the atmosphere as long as possible. The dinner was good and the people were friendly. I had no problem making myself at home with second servings of dark meat and mashed potatoes. I make a few more friends including one Indonesian girl who experienced Thanksgiving for the very first time. I later found out how hard she had to work to persuade her father to allow her to come to Europe to study since women over there VERY rarely move away from home at such an early age. (I'm beginning to see how interesting other cultures are and how differently they work than Americans. We are quite free.) One of the other girls, German, who I had met before, was quite "open" and had no problem putting her fingers on my plate to remove some of the strings from the cooked turkey as I was eating. My thoughts went from shock to amusement as I repeated my mantra which has kept me sane these past weeks: "That's just how they do things." This journey in Europe has been very interesting as I continue to see life and other people's reality as just that...another person's reality. For her, it's ok to put fingers in another person's plate. Funny, eh? I got home and packed up for this weekend, still not sure of where I will go, but backing warm. To finish off about last weekend, the next day I got ready to go paragliding again and luckily, we took a different route so I was able to see some different, beautiful scenery, including a city that's in the Guiness book of World Records for being the longest city in the world (7km). Nervous, I walked behind a house, made some yellow snow and then syched myself up for flying in nothing but a parachute. (Tandem, of course). Giglo strapped oursevles to the parachute, told me to run off a cliff and then... We were off!!! I'm flying! I'm really flying!!! Everything below me looked so small. The view of the lakes was mystical...A few minutes into the flight, I hear the question, "You like tricks?" "Sure!" "WE GO LEFT!!!!" Little did I know that "tricks" meant barrelling down towards the earth while listening to the altimeter beep off the number of meters we had left before we hit the ground. I truly had the experience of being in a plane, which was spinning on an axis right before a crash. I was so horrified and excitied that I couldn't move. However, I knew that I was in the hands of a professional and was really enjoying myself. When we stopped circling around, my heart and breath caught up with me and I felt the adrenaline rush finally hit my head. Whoo!!! And to imagine I'm thinking of going back for skydiving or canyon jumping! :) Then, all to shortly, we landed. We both thanked each other for the experience and he dropped me back off at Balmers. I then rested for a while and read some of Anne Frank's Diary and talked to some of the people that just came back from skydiving and canyon jumping. One of the guys had a smile on hit face that you could scrape off. "That was the wildest thing I've ever done!", he exclaimed. After the rush wore off, I went touring around town and had a LOT of fun at this restaurant called Bebbie's. Where the waiters sing along with the radio and are extremely cheerful and friendly. They also ring cow bells for children. Oh, one thing about Europe which amazes me is how they allow their pets to come into the restaurants with them. It's just commonplace. Finally, my journey was over and it was time for me to head back to Paris. I vowed, tho to come back and spend another weekend in Switzerland, most likely in Interlaken, because I am amazed by it's pure beauty and naturality. Oh yeah, and the chocolate's good too. :)
Thanksgiving
As the previous entries describe, last weekend, I spent it in Interlaken (which means between lakes), Switzerland which is in the middle of the Swiss Alps. After getting enough courage to do a trip by myself and hearing enough about Interlaken I bought tickets for my humble journey to Switzerland. On the way to the train, I was stopped by two American girls who were also on their way from Paris to Interlaken and had missed their two previous trains and wanted me to take a picture of them in front of the train as proof. I was quite amused. So, I took their picture and went on my way. After various layovers, I got off the train and into Interlaken only to realize, "I haven't booked a hotel." Luckily, I found the same two girls and asked if I could bum a ride with them to whatever hotel they were going to. I later found out that they were going to a hostel instead. (Quick note: Hostels are usually for college aged kids that are backpacking all over Europe can stay for CHEAP prices $16-20/night in a dorm type room.) So, around midnight on Friday night, Balmer's became my new home for the next two days. I walked inside and was warmly greeted by an Astralian girl who had check in soon before me and was sitting down with a bunch of other college kids in front of the fireplace drinking beer. "Quite a cozy atmosphere," I thought. I then went about the check in procedure and opted for the single room since I figured that my budget allowed for it. :) 40 CHF/night (~$20) I went up to my room, dropped my bags and headed off downstairs and joined everyone for a house raid and interesting time with their cactus. After a few drinks and a few more friends, I headed off to bed. The next morning, I had a great view of the houses around the area and got to explore more of Balmers. Early morning, I signed up for paragliding, because I wasn't ready for ski diving yet. That was going to be tomorrow. So, before the pickup time, I explore the beautiful city of Interlaken. There was a grand casino. (yes, those are clouds in the background, not my camera). I also took an impromptu nature hike. And soon, I was supposed to go paragliding, so I trotted back to Balmers. In the truck ride there, were the two girls I met in Paris, and 4 other girls ready to be thrown into the air. The ride there and back was simply amazing!!! It was truely a winter wonderland. We took the cable car, to the top, above the clouds and had an even better view. The 2 Parisien girls went first and the 3 other girls and I waited behind. We walked around until we found a great slate of snow and I said, "This is the 2nd time EVER that I've gotten to play with snow." "REALLY?!!" The girls said. So, they showed me how to make a snow angel. I was quite happy. I even got to be a kid again. Afterwards, the girls and I made love notes to our admirers back home. (Jen, someone and someone. I wish I was better with names.) Two of the paraglider pilots came back (one apparetly couldn't make it) and the other two girl went and Jen and I stayed behind and had Swiss fondue for lunch. About an hour later they were ready again and we trekked to the top of a high point and Jen and I hyped ourselves up to do what others have told us to do for a long time...go jump off a cliff! And unfortunately, the weater did not permit us because there were too many clouds which would not allow for a safe landing...I asked them about waiting and they said that it could take until tomorrow. So, sadly, they walked back down. (I decided to roll down the mountain instead since I was still enjoy playing in the snow.) I then enjoyed the ride back home and chilled out with everyone else for another night at the hostel. ... DANG! I'm going to update this tomorrow, because I want to make it to a Thanksgiving dinner! Check back tomorrow for the rest!
Pre-Balmers time
Fortunately, I got my pictures up... Unfortunately, I'm sick. I'll explain the pictures soon...to sum it up, I stayed in a youth hostel for ~$30 a night for a private bedroom. I also met tons of great people who were mostly college kids that were studying in Europe and backpacked during the weekend. I also knocked off another item on my list...paragliding...those are the pictures where you're looking between my thighs. Everything was beautiful; however, I didn't get enough sleep, so I think that's why I'm not feeling good. I'm outta here. Night.
Mr. List
Amsterdam pictures are up!!! (Check out: Itchy Bitchy, and my new hero, who's diary I am now reading: Anne Frank) So far all of my trips have been to the stereotypical Classic European cities...Paris, Vencie, Siena, Florence, Chamonix, Salzburg, etc. However, this past weekend, I feel as if I went to the "New Orleans" of Europe: Amsterdam. Amsterdam is a major city in the country of Neatherland. It's a very hip place where the gas stations play techno, the streets are lit up by neon signs and even grandmas wear fashionalbe coudoroy jeans. It's also where you can find the famous "Red Light District" and smoke majaraunia legally. I knew that I wouldn't partake in any of those activities (I can almost hear my mom giving a sigh of relief right now.); however, it was on "My List" of things to see. (On this trip I got to see how everyone has a "My List" This is a list of things which they want to experience in their life before they die. Skydiving, be married, and watch your kids go through the same hell that you did with them, are a few examples. My list is a lot more conservative than most; however, I still have a few wild things to add to it: paragliding, sky diving, bungee jumping, etc.) I also consider myself an open person and was able to just be with the idea of prostitutes standing in a window, wearing next to nothing, putting on a show for some guy with about $50 looking for a good time. However, one scene blew my mind: I'm chilling with some friends in the red light district with our backs up against the walls, talking to each other and facing the prostitutes in front of us and then I notice this girl crouched down to my left, reading a book. Since it was really cold outside, I figured that she didn't do this for fun, but hey...this is Amsterdam. A few minutes later, one of the curtain's in front of my goes back, an a guy walks out, and then the girl gets up, waves to the prostitue, the prostitue waves back, and the girl grabs onto the arm of the guy who just came out and they walk off down the street arm in arm. I know that I'm assuming something here; however, that just blow my mind! Also, while in Amsterdam, I wore my black trenchcoa, black shirt and my new Oakley sunglasses. My friends said that I looked like the "White Shaft". However, to the locals, I apparently looked like someone who was into the white stuff. No, not Anthrax. Cocaine. I was approached 4 times by someone wanting to sell me some coke. All in all, not much else exciting happened while I was there. I didn't enjoy myself there as much as the other places; however...it was on the list. What's your List?
Speeding on the Autobahn
More pictures! Innsbruck and Salzburg, Struttgart and the Porche Museum, and Venice I recommend reading the story first, tho. Normally, I would give a long spiel about how much travelling I did this weekend; however, I'll try to keep it short…just like my attention span This past Thursday was All Saints Day, which the French have off. So, Ankur, Nilaksh and I decided to take Friday off and go to Rome and explore Italy. We started the trip around 9AM, Thursday morning. We never got to Rome. Using our Internet provided driving directions, we started and found out that our trip takes us through Switzerland. Slight problem. Ankur and Nilaksh are from India and need a Visa to get in. After getting turned away by the border guards, we tried finding the Swiss Embassy, but to no avail since everything was closed due to the holiday. Frustrated that we could no longer use our directions we started plotting a new course…Venice. We realized that to do this, we would have to go north of the Swiss, through Germany and Austria. And that's what we did. Up unto this point I had not driven yet; because the car was a standard, which I don't know how to drive. I decided to stop letting that hold me back and took the wheel in Germany…on the Autobahn. I had a quick lesson and started driving…fast. Reaching speeds of 170km/h, I was quite happy. That was until I passed a cop car and they pulled me over. "Guten tag…. … … Sprecken se deutch?" …some dialoge… He almost sounds like a Japanese guy scolding me. "You were going 100. 20! The speed limit is … 80!" "Really?!" (Plays the dumb American role.) He then goes back to his car and comes back. "Normally…100 marks! But I let you go. Drive carefully!" Completely amazed that after only driving on the Autobahn for 30 minutes, I was stopped for speeding, I decided that my driving mojo is no good here and I handed over the car to someone else. We arrived in Italy around midnight, and Venice around 1:30AM. We got lost and finally found a hotel on the outskirts of Venice. The next morning we got up and took the train into Venice. We couldn't find any place to buy tickets, so we just hopped aboard without paying. Venice is beautiful. A bit smelly tho. We visited San Marco square. I even made some new friends. We then took a gondola ride around Venice and saw some beautiful scenery. It's amazing how everything is surrounded by water. Once we had our fill of Venice, we jumped in the car and headed to Innsbruck, Austria home of the 1964 and 1976 Winter Olympics. Unfortunately, there was no snow around, so we looked around the quaint Austrian town and saw some statues and monuments and paid tribute to someone great who has allowed this amazing exploration into the world happen. (Thanks Cecil!) We then moved moving onto my FAVORITE part of the weekend: The Swarovski Museum! Swarovski is the leading crystal manufacturer in the world. Their museum entrance was a giant head with water coming out of the mouth. The entire place was sparkling and full of crystals. They also had a dome of mirrors where I had too much fun with my camera. Outside they also have a labyrinth of hedges and a blue crystal in the middle. I was like a little kid playing again. The scenery from there was also amazing. We then gathered up our souvenirs and decided to visit Salzburg. Home of Amadeus Wolfgang Mozart, a castle, and people play on a VERY large chess board. We got there late, so we rushed up to the castle and almost collapsed when reaching the ticket booth only to find out that they only took cash and we had no marks or shillings. Thankfully the US Dollar is the most accepted currency in the world and we were able to get through. (Thanks Ankur!) We toured the castle and found an interesting story about the Salzburg people and why they're called "Bull Painters." Exhausted, we drove to Struttgart, Germany where one can find the Mercedes-Benz and Porche museum and where we found the MOTHER of a hotel. This place had 2 casinos, a concert hall, a dance club, a movie theatre, an Irish pub, about 10 restaurants and 5 bars. Amazingly enough we pooled our resources we were able to manage a double room in a business suite (The brought in a separate bed for me.) and our view was amazing. Being inventive, I decided to make my bed on top of the conference table where I had a nice view of the Mercedes-Benz museum. We got up and drove to the Porsche museum, saw a few cars (Some fancier than others, and some speedier than others) and then headed back to Paris. When we finally made it back to Versailles we had traveled about 3300km (~2000 miles) and through 5 countries. What a trip. So, I tried to make this a small entry; however, as you can tell, so much happened that it's almost impossible to keep it brief. Who knows what next weekend will be like!
Chamonix
Yes!!!! My pictures are finally uploaded! (Chamonix, Paris, Italy) This past weekend, I ventured out to the French Alps at Chamonix, France. It was an immensely beautiful sight. In fact, I even said, "Some people say that there's no God, or don't believe in any type of higher power. However, I look at this and say to myself, there's no way anything this beautiful cannot have been created by God." Chamonix is a valley town, filled with valley people who know how to enjoy life. They are very relaxed and friendly people that wear all types of sporty clothes. From what we could tell, they make most of their money off of tourism and skiing. (We visited during the off season, so there was very little activity.) Highlights: Chamonix also had a concrete luge which was a lot of fun, once I learned how to operate my board. And when I finally did learn how to operate it, I ended up going too fast and falling off, scraping myself and my leather trenchcoat. After rolling around for a while, I gathered myself up, got back on and continued luging away. While Ankur, Nilaksh and I were walking around at night trying to find out way back to the hotel, a car pulled over and a guy and girl dressed in preppy uniforms came out and asked for our ID's. I looked at their shirt and it said, "Gendarderie". I figured they were with the law since noone else would stop us, but I wasn't quite sure. So, I asked...Dressed in his turtleneck sweater he said, "No, I just wanted to play Tennis." It took us a few seconds to realize that it was a joke. After telling them that we were looking for our hotel and that we were on touring while working here in America we asked where our hotel was he told us that we had to actually climb over Mont Blanc to get to the hotel. This guy was funny! We finally finished up everything and after talking to them we thought it was great that we had light and easy French cops to harass us. For a very long time, I have been looking for a way to truly express how much I hate mornings. I have an extremely hard time waking up and getting ready. Well, on the way back from a night club in Chamonix, I found what I've been looking for. It's a shirt with Calvin of Calvin and Hobbs yawning and "Je hais le matin" (I hate mornings) on top. Perfect!
Couscous
One thing I realized I left out from yesterday's log was that on Wednesday, I went to a Couscous restaurant. Couscous is considered an original French food that's almost like rice and soup, but with a French twist. Not knowing what that French twist really was, I decided to have dinner the only way that I know that the French have dinner...with wine. Those that know me well, know that I VERY rarely drink wine. Only on special occasions. And I had already been in France for about 2 1/2 weeks, and I had not ordered wine yet. This was going to be my first time. Guess what. Apparently, I had walked into the ONLY restaurant in all of France that doesn't server wine. Very confused, confounded and amazed, I ordered a coke and enjoyed my couscous. I finally did get my "wine fix" last night right before I went out "swing dancing". That in itself isn't a great idea, because if you know anything about partner dancing, you know that you want to be completely sober. Luckily, I was able to pull off some moves at the "Slow Club" and not tick off any of the French there. Reality check: I went swing dancing in Paris! Whoo hoo! Every now and then, I have to do reality checks with myself, because I forget where I'm at and how awesome this really is. It's real easy to take it for granted. Adieu.
Get Lost!
For those of you that just want the answer to this question without having to read the whole story, here it is: GET LOST! Now here's the story: Wednesday was not a good day for me. I had some Italian food and went "swing dancing" the night before. When I got home, my stomach was not feeling good so I went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't go more than 5 feet away from the toilet before having to go back towards it. I then called into work and said that I wouldn't be coming in. I then crawled back into bed hoping for the pain to go away. At 2PM I was awakened by room service who wanted to come in and clean the room. Since I was in a dazed mood I said sure and thought that walking outside might do me some good since my stomach stopped aching. Figuring it would be a waste to spend a day in Paris and not exploring, even though I was sick, I decided to go to the Louvre. When I got there, it was closed because the workers were on strike. Of all the dumb luck. Since I was feeling weakened by my more unforunate events, I decided to go back to the hotel in hopes that the french maids were done with my room. Not knowing where I was, I took random turns knowing that you're always 5 minutes away from a metro station in Paris. My first turn lead me to a very interesting Metro station. (picture coming soon) I walked towards it and thought it was very cool. Behind that station was a historical monument. Once again, very cool. At this point, my curiosity was starting to overpower my weakness. Behind that was a lavish garden with kids playing soccer and perfectly aligned trees. I kept going straight towards what looked like another shopping district and ended up pretty much a dead end. And at the dead end was a statue that's probably older than dirt. So, the moral of the story is: When you're in Europe, the best thing to do is: GET LOST! Why? Because you'll always find something interesting. And even if it's a dead end, there'll be a 500 year old statue of a naked woman there. You can't lose. I was also approached by a pimp last night. It's the 2nd time in a week. What gives? Cheers, love and humanity. Tommy.
The strangest thing
It has taken me a while to get over the homesickness, frustration over how to handle life and all of it's issues; however, I think that I'm over the big hump. Thanks a lot Mary, for the wonderful coaching. Saturday was the first day for me to go out and fully explore Paris in all of it's beauty. And, as luck would have it, it rained. However, I was not going to let that bring me down. I donned my coat and umbrella and strided on our of the Hotel Mecure and to the Arc de Triumph via the Metro. Standing in front of it, gives the impression that the entire city of Paris was built to accompany the Arc. Outside of the huge circle, where the Arc lives, is a driving area where the streets which are perfectly symmetrical, aligned and beam from the middle like a perfectly cut pizza. I did not go up, because I knew that I would rather wait until I could see it on a sunny day. Strolling down the Champs d'Ellises, I bought a French shirt, and some CD's (One from my favorite French rapper, MC Solaar. Yes, I have picked up even the music here.) I then trotted over to the Eiffel Tower, where I decided again to wait until it was a clear day to visit the top of. I then walked around aimlessly, trying to get lost and find some more beautiful sights until I grew tired and headed home. Here is where the loss of being alone really hit me. I walked into my hotel room, delighted that I had seen all of these amazing sites, but sad that I had noone to share it with. I had also been contemplating the relationship with Terri quite a bit during my walk and I realized what I really wanted. I wanted Terri walking with me, arm in arm, as we toured the Eiffel Tower. I wanted to kiss the woman I'm tell everyone about in the "Jewel of Europe". I wanted to spend time in one of the world's most romantic city with "My bandcamp girl". However, I had hurt her earlier in the relationship, and the wounds were still fresh, so there was nothing I could do. After getting on the phones and talking to my mom and Mary (Thanks girls!), I was reinvigorated and decided to do something I had never done before. Go to a caberet! Moulin Rouge already had their last show, so I opted for the one in the brochure, Crazy Horse. What threw me for a loop was the number of Asian couples and women that were there. George told me that he went to Moulin Rouge with his family, so I figured it wasn't too raunchy. The experience was somewhat erotic, but I actually enjoyed the magician the most. Overall, if you're looking for an interesting experience, check one out, but it's not meant as a "peep show" or anything of the such. Since I took the last show, the Metro was closed so I had to either walk home or take a taxi. "It's Paris! Go walk!", I told myself. So, I popped in a CD in my player, and trotted down the Parisian roads at 2AM. That's when it hit me: I'm in Paris. I've got friends and family supporting me here. The hotel and food is paid for! I'm listening to Daft Punk, a great dance band. Life is good. At that point, life looked different. Rather than trying to rush home because it was 2AM and I was in a foreign city at night, I took my good ol' time. First, I walked to the Eiffel Tower and saw it at night. (The lights were off.) Then I moseyed on home, not caring if I was going the right way sometimes, and many times I wasn't. Along the way, I walked by a homeless person sleeping in the doorstop of a restaurant. Being that I was feeling like I was on top of the world, I figured that my heart couldn't go by ignoring that. And the more I walked away from him, the louder the thoughts in my head got. So, I turned around and gave him the change in my pocket. I then walked back home some more and realized that for as good as life has been treating me, about $2 was not enough of a gift to "pay it forward". So, after trying to push those thoughts for a few minutes that I should just keep on walking, I turned around again and gave him everything I had. This life has been too generous for me to not give SOMETHING back everywhere I go. I then walked away with a clear conscience, knowing that he would use that money more preciously than I. I arrived near home around 3AM and since I was hungry, I stopped by the Hippopatamus, a jive open till 5AM. I definitely wasn't prepared for what was inside. Inside the Hippo, you can tell it's a busy place. And at 3AM, the line was long. I waited around, trying to keep myself busy and trying not to pay too much attention to the punk kids that were occassionally yelling at each other. However, I couldn't tell if they were doing so jokingly or not. (They're speaking in French.) It wasn't until an older lady who was behind me told one of them something and then he went up to her right in her face and I swear he was cursing her out. The 6' black bouncer didn't pay much mind to them until they started duking it out. At first it was fairly contained until one of them kicked the other into some of the other tables and shattered the light fixture. They kept going at it to the point where they threw treys and glasses at each other. One even tried breaking a glass bottle to hit another with. Me and the old lady ran to the back of the restaurant, hiding, but still watching with a curious eye. Well, the bouncer threw them out and the police came. The manager told us that were waiting in line to leave because it was closed. Still hungry, but not wanting to completely leave the action, I went across the street to a windowed area. Inside, they were playing "Bohemian Rhaposody". Amused that they were playing American music, I started mouthing the words, "Scatamoosh! Scatamoosh! Will you do the Van Damn Go!" I looked around and saw a guy mouthing the words too. We smiled and I thought it was funny and then sat down. I then turned around and he made a motion for me to come sit down by him. I figured, "What the heck." I walked over to him and asked, "Tu parle englais?" shakes his hand "A little" So, I sat down and had a really interesting conversation with him. Apparently, he has been all over the world, Pakistan, US, London, etc and is a teacher. (A very social one too.) He spoke to me in the English he knew and I spoke to him in the French I knew. The only thing that bothered me was that the cautious part of my brain was working overtime. "When will he stiff me with the bill?" "What if he puts something in my drink?" "How do I know that he's not a psycho-killer?" However, I kept giving up those thoughts so that I could enjoy myself in this new position I found myself in. After a while, said he was leaving and got up and paid his share of the bill. I said goodbye and thought to myself, "Wow. That was definitely interesting." So, there you have it folks. Life for me is never boring. Nor will I allow it to be. It's too precious. It's too short. Live it up.
Paris stuff
Last night, I had dinner with some friends who went exploring Rome at the same time Hemang and I went exploring Siena. On Tuesday morning, we had heard that they were still stuck in Italy, because they didn't have their Passports. To further complicate the matters, one of the guys is Pakistan. (This'll give you a small taste of the rest of the story.) On Wednesday morning, we were really worried about when they were going to come back. And on Thursday morning, we were releaved that everyone was ok. You can check out the entire story at: Your Passport, and why you should never leave a country without it. (Especially at these times and if you're Pakastani.) This weekend, I plan to explore Paris. I've been living here for about 2 weeks and I haven't been able to explore this place much. I'll take care of the big attractions, like the Arc, Tower, Versailles, etc. Also, it might be the first time I go touring by myself. It will be a new and interesting adventure. Even though it's still October, I keep thinking ahead towards X-mas and how I would so enjoy having Terri and my family come visit me in France. It would truly be a great experience. A bientot!
Sienna
This morning, I came back from my trip to Italy. It was an interesting, frustrating, tiring, majesticly beautiful, and bad luck weekend. We started off by taking a train to Florence, where Hemang and I talked to this half French/Italian guy who was very cool; later joined by a group of female travellers looking to explore Italy. I couldn't sleep that well, (surprisingly enough) so I went to the dining car and wrote a letter to Terri, who I began to miss very much. When we left the train, we jumped to a bus to Siena. Siena was exquisite! The hotel right in front of the bus stop was "The Jolly Hotel", where Hemang and I dropped our bags and showered. We then had lunch in the Piazza while marvelling at the wonderful view. We began exploring the "Piazza" (an open area in about the size of a city block) and "Domo" and walked to the top of the Piazza's Great tower for what is called the best view of Italy. I started to carve my initials in the bell at the top, when a German couple asked me if I thought that the bell needed that. Shocked, amazed and embarrassed, I stopped. (If you see the letter "T" in the hanging part of the bell in this area, that's ME!) When we got down, we decided to join the people lying down in the piazza and took a nap on the bricks. Rested, we went back to the hotel to prepare ourselves for sundown. At 7PM in Siena, something amazing happens. Everyone comes out to walk on the major rode. EVERYONE! And then they come out dressed in their most fashionable attire. Men dressed in suits. Women dressed as fashion models. It was like a mile long runway with everyone showing off. Truly amazing! Hemang and I stuck around till about 1AM chatting and having some of the best gelato (Ice Cream) in the world! For the next day, we were going to explore San Gimangino, another small hill town in Italy. That city was on top of a hill, which offered a truly majestic site. We did some shopping, eating and exploring. That's where it all fell apart. See: "All I want is to go to Paris...is that so hard?" It's now 1AM, and I'm at Nortel, waiting for Hemang to finish his stuff, so we can go to bed. We're waiting for someone else to finish up over here, so that he can drive us back because the train workers are on strike and there aren't that many trains going to Montparnarse. Ciao!
The world will miss you, Bill Jemison IV
Yesterday, I discovered my favorite part of this buisness trip so far: The laundry service. Hemang and I are planning to go to Italy this weekend, so he recommended getting all my laundry done so that I can pack it. So, I put my dirty laundry in two bags and brought them downstairs. When I came in from work yesterday, there they were: Bright, Shiny and New. My underware was neatly folded with tags, my socks were matched together by pair. My shirts were even ironed and clipped to a cardboard square! My jeans were on a hanger and my "travel pants"...the pants that have seen more cities that some people's luggage, with all of it's holes, loose threads and crinkled pockets were ironed and maybe even starched! The only thing I could say that even came close to how I was feeling was, "Wow! That's worth the price of admission!" I would definitely go on more buisness vacations if it meant having someone else do my laundry and fold and iron it like that! Other than that, things are really shaky. My roommate situation is sticky right now and Terri sent me an email which has got my world in a swirl. I'm beginning to see how big of a jerk I am to people. Lots of times, I do inconsiderate stuff. Stuff, I'm sometimes not even aware of. Stuff, where I may have good intentions, but something else happens. If you're one of those people I've hurt or offended, I apologize. And finally, the pastor's son at my church passed away after fighting a lengthy illness. He was a friend of mine, close to my age, and the epitomy of dignity, intelligence and acceptance. The world will miss you, Bill Jemison IV.
Indian Incidents
Yesterday was definitely and interesting day, worthy of a story. Check out: Indian Incidents for more info. On the train ride to work today, I realized that one month ago today, the WTC was attacked. It seems like such a long time ago, yet I can still remember standing in my living room, watching TV and seeing the second tower collapse on live TV. Material possessions come and go. Life is precious. All you have is "Now". Live it up. Hemang and I are talking about going to a Depeche Mode concert tonight. I was hesitent at first, but since I realized that this will be a once-in-a-lifetime chance, I couldn't pass it up. --- Later --- Depeche Mode is a no-go. Since Hemang and I are going travelling tomorrow to Italy, we're going to take it easy tonight.
I forgot my Palm
Hemang and I bought tickets for this weekend to go to the small villas in Italy. I can't wait! This is what I've been looking forward to...not the big cities, monuments and museums, but the beautiful scenery. I'm so jealous of me. :) One mistake I made so far was to leave my Visor (read: My life) in the restaurant tonight. When I got home (did I say HOME?!) I realized this and walked back to the restaurant. I couldn't figure out how to tell the doormen I forgot something, so I used a line I remembered from Better Off Dead - "Je suis tres stupid." and made the motion of leaving something and walking away. The got a good laugh and directions to the bartender. I did the same for her after the waiter from my original table told her that I forgot my Visor. She laughed. I guess self-depracating humor is universal. :) I'm beginning to learn the RER and metro system. Thankfully, I'm a quick learner. I'm also grateful for Hemang who's been a great help to me getting around and his ideas for travel inspire me. Soon, I will be adventuring a la Falgout. I saw the Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triumph for the first time last night while eating dunner at a really expensive restaurant in the Chanz de Lizze (sp?). They had people salsa dancing in the bottom of the restaurant, and if I knew the dance any better, I would have grabbed someone and started dancing. However, when I go swing dancing (I found a swing club) I will live it up.
Coonass in Paris
So! I finally made it to Paris. This is just a quick note before I head off and do some real work in Nortel. Thank you all for your support and I will keep all of your updated on my adventures. I've seen some interesting sites! Love, sunshine and disco dancing, -Me Here are some excerpts from my journal which I started on the flight to France: Now, for the future. Where will I go in the next 2 1/2 months? What adventures will I experience? How will I grow? A lot of people are afraid to fly nowadays. I completely understand their fear; however, I don't share the same fear as them. As I just learned, I am most frightened by the sound that the airplane toilets make after those few seconds of silence after pressing the flush button. Push Button ... ?? ... Is it working? ... WWWHHHOOOOSSSHHH!!!! I realized today that the relationship I have with my pilot is the same I have with my doctor. I know that I'll hear from him in the beginning and in the end. However, I want as little interaction from him in between. Heh heh. The growth has already started, and I haven't even touched down yet. I realize that I've chosen to remain or pretend to remain innocent or ignorant in certain areas of my life. In 'Paris Inside Out', one of the first things I read was: "Wisdom is acquired only through the gradual shedding of innocence." So, I've been stunting my growth in those areas by deciding to stay innocent. Interesting.
Dreams Fulfilled
Every now and then a dream pops into the mind. Usually, the dream is killed off through cynicism and resignation..."You can't do that." "You don't really want THAT, do you?" "Get real." And sometimes, through the sheer power of determination and the power of committment, the dream wiggles and squirms it's way out of those thoughs and into the world. Two dreams of mine which I gave up on a while ago are now coming true. Own a house I am in love with. All expenses paid travel. Funny, now that I look at that, I think to myself...a year ago, I didn't think those were possible...ESPECIALLY at the same time. On May 29, 2001, I closed on my house. It is a beautiful, split level house which overlooks a park, has a beautilful garden, 4 bedrooms, 2 living rooms, and a beautiful kitchen. On October 6, 2001, I am leaving for France to work there for 2 1/2 months. I have no idea what to expect when I get there. Rude French? Not knowing the language as well as I would like? Another flight disaster? However, I will not be deterred by any of these thoughts. I am about to embark on a journey into a foreign country. And with it, I plan to embark on a journey into my soul. Who am I? What do I want to do with my life? What's next for me? In the words of my best friends, Lee: "It's all good, baby!"
The start of it all.
So, This is the beginning of it all. Soon, there will be discussions about the trips and adventures in foreign and distant lands. (France, Cancun, Cozimel, Mediterranian, etc.) And then...Tommy'sTubCam.com. It all begins here. Stay tuned for details and drop a line if you have other suggestions! "If all of life's a stage, who do I talk to about getting some better props?"
Long time, no writey.
Hi everyone. I know it's been a long time since I've written; however, I am planning to make updates to this journal regularly. The main reason I write today is to release a lot of frustration I have going on right now and to get it all out of my head an onto "virtual" paper. It has been one of those weeks, where SO many things have happened, that on Thursday a co-worker called me back and I told him I didn't need to talk to him anymore because that was a long time ago, and he reminded me that the message was on Tuesday. Here's a lowdown of my week: Wheee!!! Sunday - I completed the 5th weekend of my Landmark Wisdom course and saw that I was not being honest with myself or with my girlfriend, Terri. I talked to her with the intent on cleaning that up and seeing where we could go from there. However, the said conversation ended up with us breaking up. Many tears later, I was back on the road to Dallas, doing the best I could not to indulge in the "If only I had..." conversation. Monday - For the past 3 weeks, I have been in an intensive fight with my computer to get it upgraded. So far, I have gone through 3 different AMD processors, 3 different "compatable" motherboards, 2 cases, and 3 hardware providers. This was all because Fry's (read: Satan) refused to take back my returns, because a fan which I purchased from them, fried (appropriate, eh?) my CPU. I even talked to the store manager, who wouldn't budge. I then tried my luck again and amazingly enough, they took back EVERYTHING, including the fried CPU. I walked out of there feeling like a completely serviced customer. Tuesday - I woke up that morning to see something I've only seen about 3 times in my life: Snow. I was so amazed, I went out and took pictures of my house and some of the surrounding areas. I then went to Landmark center where I was going to be a major part of an introduction going on that night and I was lit up; however, out of the 8 people, noone registered. I was sad; however, I got to see why I participate at Landmark...because in an instant, your view of life, the universe and everything can shift, which opens up new ways of viewing and interpreting the circumstances which present themselves. (i.e. I have been beating myself up for the breakup with Terri, because I know how wonderful of a person she is. Amazing, beautiful, caring, genuine. How could I not want to be with someone like that? And I saw that the relationship wasn't "IT" and was just the next step I take towards finding "IT." (More on my theory of "IT" later.)) Wednesday - Usually the day that I go swing dancing at Sons of Hermann Hall; however, that didn't happen, because when I went to Microcenter to return two of the processors I purchased from them, I found out that they would not take them back. I was ready to start tossing fists. It was one of those moments were everything I had been supressing came up and I had to stop myself a few times and tell the person I was talking to that it's been a rough week to keep from busting into tears and going postal on them. I called my roommate and ranted and raved all the way back home to keep from driving my car into the store. Thankfully, it began to look up after my amazing, omnipotent friend Lee got my computer up and running. Yeah babye! Bad news: My computer typcially crashes when downloading from the internet and my cable modem's out. ETA: next Tuesday. Grrrr... Thursday - This was the least eventful of the days. So far, my "upgrade" has cost me ~$1500. And on top of that, I'm thinking about getting a laptop for convenience. This would also further my goal to being a writer. (Inspiration strikes me at the least convenient of places.) That added to a wireless Ethernet router, and a new Linux box, would make me mighty! Mighty Tommy! Mighty Tommy!...who still has a lot of work to do on relationships. :) Friday - I started off today by getting very overwhelmed by everything which happened this week. I then found my peace and sanity in two things: An online journal written by "Pfunk", an aspiring comic book writer, that is involved in one of my favorite online comics, Pffft. I have never met this person, nor have I even talked to her; however, Thank you, nameless soul. Your writing has granted me ease, and got me back in touch with my journalistic soul. A conversation with a friend of mine, Steve Racz, who's generosity simply amazes me. Steve was one of the people laid off by the many rounds of Nortel cuts. After being laid off, he joined a cross-country bike ride while also maintaining a group designed to support ex-Nortel employees to find jobs called HireTopTalent. Today, Steve and I were talking about relationships, life and the usual. After sharing with him where I was with life, Terri, and the universe, he said something very profound, "Be yourself. And those that need to be in your life will be attracted to you. And those that don't need to be in your life will be repelled by you." It makes so much sense and gives me so much freedom. And it doesn't even necessarily apply to romantic relationships...but everything. If only computers were that simple. :) What I've realized about all this is that I'm starting to get a bigger sense of what I'm up to in my life. I'm looking to do something big. Something biggger than what I can do by myself. I want to impact this world...this place we all live and dwell on. And I want my future partner to be a part of this. And I want this future partner to be someone I grow and develop with. I am easily distracted and am looking for someone to bring me back to my goals and desires. It might be a while till I find that person. Hell, it may never happen. And that's ok...because I know that God and the Universe are on my side. Thanks for everything, people. You make this world worth living. P.S. The interesting thing about the two people who contributed to me on Friday are both Canadian. Thus giving me more evidence that Canuks are some of the coolest people around.